baby number two. am i bananas!?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by lottielou, Jul 28, 2013.

  1. lottielou

    lottielou Well-Known Member

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    Heey ladies. I hope im posting this in an appropriate place.
    It would be great to get some views opinions and what has worked for you regarding having another baby. Im especially interested in views on age gaps. Ever since i had my daughter who is six weeks old now! ! Ive been thinking about having another baby!!. I always said i just wanted my one special bubba. But now if i can have another i would LOVE to.i love been a mum its the most amazing thing ever :). .

    I do have two queries tho. How soon is too soon.!? What sort of gap seems to be good. I want my little ones to have everything i can give them. And im a bit scared of not been able to cope with two because everyobe i know keeps telling me how hard it is. . I feel like i would be able to cope fine with the help of my hubby.

    Also my pregnancy was really hard. We had loads of problems. It was so very very stressful and i was always worried about everything possible. On the positive side the birth was amazing!! OH has said that he would like our little girl to be 1 ish when (if) we would be able to have another lo.
    Has anyone had a good second pregnancy compared to first! ?

    Thanks to anyone who reads. Sorry for the long post!

    Xxxxx
     
  2. Lynds77

    Lynds77 Well-Known Member

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    I think 2 kids is hard whatever the age gap. So just go with whatever feels right for you

    I had wanted 2 under 2 aswell, but so far we are on hold till Oct/November ish. My nearly 10mnth old still doesnt sleep through the night, and my body has started feeling like its aged 20 years! bad back, sore hips etc etc.

    I still have 1 stone of baby weight to lose........ once all those problems are sorted we will be going for it again.

    also our LO had reflux, and was a really bad eater until just recently. I used to have to battle with every bottle with her, and spent most evenings in tears cause my baby hadnt eaten enough yet again. I cant imagine dealing with that whilst being pregnant again!

    so maybe give yourself a bit of time, and see how things develop? x
     
  3. clairebear22

    clairebear22 Well-Known Member

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    My boys are 20.5 months apart, both planned. It is bloody hard work and was hell in the beginning because Harry had colic until he was 7 weeks. He's now 21 weeks and things are settling down. I often thought i should've waited a bit longer to have Harry when he was at his worst in the beginning but i honestly couldn't be without my cheeky monkeys now :)

    I don't think there is ever a right or wrong age gap. It just has to be right for you as a family x
     
  4. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

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    Just think if you felt your pregnancy was hard, would you be able to cope with all of that going on and another child depending on you?

    I had an emergency section with my son and would probably have a planned if I had another. It took me a while to recover and cos of that I'd like my son to be a bit older if we have another. I say if cos I'm 33 now, and if we wait until he's 4/5, I'm worried it won't happen.

    You will just deal with whatever happens though. My mum ended up having twins with her last pregnancy so had 4 kids in 6 years!
     
  5. wifeywifey

    wifeywifey Well-Known Member

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    I have a one year age gap and I will be honest, the first 6 months were very hard but now my youngest is 16 month I love it, they are so much fun. I love it.

    Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk 2
     
  6. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    littlemonkey has a good point hun! I had a wonderful pregnancy but even I'd be concerned about being heavily pregnant when James was still a toddler and needed a lot of picking up and stuff...

    We have to wait until James is 3 as we cannot afford childcare. I guess we can start TTC when he is 2.5??

    I'd initially said NTNP from next summer and actively TTC when he is 2 but we'll push these back I think :shock:

    I want to be preggers again by the time I am 35, so just under two years and we'll be full on going for it...

    I know there are so many ladies in this part of the forum who are preggers again - many with LO's who are currently 1 year and younger! There has been an epidemic lol!

    xxxxxxxx
     
    #6 CARNAT22, Jul 28, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2013
  7. Ella1979

    Ella1979 Well-Known Member

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    There'll be a 21 month gap between my two when our little babba is born in December. The first few weeks of pregnancy this time round were absolute hell as I felt so sick all the time and was really exhausted - but unlike last time when I could just flop about after work and have a lie-in on the weekend, I have to look after my 17 month old who is up at 6.30am and pretty much awake for the entire day before her bedtime at 6pm!

    I've also had problems with aches/pains from lifting her as she's not walking yet. We now have a travel cot downstairs, so hubby brings her downstairs before he goes to work in the morning and I put her to bed in the evening in her travel cot, then hubby takes her upstairs when he gets home.

    I think because our LO was quite an easy baby, despite a tough start (3 weeks in SCBU, 8 days in hospital for me), she's slept through the night since she was about 4 months old and so it's not been a difficult decision to have another baby so soon. Of course the next one could be a complete nightmare! We'll just have to wait and see...
     
  8. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    Hormones... :)

    I loved the pregnancy/labour/birth bit, and my boy is my world, but I'm still in two minds about another.

    I have a friend who fell pregnant with a six week old :/ and another who waited eight years.

    Really small gap - Already in the mindset of looking after a teeny one, already got all the stuff needed, really close in age so will look after each other, will want to do similar things at similar times, not yet used to time alone as one little one's already there 24/7.

