Co-sleeping - will it be forever?

[kumber]

I'm debating whether to start co-sleeping. I had to do it out of necessity last night and am utterly amazing at how he instantly fell asleep. I've done some research into how to make it safe and am debating whether to go forward with it. My concern is I will end up in a position where he won't go into his own bed.

What are your experiences, both good and bad?

 

[CARNAT22]

Bee is 9 months and is still in with me. We started co sleeping properly when she was about 3 months. My OH ends up on the sofa most nights!!

Going to try some gentle sleep training soon.... I am quite happy to continue having her in with me, my OH is understandably wanting to come back to his bed.

Bee isn't actually sleeping well in bed with me and has never slept the night through but co sleeping is much easier when it comes to feeding.... she only has one feed at night now but up until pretty recently she could feed 3-4 times per night. Or she could feed for ages so having her in with me was the easiest way to feed and get a bit of sleep.

X

 

[littlemonkey]

Interesting to see what people say about this. I've always dreaded Co sleeping due to a fear of having my children in our bed forever more.

 

[russellmuscle]

Snap LM - I am keen to see.

I will buy a co-sleeper for next child however purely for access for feeding not so much to keep as a co-sleeper...

I could be biassed but most of the posts I see on here, ladies that cosleep with their kids can still be sleeping with them right into months old I also remember a time on here if anyone mentioned co sleeping you were basically putting the ultimate risk on your child, but since studies and it has become more out there people are more accepting, funny to see.

For me, I personally could not imagine this! I cant function without sleep so thankfully Jackson slept from 7w. Cosleeping is a nice idea. I am interested to see peoples Pros and Cons

xxxx

 

[BunnyN]

It was the only way I could get ds to sleep for more than 20mins at a time to start with. He just seemed to feel the need to have someone close and he also got cold easily. Once he got to about 4 months he started sleeping fine in his own cot. The weather getting warmer helped. He was a bit slow putting on weight to start with. Once he fattened up a bit it seemed to help too. He is not a bad sleeper. DD on the other hand is an awful sleeper, and always has been. We never co slept with her but now OH gets up and lies down in the living room with her if she is up in the night and I think she is starting to get a bit too used to it.

 

[kumber]

It's quite tricky for us in knowing what to do. He will go down ok in his Moses but he does grumble. Last night I lay him next to me and he was gone instantly. He won't fall sleep unless he's on me or hubby. He has fallen asleep in his bouncer twice and playmat once in nearly 8 weeks. He's quite a clingy baby, he loves cuddles and I think he would benefit from it but I'm also worried he'll end up still being in our bed 6 months+ down the line.

It's interesting hearing thoughts from both co- and non-cosleepers.

 

[Karenb]

I'm co sleeping at 4 months, I love it but my hips kill! Trying to get her into own crib is nightmare but I haven't been very persistent! I had to co sleep to get any sleep in early days!

 

[flisstebbs]

I ended up co-sleeping with Jess as she was terrible and it saved our household and got us through. We got her in a cot about 6 months when she started at nursery and this went ok-ish until 13months when she started climbing out .

I put her in a low double bed in her bedroom at this point (she was walking at around 10 months so by 14 months the bed was ok - she could get in and out of it). This turned out the be the best move we made, as she is still on and off a terrible sleeper, but it means that either me or hubby can scoot in with her if she's having a bad time, and we can back off the moment she's ok again. She hasn't fallen out, and she does come through to our room in the mornings and sometimes in the night, but I don't see this as a major issue, as we just take her back if its the night still. We haven't had any of the yoyo probs just with her being a pickle, only if she's teething or ill.

Using CIO never worked for us, although I did try it on 2 occasions. Jess would cry for a very long time and get herself so worked up she puked all over the bed. Then took 2 hours to calm her down and stop her shaking and whimpering. I completely understand why some people do it, and it seems to work for some kids but clearly not for us! I'm glad we didn't push this route and used the gentler route. Jess is a happy confident little girl who loves her bed and bedroom now. And mostly sleeps pretty well and on her own most of the time. None of the doom and gloom I was given about co-sleeping came true!

With #2 he is so different and much happier to be put down generally. I have a chicco close to me crib co-sleeper cot and this is working out fab as it feels like he is in a little part of our bed, but very safe. I can reach out and rest a hand on him if he's grisly and this settles him no problem. I wish this crib had been about when I had Jess as I think it may have solved the problem but its difficult to know that for sure in retrospect.

