breast feed or bottle?

[xnicolaxcx]

i didnt really know where 2 ask about this but this seemed the best section.
i have been attending antinatal classes for the last 4 weeks. the last one i went to was about feeding. the midwife asked for people to put there hands up who was planning on breastfeeding. out of about 25 of us...i was the only one planning on bottlefeeding.
the midwife made me feel like i was a bad parent before i have even given birth. saying all the pro's of breastfeeding but no pro's about bottle but instead all cons.
i have chosen to bottle feed as me and the babys dad are no longer together so it seems more convinient. plus i cant say i really want to breastfeed and i imagine you would have to be really commited to it.
now i feel so guilty after i heard all these things she was saying. she made me feel like im going to be feeding my baby crap.
i know midwifes are meant to promote breastfeeding but it seemed asthough she was totally discusted by mothers who bottle feed.
is it really that bad to bottle feed?

 

[trixipaws]

im a breast-feeder and u DO hav 2 be really committed, i love it and am very committed; but there ARE some downsides which would give bottle-feeding its pro's.

with bottles u dont hav 2 do ALL the nite feeds (yawn! im so tired!)

u can see how much ur baby is eating

u can get drunk again!

u can nip out and leave ur baby with ur partner or family without worrying about ur baby getting hungry while u not there

u can feed them in a moving car (we had millie screaming on a motorway coz she was hungry once and i wasnt able 2 feed her without undoing one of our seat-belts, which of course i didnt do as its unsafe! so she had 2 wait, it was heart-breaking)


im sure theres support here from formula feeding mums.

u said u cant say u really wanna breastfeed, so dont! do which is best 4 u

breast feeding is really hard work at first anyway and to succeed u hav 2 really really wanna do it (even then some cant!) theres no point doing all that hard work if u dont really want 2

 

[Gemma & Jake]

This link shows the pros and cons of both breast and bottle feeding. If you really don't want to breastfeed then don't be pressured in to it. Do what you feel is right for you and your baby.
http://www.netmums.com/h/n/BABY/HOME/ALL/279//

 

[Urchin]

This has alway been a very emotive subject, in the real world and on this forum.

There is no denying breast is best, they even have to write it on the cartons of formula, BUT bottle feeding does not make you a bad mother, it will be hard enough being a single mom without having to beat yourself up over that too. If you have already made your mind up, then accept that's what you're going to do and don't doubt yourself. If you are still unsure and may like to try breastfeeding, then we are here to answer all of your questions about it.

 

[emma28]

I'm going to bottle feed and can empathise totally. I find it easier not to mention it Don't feel pressured, its your baby and you feed it how you like. I can't even imagine breastfeedin for 100's of reasons I won't go into, as like Urchin says people get very emotional about it.

You can PM me anytime you wanna speak to another bottle feeder!!

 

[lisa&alex]

i tried last time and failed.. and im determined to do it this time..

breast is best for babies, as its made for them.. but forumla is pretty close to breast milk now..and at the end of the day noone elses opinion matters. its your baby, you decide whats best for the 2 of you. if people have a problem with your choice tell them to mind their own business.. you should feel forces into feeding and you shouldnt feel pressured to do it..as long as you make an informed choice then you have made the right choice.. next time you midwife asks what you a re doing.. tell ehr i have reserched and have decided that formula is best for my situation. and if she tries to persuade you say theres no point you lecturing me. ive made my decision.

 

[Squiglet]

i didnt really know where 2 ask about this but this seemed the best section.
i have been attending antinatal classes for the last 4 weeks. the last one i went to was about feeding. the midwife asked for people to put there hands up who was planning on breastfeeding. out of about 25 of us...i was the only one planning on bottlefeeding.
the midwife made me feel like i was a bad parent before i have even given birth. saying all the pro's of breastfeeding but no pro's about bottle but instead all cons.
i have chosen to bottle feed as me and the babys dad are no longer together so it seems more convinient. plus i cant say i really want to breastfeed and i imagine you would have to be really commited to it.
now i feel so guilty after i heard all these things she was saying. she made me feel like im going to be feeding my baby crap.
i know midwifes are meant to promote breastfeeding but it seemed asthough she was totally discusted by mothers who bottle feed.
is it really that bad to bottle feed?

LOL bad mother... probably makes you a better mother, only because bottle feeding was a complete and utter pain in the bum... !! You have to love your kid to get up at silly hour in the morning and patiently wait for that bottle to warm up with a screaming infant in your arms. Not to mention the washing, sterilising, counting out the scoops (I always lost count then panicked threw the lot away and started again) and I only had to make up the occasional top up feed with Tia, but OMG was it more hassle that it was worth.

You might need to be dedicated to breast feed... but I can assure you it more out of laziness that I chose to do it with Tia...and will do with this one..

That must make me a much less dedicated mother than you...

As for all this, breast is best stuff.. although atm the current research dictates, breast is best there is a lot of scientific research going on atm that is saying that the difference between breast and bottle milk might not be as dramatic as the breast feeding police make out, and that a happy mother makes a happy baby regardless of what milk they are fed... .

I can assure you that out of those 24 mothers who put their hands up...those that will give bfing a try most will give up within 6 weeks after making themselves and their babies very stressed and very upset.

If you want to bottle feed... bottle feed... I'm sure you will be happy and so will your baby and that's what counts... Ignore the midwives... honestly.. Don't let yourself feel less of a mother because you choose to raise your child in a non conventional way... Having a baby is a difficult task as it is... and you don't need "professionals" to constantly tell you that you are wrong, and damaging your baby's health, when it's just not true.
Millions of people have been raised on bottle milk and are fit, healthy adults... others who were breast fed, like myself, have diseases such as Crohn's, so there's no guarantee you're baby will benefit more from bottle or breast, its just luck of the draw...

