Breastfeeding someone else's baby?

[Me, My Girls & I]

Fi noones ganging up! We're upset as you have made flippant comments that have caused upset! You are lucky that your hard work paid off! Some of us weren't quite so fortunate! Want me to take a photo of katies growth chart for you? Show you the 6 weeks that despite being on my breasts every hour for an hour, sometimes more, she didn't gain any weight?! I took fenugreek, I drank ridiculous amounts of horlicks, I did absolutely everything in my power, but I obviously wasn't one of the lucky ones it worked for! I was attempting to express between feeds to try and stimulate my supply more, I wasn't able to get anything! So I tried, I tried really really bloody hard!!


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[evie_smith]

Ladies please she said it was a joke and lighten up she never meant to offend anyone it was just an opinion - every time I come on this forum there is another fucking argument - ad I said before it was a joke - but then everyone turned on the defensive at Fi - try imagining for 1 min how she feels?! I'm not taking side but of someone had just said "I know it's a joke but it is a tad insensitive" you would have properly got a "I'm sorry I offended you but I was just expressing sorry" and it would have probely gone no thurther but everyone just intensely attacked Fi! I'm not standing up for her as I have both formula and breast fed and tried hard all 3 times into expressing and thrush and ext ext it was just a joke and I think this has gone too far I'm off this forum for a few days - nothing personal I just hate the personal attacks all the time not just Fi I'm talking about everyone

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

You don't deserve to have been able to have fed your son over me.

What sort of person says something like that?? I should be able to feed my child because you couldn't??

Honestly! What!

 

[ZMD]

I have to agree with Titch i really don't like the way you speak to people, this isn't the first time i've seen you upset people.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Yes yes it's clearly my fault that you couldn't feed your kids... Obviously I am to blame.

Getting attack for making a lighthearted joke like this is awful. Absolutely awful.

I haven't laid into anyone, accused them of doing anything I have only defended myself and pointed out how ridiculously insensitively and personally I have been attacked!

It is not my fault nor any other who has breastfed their kid that you could not breastfeeding yours.

I made a flippant joke, you didn't like it and have used it as a reason to bully and attack me


Lovely.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I have to agree with Titch i really don't like the way you speak to people, this isn't the first time i've seen you upset people.

User cp,ignore list, add

Problem solved!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Evie, fair enough, she made an ill choiced joke, had that been the be all and end all of what she said, then I think the discussion would be over by now! However, fi being her usual self has come on belittling the rest of us, spouting the usual holier than thou shite and refusing to accept anyone rlse's opinion!

When in fact, if you took your blinkers off for a second fi, you'd realise we actually share the same opinion, that yes, technically breast milk is superior and of a greater nutritional value to babies, however if for what ever reason you can't bf, then why should you lord it over us?! We've all tried bloody hard, you're just fortunate that your efforts paid off, whilst the test of us are left feeling like shit cos you can't get over your superiority complex!


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[Me, My Girls & I]

No one Said you were to blame....


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[titch]

You don't deserve to have been able to have fed your son over me.

What sort of person says something like that?? I should be able to feed my child because you couldn't??

Honestly! What!

what i was trying to say is that there is nothing special about you that meant you suceeded and I failed. I eductated myself, I worked hard, I spent a fortune on a breastpump, I deprived myself of sleep to the point of breaking. I wasnt saying you dont deserve to be able to feed your child at all. I was saying that the only difference between your success and my failure is LUCK. that doesnt mean that you didnt work hard, but you cant assume that if everyone works hard they will succeed. It doesnt work like that.

 

[titch]

Yes yes it's clearly my fault that you couldn't feed your kids... Obviously I am to blame.

Getting attack for making a lighthearted joke like this is awful. Absolutely awful.

I haven't laid into anyone, accused them of doing anything I have only defended myself and pointed out how ridiculously insensitively and personally I have been attacked!

It is not my fault nor any other who has breastfed their kid that you could not breastfeeding yours.

