who the hell was i trying to kid??

[Jayceesmumma]

Lily screams when I leave the room now too, take it as a compliment he loves his mummy so much
I'd defo talk to someone babe even if it's just ur mum first then work your way to a gp or hv.. There's got to be a reason why he doesn't like shops.. Is it too noisy for him? How about having his hearing checked? Ellie used to scream at the slightest noise for no reason.. Never found out why, she still hates hand driers..
I don't know what to suggest babe your doing everything you possibly can.. When is he calmest and happiest??

 

[Sarah13]

Awww, you really are having such a difficult time just now, I don't know what else to suggest. I know how you feel about having a baby who doesn't sleep though! Maybe he picks up on you feeling stressed so perhaps if you chatted to your doctor or midwife about how you feel you might find as you become more relaxed and chilled so will he. I know you try to be like that but if your not really feeling that way he will pick up on that. Having 2 under 2 has come as a massive shock to you so you need to get your head around that. Try to think about the good side of a small age gap instead of all the negatives, I would love 2 under 2 (and quite jealous of you lol!) as you get the sleepless nights done together and what really appeals to me is they will grow up together, my dd was always quite lonely growing up on her own.
do you try to do fun things like swimming and classes with Charlie or does he still scream all the time? And the next one could be totally different, I know my two are, dd slept and wasn't so needy!

 

[mum2b410]

Hun, I really think u need to get all this out and speak to someone proffessional who can help u tackle ur issues bit by bit! It sounds like u r over thinking everything and trying to get to the bottom of it all but going round in circles! Your hv or mw or go could help u work out if its PND or not, but either way u need some help hun! U can't keep soldiering on like this- u, Charlie and ur baby deserve better. Please think about seeing someone xx

 

[prettypenguin]

I dont know who i'd say it all to, ive never met my hv, but do i just ring up and askfor one to come round? I wouldnt even know the number... JM i have noticed he is sensitive to noises likethe hoover and the blender scare him, he used to cry at oh sneezing loudly but it does t bother him now. The shops i go in arent noisy i dont go into clothes shops as they play their music really loud and he cries. But he cries if i go into small tescos, boots, the o2 shop this morning i had to give him a rusk to keep him quiet. He just hates shops in general. Ive even tried putting the hood bsck on the buggy so if he looks up he can see me but he still cries... been going on about 2 months now x

 

[prettypenguin]

Sarah13 yeah i do go out and take him swimming etc and take him the park, the only time he seems happy i the pram is when were on a main road and theres loads of cars he seems to like watching them. He does like swimming, doesnt splash or anything but he is quite calm and relaxed, and watches other kids.


Hes at my aunties now has been since half eleven, hes been awake since 8am and had hakf an hour sleep :-/ he NEVER sleeps at anyone elses not even in a travel cot at my mums everytime he goes in it he screams he hates it. Im surprised hes had half an hour but the he should have had 2/3 hours by now, hes gonna be a bugger tonight now and i wanted to dye my hair x

 

[BabyBrain]

Have you tried blocking his view totally? A lot of shops save money on lighting by having mirror backed lights, which is fine until you look up at them and they are pretty dazzling. He might be sensitive to electro-magnetic field coming from fridge units and other electrical stuff. Babies are more sensitive to it than adults because of their developing nervous system, if he is he will grow out of it xxxxxxxx

 

[prettypenguin]

And im not thT close to my mum to explain feeli.gs, she doesnt do things like depression she doesnt believe in it. My auntie however had pnd with her son and im closer to her but i dont want her worrying or thinking i cant do it when ive managed to convin e people ill be fine so they dont gossip or go on behind my back (like my cousin has done anyway, not that shes in a position to judge) x

 

[prettypenguin]

Have you tried blocking his view totally? A lot of shops save money on lighting by having mirror backed lights, which is fine until you look up at them and they are pretty dazzling. He might be sensitive to electro-magnetic field coming from fridge units and other electrical stuff. Babies are more sensitive to it than adults because of their developing nervous system, if he is he will grow out of it xxxxxxxx

No i didnt even think about that- he cries if i drape my coat over it you know if im trying to get him to sleep, but i coukd try that or put a hat with a peak on him... i wish sometimes he could tell me whats wrong, his favourite shops to hate are actually bright, o2, boots, asda. I just thought he hated shopping which id understand if i always hung about in town.

 

[Princess81]

And im not thT close to my mum to explain feeli.gs, she doesnt do things like depression she doesnt believe in it. My auntie however had pnd with her son and im closer to her but i dont want her worrying or thinking i cant do it when ive managed to convin e people ill be fine so they dont gossip or go on behind my back (like my cousin has done anyway, not that shes in a position to judge) x

See, you are worried about what other people will think of you and trying to put on a front to convince them that you're ok when you're not
There's no shame in admitting how hard you're finding it and if people gossip its because their own lives are that dull that they have nothing more interesting to talk about!!I'd speak to your auntie, she'd want to know if you aren't okay xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I agree ^^
What pushchair do you have? Maybe try a forward facing stroller so he can see things around him like u say he likes to watch cars and people.. I'd defo talk to a hv, you can mention to one at a weighing clinic an they can book in an appointment for u??