Try not to listen to the doom and gloom. I'd go with your gut instinct for what is right for you and your family. It sometimes feels like musical beds in our house at night, but we do whatever gets us all the most/best sleep and we are all happier for it.

 

[Goat]

I co-slept for the first 7 months with my second, it was the only way to get sleep. Did some gentle sleep training and she started sleeping through the night 7-7 in her cot. She's since started waking more due to teething/regressions or whatever but she's now 11 months and has slept very well in her cot for the past 4 months.x

 

[Karenb]

I co-slept for the first 7 months with my second, it was the only way to get sleep. Did some gentle sleep training and she started sleeping through the night 7-7 in her cot. She's since started waking more due to teething/regressions or whatever but she's now 11 months and has slept very well in her cot for the past 4 months.x

What gentle sleep training did you do? Xx

 

[Goat]

I did the pick up/put down method. It's not totally crying free but it's much more gentle than CIO or CC and just as effective but takes a bit longer. Also you don't really ever leave them like you do in CIO or CC.

Here's a link to a site I used: http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=208990.0

Basically the idea is to do the bed time routine then put them down and if they cry, pick them up and reassure them until they stop crying, then put them down again. Then basically repeat this until they fall asleep. The first night it took close to three hours, the next night it was 20 mins then the next night it was a few mins and has been ever since.
Doesn't work for every mum or baby but for us it was the best thing we ever did.

 

[Karenb]

Ah I tried that for one hour one night ha! Obviously need to keep at it!! Do you pick them up when whimpery crying or full on crying?? What if she can't be settled as too upset? Sorry for the questions!!! I had another one but forgot it...

 

[Baby2sky]

Hi hun how did it go? Did you give it a try? X

 

[Goat]

I would leave her if it was like a moany cry where it sounded more whingey than anything but if she was crying properly I would pick her up for a cuddle. It takes longer that way as I know people who would put them down and leave them to cry for a min or two then pick them up and the baby went to sleep much quicker than mine did.
I did try it at around 5 months but it just wouldn't work, she got a bit too upset so I left it until she was 7 months and it worked really well then, she didn't get overly upset and responded well to me reassuring her when I picked her up. I only really did it because she was waking every 45 mins at that point, even when she was co-sleeping.x

 

[MayBMore]

We ended up having 2 double beds same as Fliss, one in my little girls room so we could go in if she was really unsettled and then leave her to it when she was fast asleep. The only issue when she was a bit younger was falling to sleep but once she was off she slept for hours so we could creep out and leave her. She sleeps in her own bed fine now from 8-6am maybe the odd coming in in the morning or very rarely wakes up in the night but soon settles again. I think some babies need the closeness and it's nice telling your baby a story and letting them fall to sleep with you . My new baby doesn't seem to like the cot much at night and I've already started letting her come into bed when my o/h gets up at 6am for a morning sleep. She is feeding all through the night tho and then needs winding, gets hiccups,etc she's 3 weeks in two days so it's early days with her yet....

 

[Karenb]

I would leave her if it was like a moany cry where it sounded more whingey than anything but if she was crying properly I would pick her up for a cuddle. It takes longer that way as I know people who would put them down and leave them to cry for a min or two then pick them up and the baby went to sleep much quicker than mine did.
I did try it at around 5 months but it just wouldn't work, she got a bit too upset so I left it until she was 7 months and it worked really well then, she didn't get overly upset and responded well to me reassuring her when I picked her up. I only really did it because she was waking every 45 mins at that point, even when she was co-sleeping.x

Ohhh my lo is only four months so maybe too early! My neck and back are so stiff this morning I'm in agony! Sophie fed loads last night- possibly sleep regression

 

[Goat]

Oh yeah I would say the sleep regression too, it will pass Hun, in the mean time just think of the weight loss of all that feeding!
Hope you're not in too much pain.x

 

[Karenb]

Haha true, and then I can go mad at Christmas guilt free! ��

 

[Goat]

Haha defo! My eldest was 10 months on her first Christmas and during Christmas week she had a horrible virus and just wanted to feed constantly and didn't want any solids. So even though I ate like an obese pig, I still lost 4lbs during that week thanks to the hourly feeding sessions!

 

[CARNAT22]

Going to try Bee in her cot-bed tonight as she isn't sleep great in bed? I'm not looking forward to it. Cot-bed is attached to our bed though lol.

Slightly off topic but I must be the only mum who hasn't really lost weight from bf'ing?

(I've lost 1.5st but still have the same to lose to be at my happy weight!! I've had to work bloody hard for it as well despite Bee being a boob monster)

X