I made a flippant joke, you didn't like it and have used it as a reason to bully and attack me


Lovely.

youre not being bullied, you give as good as, if not more than, you get. You offended people, not intentionally, it happens. But when youre told that youve offended someone, the approprite thing to do, if you have any respect, is to apologise and clarify that you had no intention of hurting people

I swear Fi, socially, youre like a bull in a china shop.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

All I have one is defend myself. I haven't attacked people or acted holier than thou lol

Personally I think it's very difficult for certain members of this forum to accept some folks have strong educated opinions on a topic and therefore find those opinions as attacking when they are not meant to be. I also think those people should stick to writing threads about wether to change their kids bed sheets, or which takeaway they are choosing to have that night as is it all they seem to eat...

End of chat, unsubscribing I refuse to be told I am to blame for someone else not bring able to breastfeed, which I might add, I have never labelled as a failure, that is language only they have used to describe themselves. Which speaks volumes.

 

[titch]

I have to agree with Titch i really don't like the way you speak to people, this isn't the first time i've seen you upset people.

User cp,ignore list, add

Problem solved!

thanks for the tip, Ill be doing that. You drive me mental.

 

[Amyrose]

Hmmm I saw the title of this thread and though it was rather though provoking well done on such a good question. I could never leave my child have that sort of close contact with another woman I am nit to sure how I would feel if you could buy store bought breast milk as that personal attachment is not there.

I have bf all six of mine but have always had to stop through bf problems. I did manage a few months but it was hell. I don't think any mother should be slated for how they choose to feed there baby. Like some ladies have said sometimes that choice is made for you.
Fi I don't think alot of us ladies here get your sense of humour as alot of your jokes have been taken up the wrong way. I think there are better ways of getting a point across then hurting peoples feelings in jest I think your marvellous for feeding your lo against all the odds but you do need to be a little more sensitive to other people feelings as it just causes heated debates and ends up taking from a really good thread.

Back to the op I wonder if for those of us who have bottle fed if not wanting our little ones breast fed by another woman comes from us not doing it ourselves be it through choice or just not being physically able to. How would you feel if breast milk was freely available in stores just like sma and all the other powdered brands? Would you go for this.
Btw my Rose must be a little goat as that's what I fed her because of her skin condition but I honestly would have fed her what ever I needed to if it made her better

 

[knopk@]

As always,there is someone to come and throw a "I breastfed my baby, look at me".

I think its sad that UK has 2nd lowest bf rate in Europe but thank God for formula!

On top of my supply issue, my son has cows milk allergy so he is on prescription formula and he is doing so much better.

I too find it insensitive, I have worked really hard and still mixed feeding being on dairy free diet but without top ups my baby wouldnt be thriving.

On the topic, I wouldnt want anyone bfing my baby, some diseases are passed through milk.

 

[titch]

All I have one is defend myself. I haven't attacked people or acted holier than thou lol

Personally I think it's very difficult for certain members of this forum to accept some folks have strong educated opinions on a topic and therefore find those opinions as attacking when they are not meant to be. I also think those people should stick to writing threads about wether to change their kids bed sheets, or which takeaway they are choosing to have that night as is it all they seem to eat...

End of chat, unsubscribing I refuse to be told I am to blame for someone else not bring able to breastfeed, which I might add, I have never labelled as a failure, that is language only they have used to describe themselves. Which speaks volumes.

1. yes, you do act holier than thou, most of the time
2. I do not accept that you are eduated
3. noone has ever had a problem with you opinion, in fact, there is noone of this thread who has disagreed with the fact that BM is better than formula
4. I dont feel attacked, I feel enraged by ignorance of other peoples feelings when theyre different to your own
5. Niiiiiice! and you are the one BEING bullied right?
6. noone ever blamed you for not being able to BF, where on earth did you get that from?!
7. I know, I do feel like a failure, a lot of mothers do when they have to give formula, thats why your 'joke' was so offensive

I feel like a social skills tutor right now.

 

[titch]

Hmmm I saw the title of this thread and though it was rather though provoking well done on such a good question. I could never leave my child have that sort of close contact with another woman I am nit to sure how I would feel if you could buy store bought breast milk as that personal attachment is not there.

