Classic line on Jeremy Kyle this morning

[sazzylou]

i was in stitches reading some of the quotes on facebook... gotta love Jeremy Kyle.. The one about "dont dash out on my stage like something out of rocky 5!" had me in tears

 

[kazlin]

Jeremy Kyle needs a good spanking...over my knee Mister!

 

[Miss.Monroe]

jezza kyle rocks, simply for the comedy factor... typical Lees off so I havent been able to watch it much this week... wish I had seen this show!!

thats why i watch it, to get a good laugh from it!

that line has to be in some sort of top ten list of stupid things ever said on JK

i liked the show a couple of days back,where all the male guests kept calling JK his 'bruv' and 'bruvva'

JK said 'for the last time im nobodys brother, my brother lives in New Zeland!' hahahaaaaa


(Waving his hands widely in the air sometimes jumping up and down!)

"COOOOONNNNNNNN-TTTTRRRRRRAAAAAAAA-CCCCEEEEEEPPPPPPP-TTTTIIIIIIOOOOONNNNN

'its just another case of kids having kids isnt it'

'You Sir/Madam are below contempt'

this thread has had me in stitches!!!

 

[fuffins1981]

I love this thread soooo much!

Found some more people who love JK

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/show ... b&t=540124

He has such a huge fan base

 

[sazzylou]

he started doing his "will you accept seom advice....from an old man of 42" thing this morning... and he shouted "IM A FATHER OF 42!" at some bloke before a DNA result...he loves chicking his age in there doesnt he? hahah. I loves him.

 

[Melly+2]

Hes a complete nob head, just because he works on telly he feels like he can act like a fucking fuck nut, he needs to get his fooking head from up his ass hole and smell some fresh air as i think the shit has agled his brain cells

 

[Kimbo]

"IM A FATHER OF 42!" .

bloody hell , how many women on the go?

 

[fuffins1981]

he started doing his "will you accept seom advice....from an old man of 42" thing this morning... and he shouted "IM A FATHER OF 42!" at some bloke before a DNA result...he loves chicking his age in there doesnt he? hahah. I loves him.

As if we believed he may be younger

Since someone mentioned it on here, I nearly pmsl everytime he says 'Put something on the end of it'

I hate when him and Graham sit on the step like good cop, bad cop

And why Graham gives blood test reults for....And liver function info....Thought he was a counsellor?

Nothing beats the 'enforcer' or' interrogator' (or whatever the f*ck his name is on Trisha ) Or the body language expert. I would beat him up if he said i was lying because i scratched my nose

 

[Emma58]

This thread is fab!


Got to watch it every day just for a laugh

JK is a nob though

 

[Minxy]

Anyone watching today?

JK just said 'comprende'. Hilarious

 

[fuffins1981]

I am watching....

I loved (JK shouting in the mans face)

'You are not a father. You can't even spell the word'

What a plonker. Think i would have to hit him if he shouted in my face

 

[Minxy]

What about the woman?

'How can you say I'm not a good mother when she got her GCSEs?!!'


Er, OK then

 

[Miss.Monroe]

What about the woman?

'How can you say I'm not a good mother when she got her GCSEs?!!'


Er, OK then

PMSL

 

[fuffins1981]

What about the woman?

'How can you say I'm not a good mother when she got her GCSEs?!!'


Er, OK then

That made me laugh too. That shows an amazing parent

And when she said to her ex 'The only mistake I made was shouldn't have choosed you'

I wanted to shout 'Chosen' at the tv. They all sounded soooo thick!

 

[foxymum]

this is sooo funny i love JK & watch it every day if i can, in the school hols though i can never hear it so have to sky + it!!!!

today those parents were like sooo thick, sorry but the dad could hardly speak proper

 

[Emma58]

What about the woman?

'How can you say I'm not a good mother when she got her GCSEs?!!'


Er, OK then

I saw it this morning I almost wet my pants when she said that

 

[fuffins1981]

What about the woman?

'How can you say I'm not a good mother when she got her GCSEs?!!'


Er, OK then

I saw it this morning I almost wet my pants when she said that

JK's fast response: There is no question that you are a good mom.

I think there was a question over each person on the stage lol....They all needed help!

The girl said 'My mom has done a great job' - yes, that's why ypu felt the need to ask your loser dad for a bottle of Vodka for your 15th Birthday...Life at home must be that great!

 

[Minxy]

What about the woman?

'How can you say I'm not a good mother when she got her GCSEs?!!'


Er, OK then

That made me laugh too. That shows an amazing parent

And when she said to her ex 'The only mistake I made was shouldn't have choosed you'

I wanted to shout 'Chosen' at the tv. They all sounded soooo thick!

I was screaming then too! Still she did a wonderful job making her daughter the articulate creature she is today.

'My dad was never there for me, like my mum was there for me all the time. Only she's been there for me, Dad you were never there for me'
JK 'What do you want from your dad today?'
'I want him to be there for me, do what dads do, like, be there for their kids and that.

WTF does that even MEAN?? NO GCSE in vocabulary I suspect........

 

[MrsBrightside]

Im sat watching them now on ITV2

I also nearly spat my lunch out when she said she was a good parent cause her daughter had got her GCSE's!!! WOW what an amazing parent!!

Also had to laugh cause hes just done DNA for this lad and lass and he wasnt the dad and she was still sat there saying but I didnt cheat....

JK's response was "well im no biologist but the results are kinda clear!!!

I like it when he says

"lets draw a line in the sand" - - - Classic JK line

oh ya gotta love him!!!

 

[sarafet]

Also had to laugh cause hes just done DNA for this lad and lass and he wasnt the dad and she was still sat there saying but I didnt cheat....

JK's response was "well im no biologist but the results are kinda clear!!!

and the fact that he was getting all stroppy with the guy till the results came out, then when he found out he wasn't the dad - he went backstage and shook his hand - 'let's be the bigger person here mate, we won't rub her face in it!'