Another Scan-Crescent Sac, Advice Needed :(

[KarolinaMoon]

Hi,

I went for the second scan today, and this time the midwife saw a very tiny speck, what she thought could be or have been the fetal pole, or beginnings of a baby. She said it measured about 5 and a half weeks. But she wasnt able to confirm this for definite. In any case, I am meant to be 10 weeks at least. My gestational sac is now a crescent shape and has changed since my scan on Monday, it looks like it is collapsing. The sac measures 3.5cm, the guidelines they go by are a sac of 2cm or less is still possibly ok. It was confirmed for definite today that this pregnancy is not continuing. I still dont know what to do. I have another appointment next wed, but I just wish it would miscarry naturally.
Also, I have continued to go into work all this week, as I wasnt quite sure what was happening, and felt it was best for me to keep going. The midwife was quite shocked I was going into work , she said my emotionally and physically I would be up in the air right now. Can anyone advise on what they did regards work, and taking ttime off, and telling their manager etc? I worry alot about these kind of things, and would quite happily tell as few people as possible.

Any help right now is greatly appreciated, to think so many women go through this, it really is such a horrible experience.

Carolina xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Sorry to hear what you are going through hun,

I have experienced something very similar (back in May)

It took me three weeks to miscarry and during this time I made the decision to carry on working. I would have gone insane had I stayed at home.

I went to EPU with spotting, they were unsure as to whether the pregnnacy would continue so all the could do was see me every week. Each time i ended up having 2 internal scans and I was also seen by the head consultant a few times.

I was told very early on that this pregnancy would not continue but the first few times I was scanned it was still 'there' - so it was a very confusing time. You cannot help but to have hope when you are stil technically pregnant.

It was a very lonely, sad, frustrating time (close family knew what was happening but I only told one person at work!). I was essentiallyw aiting to lose my baby and I found it easier to be distracted by being at work.

I was scared that at any moment I would start gushing blood or that I would be crippled by pains but out bodies are very good at doing what they need to do and I miscarried at home, over night. Everyne is deifferent but it wasn't as gruesome as I expected but it was horrible none the less - very sad and isolating.

The one upside was that I did have a natural M/C and other than a scan to confirm it was complete I never needed any more medical intervention.

I was advised by several different people at the EPU to continue as normal through-out the whole thing. They said that nothing would change the outcome so I was best to get on with things and keep my daily routine in place. I did ask if Ineeded bed rest / time off work etc and they told me catergorically NO.

In hindesight I think I did the right thing for me, sitting at home for three weeks just waiting for the worst to happen would have made me a wreck.

Don't get me wrong it was very hard to go to work, knowing what was happening inside my body. I felt very hormonal, very sad and often buggered fof to the loo's for a little cry. I avoided seeing all my friends and only briefly saw my family during the time it took for M/C to occur as I could not face people. I literally went to work, went home and crawled into bed. However going to work did for the most part work as distraction.

I am sorry to hear what you are going thorugh and I hope you have a quick and natural resolution.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I want to add that I am now a few months down the line and TTC again...

xxxxxxxxx

 

[KarolinaMoon]

Hi,

thanks for sharing your experience...sounds like a horrible time for you, but glad to hear you got through it and are now ttc, fingers crossed for you!!

My work is very demanding, it involves counselling via telephone, giving advise, and people throwing abuse at you sometimes!!! I'm not sure I have done the right thing, but I rang my manager this morning and told her what had happened She was understanding, kinda wanted to get off the phone as I think she felt awkward/didnt know what to say. I feel a bit weird that I have told her. No one else knows apart from my Husband, and I would have been happier to keep it that way. After my appointment yesterday, the midwife told me that sometimes some people get no cramps, no warning that they are about to miscarry and it does literally gush out!!! That shocked me. I really didnt want to be in work in a situation like that. But now that I have told my work, I'm left with a weird feeling that maybe I shouldve just kept going

I have had no bleeding whatsoever, no cramps, no pains, nothing. I am nearing the end of the 1st trimester, and know I don't have any baby, but can't understand as most people have spotting, some kinda blood/discharge. I just hope that something happens soon...

