Age gap?

[melanieyeah]

heya, wondering if any of you guys have age gaps between your partner and you, and what your views are on these.. me and my OH have 9 years between us, we have our moments.. can be pretty bad sometimes, and makes me wonder if its the age gap... or is it just our personalities that clash? 80% of the relationship is great... its the other 20% that bothers me, id love to hear how your age gap relationships work, is it me imagining it.. or is the age gap really affecting us? help

 

[hayley]

we have an age gap of 18 yrs with DH being older. It can cause problems at times but nothing that would effect our relationship. An example.... i like going into the city centre drinking and dancing.. DH hates going into the city centre and dancing is a no no!!!! It's no problem because i go into the city centre with my girl friends and go to nice restaurants and bars with DH outside the city, (like country bars or nice classy restaurants!) so i get the best of both worlds... It's not like he's only just started hating the city centre... we've never gone into the city centre drinking in the 6 yrs we've been together. So i knew before i married him!

I do sometimes think about the future. When i'm 45 he'll be 63! If i'm like my mum (she loves going out drinking and dancing) she is 54 and looks 45! will he want to go out and enjoy himself at 63???? but he seems much younger than his age now and i'm hoping he stays that way! we'll worry about it when it comes ...... years away yet!

I love him and wouldn't change a thing! he opens doors for me (even the car) he pushes my chair in for me at restaurants, he never lets me go the bar... He tells me so many times a day that he loves me! he's a true sweety....

x

 

Hi mel, there is only about 6 months between me and OH but he is still a pratt sometimes!! I'd say 60% is fine, 20% is spent bickering, and the other 20% is spent sleeping so I don't have to converse with him

 

[melanieyeah]

that is so sweet.. so it can effect minor things..nothing much to worry about, im guessing we just clash sometimes. ive been with him 2 and a half years, and weve always had little squabbles.. i put it down to age gap, but now im not so sure. its like me and him have switched roles, he loves to go out clubbing, I like to stay in and settle down.. and IM the younger one at only 20.. hes 29 almost. I made a thread ages ago complaining about his passion for going out so often, and the fact that its always ''lads nights out'' and im never invited.. makes me wonder that when i conceive, will he be clubbing still? he needs to grow up i think. i dont mind him going out the odd occasion, but once a week is too much, and im never invited. its my bday in 2 weeks, i wonder if i'll be invited out on my own birthday? aside from this hes great, he cooks, he cleans, he loves me, tells me im pretty.. makes me feel great and buys me what i want. I know he'd make a good dad..its just making him realise that clubbing is for 20 year olds, and he should be going to pubs now lol! thanks for your reply

 

[Kim]

There are 16 years between me and OH, I'm 24, he's 40. I don't think it's the age gap that is our problem, just him being a man lol!! They never grow up, so it doesn't matter how old they are!!

 

[Amanda]

After one failed relationship after another with older or similar age men, I finally came to the conclusion that men never grow up, and there's no point trying to find one that will! I'm now 35 and have been married for 3 months to a fantastic 24 year old. This seems to be the opposite way round to all of you with the age gap, but it works great for us. We still have our differences, but no more than I have had in the past with other blokes.

The only thing I find is when talking about music or old tv programs and I realise how young he is! When I was starting work in 1986, he was starting school!!!!

 

[melanieyeah]

thanks so much for clearing that up for me so i know its somthing about me and him thats the problem, not the age.. yay, now i have somthing to work on

 

[jacquidube]

Hi melanie
There is a 13 year age gap between me and my hubby. He is 27 and acts like an old man when raelly i wanted him to act his age. We do struggle especially when he wants to go out with his mates, he never takes me and i think its the age gap thats a problem. I am very young at heart and all my past relationships were alot older men. I was 20 and my partner was 49 but he was no fun so i thought i would try something different. He is my first younger man but because he acts 90 he looks 90 and nobody can tell there is an age gap between us....im not 90 by the way ...lol..
I have realised that the average man never grows up and they think they can do things on there own but really they do need us. Age can become a problem but you shouldnt worry about that. Your partner will always be older than you and he will always want you by his side especially in 20 years time when he will be 50 and you only 40. So take care sweetie and just be you. Be proud of you.
All my love
Jacqui.



