Your thoughts on age gaps please?

[ams25]

HI girls

Just after a few different opinions and experiences please!

I'm pregnant with my 2nd child, and there will be almost exactly a 3 year gap between my first and second children. Obviously I haven't experienced it yet so I may be completely wrong but I think it sounds like a nice easy (ha!) age gap, I.e. DS1 is potty trained, sleeps through the night, old enough to entertain himself for very short periods of time while I change nappies etc. The downside I think is going to be that he might feel quite jealous as he's old enough to understand that the baby is taking attention away from him, but not old enough to understand why! But I'm hoping we can work through this and will try extra hard to give him one to one attention and make him feel included.

Anyway, I am already thinking about having a 3rd child, which is ridiculous I know when I've not even had number 2 yet lol. But I am just debating different age gaps in my head and wordering if we were going to have a 3rd child, would it be better do do this fairly quickly and have a 18-month to 2-year gap between numbar 2 and 3 maybe (DS1 would be 5), or wait a bit longer?

My main reasons for wanting a third fairly quickly is that I find the newborn stage and sleepless nights difficult. Give me a toddler any day! The thought of getting DC1 and DC2 through the baby stage then having to start all over again fills me with dread, I think it would be difficult to have a big gap and be used to older children then go back to babyhood. Ive also had issues with dodgy smear tests so although I'm only 28, I've always felt I may not have time on my side for having children as having treatment on your cervix can affect future pregnancies, carryingto term etc. Plus my OH is 39 and he doesn't really want to be running around after toddlers into his late 40's!

My main fear about having a third quickly is that it would be extremely difficult having 3 kids under 5! Am I crazy for even considering it? Do any of you have smaller gaps and /or 3 young children?

I realise I might feel totally different after DS2 is born anyway, I might change my mind completely and not even want a third! It took me until DS1'S 2nd birthday to even entertain the Idea of pregnancy again, it would have filled me with horror to do it any earlier! So that may well happen again! But I'm really interested to hear of people's experiences with different gaps, so I am prepared for every eventuality!

Thanks xx

 

[girly2007]

Really interested in the response to this! Xx

 

[cers123]

My first is 21 months and will be 22 months when this little one is due.

I dnt know how hard it will be when babies here but the pregnancy has been hard I was quite sick and my little boy finds it hard that i cnt do as much anymore.

Although i like u have been thinking about the 3rd baby and i will waiy until this littleone is 3 and get pregnant or maybe get pregnant when they r 2 and a half.

Ur right in thinking get it out of the way esp when u know u want another baby anyways.

As for jealousy i dnt think it matters about age theu will naturally get jealous but just doing little things to help the jealousy will help uxx

 

[babyslog]

Im not even pregnant with baby no2 yet..

But im aiming for 2.5/3yr gap..and i so want a 3rd..
And again would want a 2.5/3 yr gap.. Maybe a 4yr but this is down to saving for a mortgage.we r currently in a 2bed.. So would obviously need and want to be moved into a 3 bed by the time i ttc no3..


Xx

 

[littlemonkey]

Our son is two and our second is due in three weeks. I honestly can't comment on what it's like just yet, although pregnancy with a toddler has been a lot harder! It's one of those things though, you can only really decide whats best for you. I always wanted two close together because I wanted them baby stages all out the way together. If we had waited any longer we would have gotten too used to life with just one and would have been reluctant to have a second. We're both in our mid 30s and honestly I wouldn't want to be pregnant any later than I am now.

There are six years between me and all my siblings. I'm in the middle, there's three years between my brother and I, then three years between my sisters and I. My parents ended up with twins with their third pregnancy, so ended up with four kids six and under. I honestly can't remember any different. I'm close to all my siblings and we've always had a good relationship.

 

[babyslog]

Thats true.. Im one of 7..
(But 1 of 4 that i lived with(same mum) - dads been married 3 times lol)

The age gaps are 2.5yrs between me and my older brother, 12ms and a few days between me and my younger sister & 3yrs between her and my younger brother.

We were all very close and still are now but my mum did say it was fairy challenging! Spesh with how close my sister and I are in age xx

 

[Sm1lerno1]

Well I have 5, there ages are 15, 9, 3, 2, 1

And I'm due in 5wks....my youngest was 1 this month.

I had a 5yr age gap with first two. It was great, one was at school so could focus all my time and attention on the newbie all day. She could also help out with small things.

Then a gap of 6yrs between number 2 and 3. Again it was okay. One starting high school, one at primary school, and that time to spend with baby again.

Age gap between 3 and 4 was 14months. Had only just stopped breast feeding one and then had to start with another. Was up through the night with both. Managed okay though.

Age gap between 4 and 5 was 13months. Making 3 children within 27month. It was harder because they all needed attention, and different levels of attention. Going to the loo was a rush job as I was scared of leaving the baby with them, even for a few mins.

Even now I get stressed as they are at that testing age!

My youngest was one this month and new one due in 5wks, so another 13month gap. That will be 4 children age 3 and under.

I'm still sane lol. All children were planned. It is damn hard work. I've just gave up work because I can't afford childcare, but to be honest I'd rather be with the children.
My 3yr old should be getting a nursery place soon as she starts school next year, she needs it!

I liked the gaps I had, but I also like having the children close in age too. I guess it comes down to what you want. I'm 35 now, and I think after this one I have to say no more, not because I don't want anymore, but pregnancy and me don't get on anymore.

If its what you want, go for it. You adapt, you don't have a choice lol but you do cope. I've not had many 'bad' days at all.

I am also very lucky that I have a great partner, without him it would be a different story.

