angry and upset

[nmf1987]

well as you all know the witch arrived yesterday.

got abit snappy with oh and wasn't going to say anything but decided to tell him. he didn't say alot.

then when i bought it up today he said that maybe it wasn't the best time as his work at the minute isn't very stable and maybe it's better when he knows it's all going to be ok.

i told him that i don't know of one person that is ever financially ready for a baby but they cope. he said he isn't saying he doesn't want a baby as he does but isn't sure whether we should wait for the money to get better.

i am currently having to manage the bills on my own to get through and we are struggling but coping well enough. i just keep saying things can only get better.

i'm so worried as it's taken this long with nothing. i can't risk taking the pill again and having to go through all of this upset again.

sorry for the rant.needed to talk to people that can understand.

nadia xxxx

 

[clem]

Sorry, writing and running but didnt want to not reply. My OH says that occasionally. We run our own business and neither of us can really see how it would work with a baby.

You are right, there is always a reason not to, and there is never a good time. You just have to do what feels right xxx

 

[KatieB]

Aw hun sorry you aren't feeling great. I know it'll sound like a cliche but men always think with their heads and us girlies with our hearts. An emotional need is more for a woman, its what pulls and drives us but men are too logical and only see a means and an end or a problem and a solution. Try not to let it get in the way of your relationship so that opinions become an issue (easier said than done!) and hopefully you'll feel a bit more happy in a few days xx

 

[nmf1987]

i know. he is running his dads business and is so stressed as it isn't going too well at the minute.

i wish he wouldn't worry so much as i'm sure if i just told him i was pregnant he would be over the moon. he would still worry about money but the fact that there is already a baby it would be different.

xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

There really never is a right and good time moneywise to have a baby. We are in a better position now than when we had our first unplanned baby , but the amount of money eanch month is about the same as then. To have enougth money to pay for a baby, you would be waiting 10 lifetimes! Go for it, next month X

Maybee he said that about waiting till money was better to make you feel better about AF arriving, and that you can take your time to take pressure off you, Men really don't know quite how to say the right thing in the right way sometimes! There may have been alot of thought behind his statement.

 

[MrsR]

It is a worry for alot of people but I've always said if you wait around to 'have enough money to have a baby' then you'll never have one because you'll find a million other things to spend the money on! When you're pregnant the money you thought you didn't have appears because you're saving it by cutting down on less important stuff if that makes sense? x we're not in the best financial position but we have enough money to eat, pay bills and save up for DD's birthday and baby x no we might not go on far flung holidays or go out every weekend but we're perfectly happy not to do so x good luck babe x

 

[JJ Mum]

Well said Helen - oh and what's going out?

 

[toni64539]

9 months of pregnancy too when it does happen, bit more time to sort things, not like it's going to be born tommorow. Plus it's when they're older that they really start to cost a bomb. You will find the money. People always do x

 

[nmf1987]

thanks girls.
yeah helen whats going out? we dont go out anyway. we are happy to stay in and spend time together.

he has come up with ideas like selling my car as the payments are 170 quid and petrol is 200 a month etc. that way i can get something cheaper and cut down outgoings that way. will be hard to see my car go as its sad as its only a golf but its the car i always said at school to my friends that i wanted. although to have a baby is so much better. i reached that goal now to reach my biggest.

xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

 

[Mrs_B]

Sorry to hear what has been going on. Glad to see you have been able to compromise.