    Biiiig gap - Got to really enjoy the whole thing all over again, 8yo been a massive help (like getting stuff when mum's sat with baby), gets time alone with both kids as 8yo's at school/baby goes to bed earlier, can do things with baby whilst 8yo's overnight at friends etc, will be a school apart so no "well this friend likes ME better, blah blah blah".



    Overall, I think it's something that only you and OH can decide on. Either you want one now whilst you're in the rhythm of it, you want to wait and spend time with the one you've got, or you want to do neither, and leave nature to it.

    I definitely think waiting a while is a good idea. I know the first few months I was desperate for another, but the hormones are calming down and reality is setting in a bit now, and I honestly think waiting a while at least is a good idea xx
     
  9. Frankie_Lou

    Frankie_Lou Well-Known Member

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    I'm part of the epidemic lol.
    William has just turned 9 months and I'm 20 weeks preggers already.
    So far it's been a straight forward pregnancy and my only problem has been tiredness but that's partly due to being back at work and not getting home til after midnight a couple of days a week. I'm just hoping I don't end up with sciatica again as that would make things really difficult.
    If its what you want then I'd say to go for it in a couple of months when you've settled in with this LO x
     
  10. lottielou

    lottielou Well-Known Member

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    thanyou so much ladies for your replies!!

    emamay- im sure your right about the hormones!, some days i really think its a brilliant idea and others (especially when i think about how hard the pregnancy was) i am well and truly in the wait a while camp. i still feel so lucky to be in the position i am. ive got this really funny envy of pregnant women. . its probably justr too soon to even think about it. . but thankyou so so much for the imput :) i feel much better and less bananas now !

    carnat i think your age gap and plan seems like a brilliant way to go about it. i just wish i didnt have this mindset at the mo .

    i can see myself being in the same position as you frankie. i think i would be a tad scared but really happy with that age gap :)
    xxxxxx
     
  11. Mum2betash

    Mum2betash Well-Known Member

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    I say go for whatever you fancy- you only live once!! I'm sure it's extremely hard work but well worth it :) and you can get Ll the hard work over and done with too lol. Myself if I have another I wouldn't want to have another until Hannah is 4/5 as I just don't want to miss a second of her growing up. If I could I'd probably wait til she is like a lot older going to secondary school so I can go through all the fun again with a baby and toddle but I think most people would find that too big a gap. Xx
    When I say older like secondary school, I mean when she is bored of me and doesn't want to spend much time with me, I'd miss her and want another to love me as much again. If that makes sense???
     
    #11 Mum2betash, Jul 28, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2013
  12. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    io think if the first is walkingf at least a little by the time you give birth it helps lol, i wanted mine super close but far enough that my 1st can help a little and isnt so so reliant on me so we started TTC when she was 7 months figuring that if we had caught straight away shed be at least 16 months old by the time baby was born so able to move around a bit and feed herself a bit etc. we got a bfp when DD1 was 10 months and there will be 18 months between them when DD2 is born in 7 weeks ish. i cant say its been easy or hard as i have nothing to compare with really, i was so sick with DD1 and tired but this time i either havent been as sick or tired or ive just ignored it cos ive had no choice. ive had to lift my heavy toddler (shes 98th centile and the size of a 2 yr old already) and ive only been able to nap when /if she does and ive just had to get on with it and carry on with baby groups and trips out etc. i think its been fine, i dont feel awful or stressed often or too drained but im a very positive person lol. i'll let you know how hard it is once DD2 arrives and the real work begins :)

    all in all id say it does depend on your current baby, my lg has been walking from 1, is really quick learning speech etc, i can really communicate with her now at 16 months, she will fetch things and help me when asked with simple jobs and is potty training already. shes slept thru the night since early on and has been a total joy since about 12 weeks lol, she teeths and moans and is sometimes hard work but all in all shes an easy baby and a pleasure to care for so i think i will manage a 2nd fine
     
    #12 BevG, Jul 28, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2013
  13. Constantstar

    Constantstar Well-Known Member

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    Im due sept and have a son who will be about 26 months old. I know uts going to be hard now but when I look at the future I see a 2 year age gap as an amazing thing for them. As bevg said it's handy when your older baby xan walk and talk and do things like I say o can u get mummy your shoes or can you get your nappy and wipes and he can do this.and sleeps through the night ( unless he drops his dummy lol) and doesnt have milk any more. Although I think sharing his space, and parents time may be harder. Prob best to get it out way early! X

    mummy to ds 11/7/11
    pregnant *team pink* due 12/9/13
     
  14. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    My LO is 17months, and I'm almost full term!!

    To be brutally honest - I'm exhausted!!!! I had a very easy first pregnancy, but this one is def harder, dunno if its just cos I'm chasing a toddler or what, but I'm sore, I'm tired - and it's not like you can just go for a snooze when you feel like it!

    Sorry if that's harsh, but if you had a difficult first pregnancy it's something that you really need to consider before TTC.

    I want 4 kids, but will def be planning a bigger gap next time!!
     
  15. mrz85

    mrz85 Well-Known Member

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    My littl one is 11 and a half months I am just over 17 weeks with bub 2 x
     

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