Sami you really made me laugh when i read above.

 

[Zor-El]

there is 13 yrs between me and justin im 20 and he is 33 but like all men i think they are always kids lol and i see it like he says u are only as old as the woman ur feeling lol we do have difficult times when im hyper lol but we knew what we were like b4 its not like i didnt tell him how old i was i think as long as ur comfy with each other u should be fine xx

 

[ToriElla]

there is only 2yrs between me and dh. we've been married for 4yrs and everyone has their ups and downs. but we're at a stage now where we are relaxed and know what bothers each other (to avoid it) a smooth relationship has to be about give and take and co-operation really xx

 

[melanieyeah]

awww you guys, thanks so much!jacquidube, it means alot to know im not alone in the age gap world of relationships, and I know that they can work with a little elbow grease-so thanks for your reply in particular
He will never grow up and i guess i will have to accept it lol!

 

[cassi]

there is ten years between me and my OH, we argue sometimes, and its hard to get him out to clubs etc, i dont go much but when i do, he never wants to!!...

otherwise as all men, he acts ten years younger most of the time!!

As long as there is love, age is just a number, my sister and her partner have 20 years between them, have a beutiful baby girl and have been together 8 years

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

my mum and dad have a 7 year age gap have been married 22 happy years and after all they did get me out of it

 

[beanie]

my OH is 3 years younger, my ex was 10 years older. My OH is miles more mature then my ex, I guess it is down to the person not the age

 

Bloody hell this is an old thread!
My ex was 26 and I was 18 - he was a bigger idiot than most 17year old lads lol!!

 

[emilia]

My DH is 3 and a half years older than me and we've been married for 15 years.
No matter what the age difference, we all know in our hearts whether he/she is our soulmate! It's all about "give and take". We've also had our moments, but we've both learned to turn the other cheek.
So, my point.... age difference shouldn't be a prob if you love & respect each other and work together as a team.
Emilia xx

 

[BubbleOne]

There is 16yrs between me and OH
He is 39 and I am 23 this month. He worried about the age gap for a while, thinking I would get bored of him. At the same time he left his 4 children to be with me knowing that he probably wouldn't see them for years so he took a big risk. He see's his eldest child now but still doesn't see the other 3. I would say the only thing that makes it a bit complicated sometimes is the fact that he has been married before and 4 children is quite a lot of baggage but we have been together for 4yrs this June and I wouldn't change him for the world.

 

[Imi-Maddie's-Mum]

Me and my ex-husband had a huge age gap ... 15yrs between us ...

Please don't ask me what the hell possesed me to get married at the age i did ... cause 5yrs later im still trying to figure it out!!!

Im still only a baby really at 21, quite embarresing telling people i've already been married ... hope you don't think any less of me

 

[emilia]

I'm sure that no one will think any less of you!
I got married at 21 - I'll be 37 this year and still married - it can be done!!
Emilia xx

 

[v11kae]

I think age gaps only matter if you let it and depends on the maturity and upbringing of the person.

Some of the most mature people I know are younger and I certainly know some older nutcases. For example. My other half who is 4.5 years older than me (he's 28) runs a business for his dad and is so organised it unbelievable. Yet my Dad who is 46 has never changed a nappy ad whho's idea of fu is getting pissed almost every other day and not taking responcibility for his actions as far back as 10 years ago.

Definetley depennds on the person. I if I dont understand a person I wouldnt even try fathom them out, it just gets too ccomplicated.

If it gives you wrinkles or hurts your feelings then it aint worth worrying about! Wash your hands of it, if you can that is or try your best but always keep a smile on your face cause it could always be musch worse!