 

[prettypenguin]

Yeah i could do thst on weds, they have weigh ins then and i havent taken charlie for about 2 months, not that i need to hes got enough fat to live on haha!

Yeah, i just dont want peopoe thiking i cant do the job, if it wasnt something important i would tell everyone but...

I already have a forward facing buggy, its like an umbrella fold buggy if that makes sense.

My aunties noticed today that hes more sicky than usual after food and feels warm but is only 37°, whih he usually is anyway hes always warm whereas im always cold. So now i feel daft for not noticing, he is a sicky baby anyway so its hard to tell, she said he seems fed up today.

So shes just dropped himoff but my cousin who is pg and has 3 potential dads, nowhere to live and no money and not bithered to find a job and spends her dole money on one tree hill boxsets and moans she has no baby stuff with 8 weeks to go was here so i didnt want to say anything, she said the other day to my auntie (who is her auntie too) that she feels sorry for me as 'she is really gonna struggle with 2'


Okay love, but no more thsn you will with one, good luck getting up through the night and in the morning when you spend sll day in bed... grr.

So ill prob text her later abd tell her.meanwhile i feel a bit better after chatting on here, and my monkey is back hence all the spelling mistakes, in the night garden is on but no obviously wires and pulling the carpet up is more fun! Xxxx

 

[BabyBrain]

So you're worried how you are going to cope when you have a cousin who will have Jeremy Kyle on her Friends and Family call list????

You do need to open up to someone hun, no-one has ever said that mums have to cope with absolutely everything.....just almost everything lol xxxxxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

U sound alot happier babe.. Defo have to vent here at least! See what the hv says its their job to help they know it's hard work and don't label you as not being able to cope.. It's being brave enough to ask for help when you need it
Ur cousin sounds very immature she's gonna get a big reality shock, just be happy knowing that fact

 

[prettypenguin]

I know, she is very immature, shes 20 but acts about 12. Actually no she acts like these girls on 16 and Pregnant lol.


Yeah, i just want to be super good at being a mum, and dont like admitting when im not being good at it. I think ill talk to the hv on weds, what do i even say? Just ask for an appointment? I dont usually talk to them xx

 

[LoopyLouize]

You are a fab mum!! Don't ever doubt yourself!!! Even a mum that can't cope is NOT a bad mum!!

Jeez it's not like you feed Charlie fags and alcohol is it lol , if you did, then yeah I would say, omg that Kirsty is a bad mum! Seriously, I have seen you every week for the past month or so and honestly I'm not just saying this... You are fantastic with C and H!! You handle them both fab!! When I left you with them both when they was moaning because I had to talk to my works you were fab with them! I would have been running around like a headless chicken!

You can take H for a few hours if you want lol, get some practice in for having two babies!

Just kidding

Hope your feeling better!

X

 

[katie_lou]

Awwww hun massive hugs . I dnt know what to say as am not in the same situation as u but as the other girls have suggested can ur Oh not help out more of a night time xxxx

 

[Hunnie]

I think you feel like you're not coping but actually you obviously are otherwise you would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. People really dont realise how hard motherhood is until they experience it for themselves and there is nothing that can prepare you for it. At the end of the day Charlie is fed, changed and developing well and so to me that makes you a good mum, it really isnt your fault that he's a funny little man, thats just the way he is and nothing you've done has influenced that.

I think part of the way he acts could just be an attatchment to you and being clingy. I know Sophie will sit there and moan and cry even when OH is sat next to her and will instantly go quiet once I step into the room.

I never once felt happy to be pregnant with Sophie, completely doubted myself and constantly cried thinking what have I gone and done and that I had completely ruined my life. I know Ive made it a lot harder for myself and every day I have so much to do but I really dont think I could go back to my old lifestyle however many times Ive thought that it was better because fact is nothing in the world beats having cuddles with your sleeping baby!!!

Sometimes I wish I had another to keep Sophie entertained during the day and when Im busy but just think of it this way you're already up once in the night with Charlie so maybe dream feeding the new LO would help to get them both into the same routine?

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Just tell them he's crying alot and is hard to settle so you would like to talk to someone about it.. Make them aware you are pregnant too.. It's hard to break the ice for the first time but after you start you won't be able to stop they won't judge you or tell you your doing wrong coz your not.. Don't be afraid to say your not coping we've all been in a position we can't handle at that point.. Don't let it get the better of you.. Trust me, get some help and he may not change his ways (they will give you some good suggestions they've seen all kinds of babies!!) but you'll feel better for it knowing your not in it alone!!

 

[prettypenguin]

Thanks guys, i will do. Yeah i know ill change my mind when the baby gets here, i just feel bad and dont like saying im not happy when theres ppl desperate for a baby. It sounds daft but i feel stupid telling people im pg, the midwife was shocked when i told her how old charlie is so i dont want people judging, at least its with the same man though.... x

 

[BabyBrain]

Yanno just after Albert was born my mw said she'd see me next year lol. Let people think what they like, it's no-one elses business. You'll be fine xxxxxx