so upset with OH

[dina.marie]

ive finally realised that my cycles are shorter and im ov earlier hence why we've missed the egg the past few months. so i was chuffed when i got some ov sticks so i could test when i was ovulating and catch it this month. i worked out that i would be fertile this weekend, and then i used the ov sticks yesterday i got strong lines (not quite as strong as the control but strong enough that i took as a positive) i also felt some twinges so i knew i was ovulating yesterday.

i made comments to OH all day long that i was ovulating and told OH to get ready for a good BD session, was really excited about it all. anyway last night he decided that going to sleep was more important than making a baby and he completely blew me off, but said we would BD this morning. well that never happened, he decided that he was running late to see a friend and didnt have time for it. WTF. i havent done another ov test but im sure i ov yesterday. so we've completely missed the egg now. i cant believe hes done this. he knows how important it is to me, i just thought it was as important to him to. im so fucking angry and upset with him. hes to another long fucking month. sorry im so angry.

 

[lfc_sarah]

Hes not just a baby making machine hun

Dont make him feel like one

 

[xxsammyxx]

I know how you feel Dina... when i was in Holland and knew i was coming back but OH wasnt, it as bad enough. Then i realised I would be OV'ing Monday (i always get positives on CD13 so OV on CD14) and i was coming back the Saturday before. I told OH and i was a bit upset. I explained how hard it is when you count the days to OV then count the days in the 2WW and so on... every OV build up is crucial to us having tried for so long. Luckily he knows how much this means to us and he flew back for the 3 day period covering OV so he could be with me. I felt a bit guilty and its set us back 150€ as he has to go back Tuesday but hey thats life! I can totally understand how you feel. OH knows this is important and so what if he is running late for a friend, a "quickie" would only take 5-10 mins of his time and then he could have buggered off I would be seriously pissed off as well hun.

 

[dina.marie]

thats exactly what i mean, 10 mins of his time is no biggie. im so angry it was his idea to have kids in the first place and now its ME who is going crazy over counting cycle days and CM and pissing on bloody OPKs.

ive just read someone elses thread about a positive opk meaning ur gonna ov in 12-36 hrs, maybe i havent missed the egg then? im still so annoyed though.

 

[dina.marie]

i feel a little bit guilty now, done another OPK and its def positive, and i have EWCM. so fingers crossed i havent missed the egg like i thought i had so im not quite so angry now. but come on OH pull ur finger out!!!!!! do u think hes just being a bloke and not realising that ttc is an exact science??lol.

ttc is sending me loopy

 

[HollyHobby]

Dina i think for next month be a bit more discrete about it with him. It's not easy for men to just get it up - at least we can fake it, sound like a bit too much pressure put on him.
don't let it send him loopy too, just try and relax about it all it'll happen when its meant to.

 

[ejjie]

Hes not just a baby making machine hun

Dont make him feel like one

Hi Dina.Marie

Sarah's right and it's really hard to avoid doing this but you do have 12-36 hours to catch it so I reckon you're best to not say anything when he gets home. If he thinks you've missed it and you get all sexy with him he will appreciate it way more and be none the wiser!!! Ha ha...

We do have patches where we have more bedroom action now (when I think I might be OV) but I always try to keep it a secret and I'm way more open to morning BD now which he's nearly always happy about!!! It's hard to keep the mystery but it is way better for your relationship

Jump him later!

xxxxxx

 

[Anna23]

glad to see your getting on well with the ov sticks i'm happy to send more if you want i have a few more with regards to oh if my oh did that to me i'd literly WAKE him up doing rude things to him i wouldn't let him get away with it (i'm like a bloke when it comes to bding want it all the time) oh and i wouldn't tell him that i'd oving however make sure you get some bding tonight that way i'm sure you'll have a good chance of catching that eggie good luck and i hope you do catch it

 

[A&J]

I can not really add anything that has not already been said but as far as I know... (someone please correct me if I am wrong)...You ov 12-24 hours after you get a positive on an opk so if I was you I would try and get bding today and tommorrow just incase you have not ov yet.

 

[rusks]

i understand your frustration i really do but best not to talk about OV and ttc around your hubby you don't want him to think he is being used.