I have bf all six of mine but have always had to stop through bf problems. I did manage a few months but it was hell. I don't think any mother should be slated for how they choose to feed there baby. Like some ladies have said sometimes that choice is made for you.
Fi I don't think alot of us ladies here get your sense of humour as alot of your jokes have been taken up the wrong way. I think there are better ways of getting a point across then hurting peoples feelings in jest I think your marvellous for feeding your lo against all the odds but you do need to be a little more sensitive to other people feelings as it just causes heated debates and ends up taking from a really good thread.

Back to the op I wonder if for those of us who have bottle fed if not wanting our little ones breast fed by another woman comes from us not doing it ourselves be it through choice or just not being physically able to. How would you feel if breast milk was freely available in stores just like sma and all the other powdered brands? Would you go for this.
Btw my Rose must be a little goat as that's what I fed her because of her skin condition but I honestly would have fed her what ever I needed to if it made her better

yes I wouldve bought another womans breast milk to give my son. I googled it for ages actually to see if I could do it. But there are very strict laws around the matter, because of infection control etc... I really wanted to give him breastmilk as there are allergies in my family and i know that wouldve helped him.

I dont think I could actually alow a woman to breast feed my son purely cos it wouldve felt like a proper kick in the stomach and I would be worried about my baby bonding with someone else.

 

[MrsR]

I wasn't going to reply to this as I CHOSE not to bf (oh dear aren't I a terrible mother (sorry that's a joke as I believe it's a mothers choice)) and quite happily drink cows milk myself, give it to DD and DH drinks cows milk too. Just guess we're a bovine family. I can completely see why this has upset people but, at the risk of upsetting more people, I had to giggle at fi's original reply (regarding powdered cows milk being good for powdered baby cows). This is such a string topic, full of highly charged emotions. No one is a failure for not bf (and I am not saying anyone suggested this I just want to reassure people) and is no less of a mother. Whether you bf or bottle feed we're all doing the same thing-feeding our babies, helping them grow and thrive. I don't believe that there's arguments every day on here at all but with emotional subjects such as this it can be expected.
I just want to send to everyone. Fi you've done an amazing job and continue to do so but so are you titch and mmg&i and nobody is suggesting otherwise. I think there's been some wrong wording choices used but that's due to difference in people and speech I think.

Hope I haven't upset anyone with this.

As to OP, as others have said, I could feed my baby expressed breast milk but don't think I could watch someone else feed my baby from their breast. It's too personal for me.


Ignore any mistakes-my iPhone is addicted to autocorrect!

 

[MrsR]

And yes I would have bought someone else's breast milk if it was available despite me choosing not to bf. and actually next time I have a baby I do actually want to at least try bf.


Ignore any mistakes-my iPhone is addicted to autocorrect!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Thanks Helen and Evie, it's nice to know not everyone has suffered a complete sense of humour failure...

For the record I only defended myself as I was told I was lucky for breastfeeding and that I didn't know how hard it could be. I know exactly how hard it is thank you and there are reasons I made the decisions that I did.

It was meant as a joke, I think as two people who have ff have admitted it didn't hurt them to read it, I suggest anyone taking it as a personal attack should look inside themselves as to why they feel that way, before blaming someone else or (worse) telling them that they shouldn't be able to breastfeed because another person couldn't.

 

[titch]

Thanks Helen and Evie, it's nice to know not everyone has suffered a complete sense of humour failure...

For the record I only defended myself as I was told I was lucky for breastfeeding and that I didn't know how hard it could be. I know exactly how hard it is thank you and there are reasons I made the decisions that I did.

It was meant as a joke, I think as two people who have ff have admitted it didn't hurt them to read it, I suggest anyone taking it as a personal attack should look inside themselves as to why they feel that way, before blaming someone else or (worse) telling them that they shouldn't be able to breastfeed because another person couldn't.

this is getting repetitive. Noone sid you dont deserve to BF, noone said youre not allowd to cos someone else did. Read it all again and try to understand this time.

I thought you were unsubscribing.