wtt- feeling guilty

[honeybear]

Hi ladies
im back in wtt after 18 months of trying "/
my partner wanted me to go back on the pill until September and then he wanted to sleep with me

I feel like such a sell out after going through the side effects of stopping depo and just starting to ovulate
and now I have to stop
I went on mini pill and after a week started bleeding heavily with clots so nurse brought me in for hcg blood test results are Monday

Does anyone else feel really guilt because they couldnt give their partners a baby when they wanted to try
I feel guilty all the time because now he doesnt want to try until later on in the year
I wish it wasnt like this it caused so much arguments it made me feel like it would break us

and now I just feel upset all the time because we could have had a baby by now but we've given up
he avoids baby talk ttc talk. I wish September would hurry up
what if its rubbish because he doesbt want the kids his mum says he does

heads a mush xxxx

 

[littlemonkey]

Aw I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. Has your OH said why he wants to wait until september? I don't think some blokes realise how much hard work it is going on then coming off the pill. I came off in december after finally having enough of being on it for years. I told my OH we would use condoms or we wouldn't be dtd! I'd had enough of contraception being my responsibility.

Maybe tell him how you're feeling and perhaps suggest an alternative form of contraception that doesn't involve you being pumped full of hormones while you're feeling so fragile.

 

[lisey]

Hey hun,

I think you need to also consider what you want here. You could use condoms rather than the pill, my OH has no say in whether I take the pill or not. and wouldn't dream of telling or even asking me to (I am a bit of a demon though and won't be told anything) It can take a while for it to come out of your system again so could prolong ttc again in the future. I don't mean to sound harsh but it all seems to be about what your OH wants and not what you maybe want xx
Do you think he has maybe got scared at the prospect of the upcoming tests (most likely the SA). You know what men are like, they bury their heads in the sand and the thoughts of having sperm problems as can make them feel less of a man-which is clearly not reality.
I do know what you mean about feeling guilty, I often feel like that. I have a son (from previous relationship) but I can't seem to carry one for my OH, I try and counteract those thoughts with telling myself I will one day and it will all work out.
September will soon come round hun but please consider yourself and your feelings in all of this, speak to your OH about how you feel. It doesn't seem to help telling them when your Ov'ing or anything like that as its a bit of a passion killer but a conversation about ttc in general might be needed to really get to the root of what you're both feeling xx

 

[Donna88]

Did you come off depo 18 months ago?

I don't think you should go on the pill if your wanting to ttc in September as it could take a few months after coming off it to get back into your cycle again. I'd speak to your oh about it and explain that if your wanting to wait a few months before trying again that condoms would be better contraception then the pill as coming off the depo could be why you haven't conceived so far.

 

[littlemonkey]

Is depo the injection or the implant? I've not had either sorry so have to ask, but I remember being told that it can take up to a year for the injection to come out of your system. It's the only one they advised me not to take if I was going to TTC in the near future.

Also it's not your fault you couldn't give your OH a baby. Don't forget making a baby takes two. It can put strain on a relationship but running away from it all won't help matters either. Don't feel guilty and don't ever blame yourself.

 

[Donna88]

Depo is the injection

I was on it and it took me 10 months to get back to a normal cycle... at least what I think is a normal cycle

It can also effect people differently so although they say up to a year, I'm sure it could take some people a little longer.

I agree with the above post hun

 

[Mrs M]

It took me over a year just to get a period after 8 years on the depo injection! Then it took about6 months to become "regular" with some sort of pattern! And then it took me 5 months to fall pg! The second time we tried I had taken no hormonal contraceptive after baby number 1 and I fell pg in the first month! I've taken nothing since ds was born so hopefully we'll fall fairly quickly when we ttc again at the end of the year.

 

[honeybear]

Hi ladies
thankyou for all your support and advice

my bloodtest from doctors came back negative for HCG as i had really heavy bleeding from the pill i started on.
so i told my o.h after another argument because i was at work and very stressed and snapped and said right if we are NT NP from september and relaxing then im not taking the pill because its ruining my body not yours i felt awful.
So he said we would use condoms so victory one. I then addressed the issue about kids. And he said hes fed up of telling me he wants kids when i dont believe him
he said he does want children he just wants us to be in the best position possible first and relaxed not stressed with funds or the house or jobs or my university course.
He does want children and said hes very excited i think the TTC business has put him off bitterly though because of how upsetting it can be.
Im not pushing the issue any more we both got what we wanted he wanted to wait and i wanted to come off the pill i started.

only thing is now im absolutely stuffed at where my cycle is or going to be as i had a proper heavy AF bleed from brown spotting full blown AF and then brown spotting again to finish that lasted my usual 3 days. So im not sure if it brought on an AF ?
in which case i wont be due AF again now until next month so i would think

i think it will at least give me a few months to track my cycles again and see how long they are and when they start at least.

who knew the happiest thing would turn into a big drama

Question for ladies who've had the mini pill after a AF
did you get a bleed if so was it an AF bleed or chemical bleed? did it affect your cycle more?
I was only on it for about a week max!
xxxx

 

[Mrs M]

Yay! At least now you both know exactly where you stand! This is a good thing, and September is only 1 few months away really! We're half way through April already.

I think it's a good idea to track your cycle and find out when you ovulate, etc. Good luck!

 

[honeybear]

Mrs M hes the most confusing person ever!
We dtd tonight planned i must say after a nice bath etc but just so we had time and he didnt even ask to use protection or make any thoughts to himself
im not complaining at all but im almost sure the thought of a baby is either scaring him or in his words before hes worried ill be angry i throw my first year at uni away when i worked hard to get in.

i dont know lol men.
september really isnt far away! i just hope we dont have another 18 months TTC
i may book a private sperm exam

does anyone in lancashire know anywhere on offer at the moment? xx

 

[lisey]

Hi hun,

I am glad you have reached some kind of compromise that you are both happy with xx

With regards to the sperm test, your doctor will order one hun, you don't need to have it done privately. Once you have been trying a year, its standard to test sperm as its the least invasive investigation. Get your OH to speak to or see his GP and ask for sperm analysis and they should agree xx

 

[honeybear]

Hi lisey hun
how are you?
thankyou i know im happy too! xx
i will get him to speak to our doctor xx

 

[lisey]

Hi lisey hun
how are you?
thankyou i know im happy too! xx
i will get him to speak to our doctor xx

I am good thanks hun. Yeah get him to give them a call or if you are at the same surgery, you might be able to arrange it through your doctor if he's too embarrassed x

 

[honeybear]

Hi lisey,
i spoke to my fella and hes going to contact the doctor!
we just got back from haven was a lovely break! got abit tipsy! oops!

i had a look back on my old cycle info up until taking norgeston for that week! i had af

march 22-25

april 10-12 ( norgeston bleed) DUE TO OVULATE HERE! just as i started the pill bleed! we dtd for 3 days before that non stop too!

af was due around april 22? no AF. did a test on 21st april PM no line.
this last couple of days ive had some tugs and pains. but ALOT of CM like before you ovulate?

any ideas if my body is trying to ovulate or if i could be pregnant ladies? xxx

 

[lisey]

That's good hun. I am glad you had a lovely break away. Its always nice to have a change of scenery

I don't know in regards to pregnancy/ovulating. The short time on the pill could have messed things up but its hard to say. Have you got any opks to try? I would bd just incase (if you want to ttc of course) xx