 

[lisa&alex]

^ you type to much squig.. cba to read it lol

 

[mayday]

Actually Squiglet's post has a lot of good stuff in it. I was bottle fed, as was my husband. I was 20 and he was 19 when we graduated from a redbrick university, with 8 A-levels and 21 GCSE passes between us. I'm an airline pilot, my husband runs his own business as our main income, and we have just set up another business between us. Clearly being bottle fed didn't hamper our prospects.

I am breast feeding though and thb couldn't imagine it any other way. It's weirdly enjoyable, is hugely portable and convenient, it's free, and it uses 500 calories a day, which my bottom is eternally grateful for. It works for me because it is the way I want to lead my life. If you want to lead your life in a way which is slightly different from the advised way, do it! You would benefit from breast feeding, but at the end of the day there are much bigger issues wrt child upbringing to worry about.

HVs and MWs should be there to support mothers, not to question their choices - give them your reasons and don't let them worry you over it.

 

[Minxy]

I'm sorry you were made to feel inadequate

If you've made your decision you can find support and info here, and that obviously goes for all mums and how you feed your children.

Since bottle feeding is covered at all in ante-natal classes I would suggest getting yourself up to speed on sterilising/storing milk etc before the birth. My breasfeeding failed very early and I was at a complete loss about this as I hadn't prepared for it!

 

[Redshoes]

A happy Mummy is what's best, and if you're happy with breast or formula, that's what's best for your LO and you
I do both, and it makes Isaac and I very happy
I think its appaling you were made to feel 'bad', these 'professionals' should learn more about patient/people care, and it's not their place to judge! but to support and advise of all options The MW's at work after I gave birth were all for formula whilst I was all for breast, it saddens and maddens me they can effect pregnant, and new Mummys, so much is their opinion, which is not needed
So many pro's and con's for everything with babies, its always best to go with what works, feels right for you, afterall, you're Mummy

 

[lisa&alex]

ai squigs always got great stuff to post.. i just can never be boethered to read it..(i did later.. lol)

 

[Squiglet]

ai squigs always got great stuff to post.. i just can never be boethered to read it..(i did later.. lol)

I can't do short.. that's why I married my husband

 

[Charm]

I bottle feed my son and I felt exactly the same
But I really didn't want to breastfeed and I can't imagine ever doing it, it's my personal opinion, my body and my child.
My son is thriving, is a perfect weight, and is a very contented baby.
Don't let people make you feel like a bad person

Cx

 

[Snuggle]

I desperately wanted to breastfeed Maddison but she was poorly and it just didnt happen no matter how hard I tried Even though I tried over and over I still felt terrible for failing and still do every day but my baby is happy and healthy on formula and thats all that matters

 

[Rosieroo]

i have chosen to bottle feed as me and the babys dad are no longer together so it seems more convinient.

I'm just wondering why you feel that bottlefeeding is more convienient? With breastfeeding you have the milk there, ready and at the perfect temp. No worries about making up bottles, taking them out with you, warming them up etc. You have to be dedicated either way, a baby takes a lot of dedication from the moment it's born. Bottlefeeding doesn't make you a bad mother and you're not feeding you're child crap just something that is inferior to breastmilk. It's important that you are fully aware of the implications of bottle feeding which is what your midwife is trying to do. Unfortunately the NHS doesn't have enough money to put into advertising of breastfeeding, whilst formula companies have millions of pounds to put into advertise their products (it's due to this advertising that some people wrongly believe that formula is 'as good as or almost as good as breastmilk' when in fact it's completely different). So the one of the only ways the NHS can get the message across is through midwives and Health Visitors, which can seem a bit overwhelming. They aren't allowed to promote bottlefeeding or offer advice on it, which is why they seem so against it. It's easier to give breastfeeding a try and decide to give up than go straight to bottlefeeding and potentially regret your decision.

Either way it's your decision and your baby, just make sure you're totally happy and understand your choice

If you are certain that you want to bottlefeed then you'll probably find it easier to actually contact the formula manufacturers as they all seem to have helplines etc.

 

[mum-2-one]

I choose to bottle feed my son and to be honest felt a bit like you, but it was a decision I made at the start of my pregnancy as I felt bootle feeding was what was best for me. My son is now 7 months old and has never had so much as a sniffle. He slept all night from 6 weeks old and is a happy and content baby. I'm glad I made the choice I did as I agree I feel you have to be very comitted to breast feed expecially during the first few weeks. My DH also enjoyed the time he was able to spend alone with our son. I guess I'm just trying to say do what is best for you cos if you are happy your baby will be happy and at the end of the day thats whats important.

 

[enn]

dont worry i had every intention of breast feeding i did for about 2 days and that was it. just didnt feel right to me and boobs were sore from her latching on wrong so formula ftw. dont let anyone drag u down about not breast feeding your baby. i wish i could of stuck it out but not feeling comfy with it why should i do it?

my mum fed me for a week , then stopped i couldnt even do it for a week. she asid dont worry and dont put yourself down and dont blame yourself. i did but tehn i werent comfy. after seeing that prog otehr day makes me feel better knowing shes getting less crap inside than she would of with breast

btw im saying bottle

 

[Rosieroo]

after seeing that prog otehr day makes me feel better knowing shes getting less crap inside than she would of with breast

What programme was that out of interest?

 

[beanie]

after seeing that prog otehr day makes me feel better knowing shes getting less crap inside than she would of with breast

what programme???