Sorry this is a bit of a long-winded one but I anyone could take out the time to read, I'd be most appreciative. I've reached the point where I think I need to talk to someone about this. I'm 45, married with 3 children 18,15 and 2. We've just "celebrated" our silver wedding anniversary. My husband works freelance and has always brought home a good wage although there can be times when he is out of work for a couple of months between jobs. I had always worked full time before we had kids although my job pays significantly less than his, although I am not on a bad wage by any means. Since our daughter was born in November 2013, I negotiated returning to work 4 days a week so I could at least spend some time with her to strike a sensible work/life balance. My husband finished his last assignment in February 2015. We had sufficient money to allow him some time off as he had had a long assignment working about 30 miles or so away from home, commuting on a daily basis. It is now April 2016 and most of our savings have now been used up so my wage is basically trying to cover all our outgoings. He has his own business and has been looking to try and develop some business ideas as an alternative to the work he normally does and I have tried to support this. We have been making a conscious effort to tighten the purse strings and cut our spending but I am getting stressed. I have gingerly expressed my concerns about our financial situation and this has caused a few arguments. I guess one of the main things that is riling me is that he said we could only afford for me to have 6 months off work as maternity leave (I had accrued 1 month's holiday so total time off was 7 months) and I said fair enough. However when it comes to him deciding when he's going to start working properly again, I have no say. He has been doing a bit of washing and makes tea on an evening but the house is a tip. I find myself trying to get on top of the mess on my day off when I should be trying to spend some time with my daughter. She had been becoming really clingy with him and generally goes to him, rather than me. She does go to nursery 2 days a week and my mum comes to help on two days two so that only really leaves Wednesday to cover and that's my day off. He's constantly saying he needs to get on with his "project" but has been managing to find time to go to the gym. He cancelled my membership to save money as I have been going running on my own instead. His mum has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and is currently undergoing chemo so I have tried to take this into account and am trying to support him through this difficult time. He is certainly not someone who opens up about things. I'm increasingly not liking the person he has become though. He seems quite self centred and frankly I'm not enjoying spending time with him. He had been flying off the handle more than usual with our two teenage sons. Yes, they don't always pull their weight but there was an occasion recently where he pushed our younger son onto the sofa and shouted at him in a really scary fashion. I was a bit scared and told him this afterwards. I think my son can sense something is wrong. Then this weekend we were going to the seaside and I pulled into the petrol station to fill up. When leaving I nipped out in front of another car and he started having a go at me and distracted me and I nearly ran into a bus that I hadn't seen. He called me a "stupid f***ing bitch" in front of my son and my 2 year old. Yes I know I made a mistake but am I unreasonable for thinking that was bang out of order? I seem to be trying to find every excuse to try and avoid him at the moment and am happier when I'm not at home. My eldest son is due to go to University in September so there'll only be my younger son and my daughter then. The thought of another 25 years of this fills me with dread. I've been drinking more than usual, which I'm a bit concerned about but think it's under control. He's tried to hug me in bed but I don't feel like getting intimate at the moment. There's been a few times I've wondered what would happen if I disappeared for a few days but couldn't do that to my kids. I feel pretty miserable. My husband does care about our kids but he does seem to overreact to situations that don't warrant it. I'm not sure what to do.