 

[Rooster30]

My son is 2.5 today and I'm due to pop anytime now. Not sure how any of us will cope. I'm feeling really anxious how he'll react to it all. He's a chatty, but demanding kiddo as it is so when this baby takes mummy and daddy's attention I'm really not sure how he'll feel about it.

Hopefully I can report back in a week saying all is fabulous!

 

[hayes]

Hi hun, I will have 20months barely between this one n Harry when this one comes along in Sept!! But we took two yrs to fall with Harry so didn't expect it to happen in 2months this time. Having said that we did discuss when Harry was little having two together as I am happy to carry on with bottles n nappies etc I didn't want to get out of it n then go back to it all.

I think everyone is different tho our ages me 33n hubby 35 this yr n our money factor(hubby has a good job)ment we didn't have to wait fir Harry to get funding as I know some people have to.

I know if course it's guna b a challenge n I think that will happen esp the jealousy at any age but as u said setting aside time fir him on his own even if it's a story /game when babies sleeping will help. I also personally think getting the involved with baby as much as poss helps when they r older. I'm sure they will form a fab bond n b friends for life.

As for a third for me it's no way I'm defo having no more. I'm done with pregnancy!!!! But my mum had all 3 of us under 5 n said she loved it even tho it was hard.

Michelle.x

 

[xjdx]

I've had three children in 5 years. So I had a newborn, 2.5 year old then a 5 year old. I've always had them out of nappies before I've had another. I found this an ok age gap. It's this time I'm freaking out about with my fourth because my youngest will be four in September, she misses out on school so I will still have her at home with me. But I'm due in August and feel it's a huge age gap x

 

[Emily0505]

We are currently ttc number two.

My lil man will be 3 and half at least before our next one as his birthday is in August.

I think this will be a good gap as he can amuse himself for short periods etc but I hope he doesn't get too jealous of baby.

XX

 

[Baby2sky]

There will be 2years 8 months between my children. I've found this quite hard (baby wasnt planned) . my daughter is very advanced for her age but I still think she is so young to have to "share" us. I still see her as a baby. Also terrible 2s haven't helped as she demands a lot of attention and I've been exhausted this pregnancy. I definitely wouldn't have wanted any smaller gap, and would have preferred my daughter to be at school by the time second one was due but oh well.

 

[Emerald rose]

I have 3 years between my 1st and 2nd. My son was really helpful when his sister was born he always wanted to help with anything he could.
they are really close aswell of course they argue like any brother and sister but they would also do anything for each other.

 

[Goat]

I have a 21 month gap and it's had its tough moments but on the whole it's ben fine even though my toddler is stil in nappies. I had a tough 2nd pregnancy but it's all forgotten now. We're planning to ttc no.3 next summer in the view that it will be born in spring time and that coming Sept my eldest will be starting school and youngest pre-school for 2 days a week. So they'll be 4.3 and 2.8 when born, I'll have them all at home for the spring summer then some sanity from Sept.
Though I love the chaos and always wanted 4, I think the 3rd will be our last.x

 

[OMGbabyno3]

Hi,

There's a 14 month gap between DD1 and 2, which is great. First kne wasn't jealous, and was as if they had always been 2. They are best of friends now, and absolutely adore each other...and play all day so amuse themselves a lot!

DD3 is now 8 weeks, so there's almost exactly 5 years between first and third, and nearly 4 years between 2 and 3.

This was a great time for her to come along, the oldet two are at school all day so can focus on baby and they are besotted with their baby sister...always helping out.

I did always say that when first two are at school, I wanted two more close together. Would be nice for this one to have a sibling close in age to her.

OH and I are thinking about it, lol

I don't think the "perfect" age gap exists. What's perfect for one, won't be for another. You'll make it work whatever you decide.

xx

 

[Mrs M]

My age gap is just short of 2 and a half years and it was too small. I suffered terribly with confidence issues, so we're due to start TTC baby no 3 next month, and DS is also 3 next month, so our gap will be nearer to 4 this time round. I'm quite happy with that!

 

[Louise2013]

I will have 15-16 months between my first and second, due in August. Am hoping it will be good as my first will never really have the 'jealousy' factor as he is too young to really be aware at the moment, and that they will grow up close. Am slightly anxious as I think two under 18 months will be a tough slog for the first six months at least, but am hoping it will settle into loveliness soon enough! I feel close enough to having just gone through the newborn phase with my LO that I haven't 'forgotten' how tough it is but that once we've ridden the early days through things will settle; hubby is adamant two children is it so I am just happy with whatever I am blessed with xxx

 

[flopsybunny]

There's 18 months between my two. I liked it. It was tiring but they are such good little pals and I know my DD will never remember being without her little brother. They adore each other. I found DD a little slower to potty train than other toddlers her age but not sure if that is anything to do with having her brother still in nappies and her wanting to wear them or if it was just her. I didn't pressure her, all in good time.

For me, 18 months is a lovely gap

 

[Lulu90]

I'm a ftm, but I too would love small age gaps. There are 8 years between me and my brother and I was mortified when he was born, I thought my life was over. I always said to my mum she shouldn't have waited 8 years to have another baby, I was so used to having everyones full attention. Obviously I grew to adore him, but not until he was of school age. Terrible admitting that. Would have loved to have had brothers and sisters closer to my age growing up xx

 

[Ella1979]

I have 21 months between mine. TBH, at times it's been really really tough. But we decided on a close age gap for lots of reasons, including my OH now being in his late 40s and struggling with sleepless nights! Now my youngest is (just about) toddling, it's starting to get easier. They both feed themselves and a lot of the time they play together. I'm hoping it'll just keep getting easier! We certainly don't regret it and I'm glad my pregnancy and newborn days are over!