Me and my hunny made a pact we don't talk about ttc and i don't tell him when i'm ovulating its pretty obvious cos i jump on him a lot in a week but it seems to help and try and make an effort for it not to be a baby making excercise try to make a baby with some love and romance. The stress of it all can't help those lil spermies on there way

 

[ejjie]

:The stress of it all can't help those lil spermies on there way

Yeah I can imagine the little blighters freaking out with all the pressure and swimming the wrong way!!!!

Don't feel alone though Dina.Marie, my and DH have had a couple of conversations when he's worked out what I'm up to and it's not the most romantic thing ever!

 

[scones]

I have a strong feeling I caught this month (well this last cycle) by BDing after ov, as it was a few days past the middle of the cycle when we bd, so dont give up all hope yet hun. Like the others said, keep to yourself when u are OVing as he might feel the pressure, dont want stressed spermies do you!!!

 

[LittleLambe]

I don't think there is anything wrong with talking with OH about ov. My DH always knew when I was ov, as far as I am concerened we are a team, and we both want the same thing. Some times we made a big effort other times it was just a quick hop on, hop off!! Why should it always be down to us to do all the seducing??

 

[dina.marie]

I don't think there is anything wrong with talking with OH about ov. My DH always knew when I was ov, as far as I am concerened we are a team, and we both want the same thing. Some times we made a big effort other times it was just a quick hop on, hop off!! Why should it always be down to us to do all the seducing??

i totally agree hun! thank god atleast someone feels the same as me. i think concieving is a joint effort, why should the onus just fall on us? i think OH is just alot more laid back than me, but still wants it as much. anyway im sure im def ovulating today so he's getting some whether he likes it or not tonight

 

[ejjie]

I don't think there is anything wrong with talking with OH about ov. My DH always knew when I was ov, as far as I am concerened we are a team, and we both want the same thing. Some times we made a big effort other times it was just a quick hop on, hop off!! Why should it always be down to us to do all the seducing??

i totally agree hun! thank god atleast someone feels the same as me. i think concieving is a joint effort, why should the onus just fall on us? i think OH is just alot more laid back than me, but still wants it as much. anyway im sure im def ovulating today so he's getting some whether he likes it or not tonight

Actually I do agree with you two on this. It's a tough one because I'm more 'I want it now' whereas my DH is willing to let time take it's course. I suppose that's why I feel like I don't want to push him on it... Maybe he'll be as broody as me in time! I reckon it depends on your relationship/time trying etc

 

[Jade89]

my OH does the same it's rediculous how much we do it seing as we are ttc and he wants it just as much as me!

man thing lol

 

[Anna23]

i was quite fortunate i'd tell Mat when i thought we were oving and every time after bding he'd get me a firm pillow and remind me to put it under my bum and he remined me to take the magic madicine and pre natal tabs he still reminds me to take my tabs (even when i was on antibiotics) and makes a point to be activly involved which i think he sweet

 

[Charlie5]

Def a man thing. I feel for you I really do.

I made the mistake 1st month of TCC to tell DH when I had a pos OPK (I was just so excited!) and assumed he would be too. I was told it was not very romantic and he is not a baby machine - whoops! He too refused to BD after that and I missed 1st OV. So now I have learnt not to tell DH when I OV and even that I am doing tests - though I suspect he knows.

Anyway after all that said, yesterday he said he wants to know when I OV so we can BD as he really really wants a baby. Typical MAN! I give up!!

 

[andreaaa]

I completely agree that it shouldn't be down to women to have all the stress of TTC. Reading this yesterday actually upset me because I have always felt that it should be a joint effort, and I can't believe so many men want it so easy for themselves! My DH wants a baby as much as I do, if not more so it is jointly his responsibility to make sure his little guys get to the egg.

We discussed this yesterday afternoon and I suggested that we should spice things up a bit. So last night we went to bed early and kissed lots, much more than we have in a long time and it was fantastic! So great in fact that last night we had possibly the best sex ever and that was with us both knowing that last night was probably our last shot for this month, so the pressure was still on but we handled it differently and it worked

I know how you feel dina.marie

 

[Melly+2]

My oh was exactlty the same, he never wanted to bd when i was ov so in the end i didnt tell him when i was and just sugested we get naughty. He used to tell me that he felt the only reason i wanted to sleep with him was for making a baby, which wasnt true, i think sometimes it becomes a bit clinical and oh's can feel too pressured, mine was the same deffo