Steph26
Active Member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2016
- Messages
- 33
- Reaction score
- 1
Hi All
I have comee on here because I don't really know how to talk to my husband about it, or to any of my close friends or family. I can't speak to my husband because I don't want to make him feel bad, and I can't tell anyone else because I'm embarrassed and worried and don't know what to do or say or hope I'll cope with their reactions.
Basically, my husband and I have been married for nearly 4 years and together for 8, We have a gorgeous 18 month old daughter called Evie, who is a proper handful, we have our own house and both work good jobs. Money has never previously been an issue. Up until a couple of years ago when my husband told me he had gambled and lost a lot of money (Thousands). Due to us being incredibly fortunate it didn't impact us too much at the time. I suggested he go to a Gamblers Annoynmous group etc but that never materialised and he assured me he wouldn't gamble again. I went through a stage of checking our finances online to make sure he wasn't relapsing bbut I didn't really know how to handle it. My husband is generally amazing, and has always been fantastic in every other aspec, he was so guilty and upset and down after admitting what he had done to me I couldn't find it in my heart to be mad and instead said it'd be fine, and let's draw a line under it.
He relapsed and gambled some more a few months after and my reaction was the same.
Then in 2017, we had our daughter who we adore, and although I struggled initially with a touch of PND, and anxiety, we were getting on well. My husband was incredibly supportive and was a fantastic dad from the beginning, so hands on and loving it was lbeautiful to see.
In December I found out I was pregnant with our second child who is due August 2019 which we were delighted by.
He then admitted recently to me that he had gambled again and lost more money - this time in the hundreds and that he would now go to Gamblers Annonymous- something he admitted he had never wanted to go to before because it would have meant finally confronting the issue.
He has since been so down and anxious over the latest episode that I had to convince him to go to the Doctors as he was having panic attacks, and he was signed off work for two weeks.
I knew that I had been pretty awful to be around with my anxiety and PND and he had picked up a lot of the slack, and didn't feel it fair to blame him for what is essentially an illness. I have however told him if he doesn't take real steps to try and get this sorted, I'm not going to be so understanding next time.
Money is now so tight, He has gotten annoyed when I have mentioned buying our daughter a few new tops and trousers (For necessity rather than anything else) I recently had my insurance company pay me out for my phone due to damage and as I have an old phone, have given the cash for household expenses whilst things are tight but that doesn't seem to have helped or helped ease his worry.
More than anything I hate and resent how depressed the gambling has made him. I am exhausted with my pregnancy, I am diabetic and had a hypo episode the other week, with a seizure and the ambulance were called and a trip to A & E...Luckily everything is fine but I am still awaiting my 12 week scan and I am so scared that something is wrong with the baby, I feel so guilty and sad that we have not as focused or as joyous at the news as were with my daughter.
My husband and I keep arguing and I keep snapping and I just don't know what to do. I don't mean to snap or be unfair or to throw things in his face but I hate how things are just wish we were happy again.
It doesn't help that my daughter is ill at the moment and crying a lot, and she seems to always her daddy or her nanny but always pushes me away or tells me No...and only seems to settle for my husband. Just feel kind of left out
Sorry for the rant, just needed somewhere to vent to before I explode.....
Hope you all are well xx
I have comee on here because I don't really know how to talk to my husband about it, or to any of my close friends or family. I can't speak to my husband because I don't want to make him feel bad, and I can't tell anyone else because I'm embarrassed and worried and don't know what to do or say or hope I'll cope with their reactions.
Basically, my husband and I have been married for nearly 4 years and together for 8, We have a gorgeous 18 month old daughter called Evie, who is a proper handful, we have our own house and both work good jobs. Money has never previously been an issue. Up until a couple of years ago when my husband told me he had gambled and lost a lot of money (Thousands). Due to us being incredibly fortunate it didn't impact us too much at the time. I suggested he go to a Gamblers Annoynmous group etc but that never materialised and he assured me he wouldn't gamble again. I went through a stage of checking our finances online to make sure he wasn't relapsing bbut I didn't really know how to handle it. My husband is generally amazing, and has always been fantastic in every other aspec, he was so guilty and upset and down after admitting what he had done to me I couldn't find it in my heart to be mad and instead said it'd be fine, and let's draw a line under it.
He relapsed and gambled some more a few months after and my reaction was the same.
Then in 2017, we had our daughter who we adore, and although I struggled initially with a touch of PND, and anxiety, we were getting on well. My husband was incredibly supportive and was a fantastic dad from the beginning, so hands on and loving it was lbeautiful to see.
In December I found out I was pregnant with our second child who is due August 2019 which we were delighted by.
He then admitted recently to me that he had gambled again and lost more money - this time in the hundreds and that he would now go to Gamblers Annonymous- something he admitted he had never wanted to go to before because it would have meant finally confronting the issue.
He has since been so down and anxious over the latest episode that I had to convince him to go to the Doctors as he was having panic attacks, and he was signed off work for two weeks.
I knew that I had been pretty awful to be around with my anxiety and PND and he had picked up a lot of the slack, and didn't feel it fair to blame him for what is essentially an illness. I have however told him if he doesn't take real steps to try and get this sorted, I'm not going to be so understanding next time.
Money is now so tight, He has gotten annoyed when I have mentioned buying our daughter a few new tops and trousers (For necessity rather than anything else) I recently had my insurance company pay me out for my phone due to damage and as I have an old phone, have given the cash for household expenses whilst things are tight but that doesn't seem to have helped or helped ease his worry.
More than anything I hate and resent how depressed the gambling has made him. I am exhausted with my pregnancy, I am diabetic and had a hypo episode the other week, with a seizure and the ambulance were called and a trip to A & E...Luckily everything is fine but I am still awaiting my 12 week scan and I am so scared that something is wrong with the baby, I feel so guilty and sad that we have not as focused or as joyous at the news as were with my daughter.
My husband and I keep arguing and I keep snapping and I just don't know what to do. I don't mean to snap or be unfair or to throw things in his face but I hate how things are just wish we were happy again.
It doesn't help that my daughter is ill at the moment and crying a lot, and she seems to always her daddy or her nanny but always pushes me away or tells me No...and only seems to settle for my husband. Just feel kind of left out
Sorry for the rant, just needed somewhere to vent to before I explode.....
Hope you all are well xx