Carolina xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi,

thanks for sharing your experience...sounds like a horrible time for you, but glad to hear you got through it and are now ttc, fingers crossed for you!!

My work is very demanding, it involves counselling via telephone, giving advise, and people throwing abuse at you sometimes!!! I'm not sure I have done the right thing, but I rang my manager this morning and told her what had happened She was understanding, kinda wanted to get off the phone as I think she felt awkward/didnt know what to say. I feel a bit weird that I have told her. No one else knows apart from my Husband, and I would have been happier to keep it that way. After my appointment yesterday, the midwife told me that sometimes some people get no cramps, no warning that they are about to miscarry and it does literally gush out!!! That shocked me. I really didnt want to be in work in a situation like that. But now that I have told my work, I'm left with a weird feeling that maybe I shouldve just kept going

I have had no bleeding whatsoever, no cramps, no pains, nothing. I am nearing the end of the 1st trimester, and know I don't have any baby, but can't understand as most people have spotting, some kinda blood/discharge. I just hope that something happens soon...

Carolina xxx

Well at least the work aspect is sorted now hey? That is one less thing to worry about.

How were things left with your MW?

I assume that if nothing happens naturally they may need to treat you?

I am not sure the MW was right telling you horror stories about gushing blood - I know it can happen like that (S-I-L had a sudden M/C a while back which was pretty gruesome) BUT it wasn't as bad as it sounded - if that makes sense? Obviously any blood when you a =re pregnant is a worry so significant blood is terryfying but it's not like uncontrollable, continuous pouring blood (I am sorry TMI)

I am sorry that you are having to go through this and I wish you well darling!

keep strong

xxxxxx

 

[KarolinaMoon]

Thanks...Just would rather work didnt know at all tbh, but as you say, at least I can take this time off and they know I am genuine in my reasons!!
I think the MW was just being very honest, she was very nice, but I think she just wanted to give me all the possibilities. I had a termination 10 years ago (early on), by operation and no general anaesthetic, so I have unfortunately experience of this, the bleeding afterwards wasnt bad then....but really it isnt the bleeding that concerns me, I would rather avoid another operation if at all possible
I'm going back to MW next wed, and will decide then what to do....this can't go on forever xxxx

 

[ourlovebump]

After reading this, I am pretty convinced that's what's been happening to me for the last 3 days! I've been 'gushing' blood out (a lot!) periodically, but somehow the bleeding stops during the day, but then on the way home on the tube in the evening, it comes in heavy flows with clots. I am now terrified, I find it so distressing, and I most certainly do not want to see 'the fetus' passing....I cannot see horror films, because of the blood, I don't know how I am going to handle this!
I don't really feel pregnant any more, even the boobs stopped feeling sore, I am an emotional mess, and hubby is driving me nuts with his preaching of 'oh baby, but just be positive' where all this is happening to ME and I feel he just wants this baby too much so he disregards the warning signs and says I am over-exaggerating everything! I'm such a mess

I really don't think I can handle seeing all this blood passing and 'the fetus', I am not heartless, but it is making me feel faint, just thinking about it xxx

I am terribly sorry for the rant ((

 

[KarolinaMoon]

Hey OLB....
Sorry to hear what you are going through How far along are you? I havent experienced bleeding yet, but from what the midwife told me it can be pretty horrendous for some people. But natural is always the best way, & the bleeding will subside. If the bleeding does get really heavy or unbearable, you should go to the hospital so they can keep an eye on you. It is soooo difficult for both of you, men deal with it all differently, they tend to hide their feelings and absorb themselves in work, tv etc.... when we found out on Monday at the first scan, my partner and I had a bit of 'misunderstanding' over the following few days, he is really down about it, and has admitted to feeling helpless. Men like to be in control and beable to do something to fix a situation, but in these cases it is so difficult for them.

Your hubby prob just doesn't know what to say/do . From what you have said, it sounds like he isn't fully aware of what is happening, maybe in denial a bit.

I hope the bleeding subsides for you soon, maybe take time off work while this is going on? be easy on yourself xxx