dont want to let go

[hjones]

My boyfriend left me a few weeks ago. We had been together 5 years and always had a rocky relationship but this year things had started to improve massively. Then we had a little argument and he left. I thought he just needed some time and didn't really think anything of it, then after a couple of weeks he told me he had a new girlfriend. I was absolutely devastated.I never saw it coming at all. Then a few days later I discovered I was pregnant. I told him straight away and he acted as tho he really couldn't care less. We already have a son together and he has been seeing him about twice a week since he left and its been awful having to see him and we always end up arguing and he's been really horrible to me. So I have been trying to prepare myself for doing this on my own and being without him and focusing on all the horrible things to tell myself I'm better off without him. The thing is after all he has done I still love him and stupidly still want him back. When he dropped our son off at the weekend he was here 20 mins and he was actually nice to me again and it was like we used to be and I knew I just don't wanna let go. I keep telling myself I should hate him, he's never even asked how I am in the pregnancy or even when the baby is due, but I don't know how to get by without him . I believed this new girlfriend was a rebound but I have to face up to the fact it might actually last and that I have lost him for good I just don't know how!!
Sorry for long post needed to get if off my chest!

 

[BabysMomma]

Awk hunni I really don't know what to say but wanted to send you a It must be a horrid situation to be in. Can you raise the subject about baby again with him now that you both haven't argued and he's being nicer? Hope you're ok. x

 

[hjones]

Awk hunni I really don't know what to say but wanted to send you a It must be a horrid situation to be in. Can you raise the subject about baby again with him now that you both haven't argued and he's being nicer? Hope you're ok. x

Thanks. I don't know what to do really. He originally said he would come to the scans but then never mentioned it again and he was being so horrible I had decided I would go without him as it would be awkward in there. But I guess I will just wait a few weeks see if he asks or mentions it. It is a horrid situation.

 

[BabysMomma]

Have you got the date for your first scan yet? If you don't you could always wait until you do and say oh btw I've received the scan date which is "xyz" would you still like to come? It's easier said than done though hey.

I suppose all you can do is to continue being a fantastic mummy to your DS and stay strong for yourself and new little bubba while you assess what the situation is going to be with you and their daddy.

I'm sorry but I suck at giving advice, I just hope that it all works out the way that you would like it too. xx

 

[mumsy4]

Gosh hun I know the pain of a break up all to well and I know how sad and angry and lonely and desperate I felt, and I wasn't pregnant.I can't not even imagine how your coping with your child and being pregnant on your own, also dealing with the fact he has selfishly gone and got someone else involved in his life. I really hope you have a good solid family unit around you because no matter how strong an individual you are this must hurt. I also hope things get better and your feelings for him quickly disappear. Lots of love x

 

[hjones]

Thanks for the kind words. My friends and family have been fantastic and will continue to help me out but they still have their own lives to live and I do feel quite alone at times. My ex is still being nice to me, I'd go as far as to say even flirty on occasions. He stays longer each time he drops our son off, even calls me for random chats. At first I was over the moon but I'm realising hes making things worse so I need to tell him to stop. As much as it will break my heart he can't keep giving me hope that he still loves me when he is living with someone else. I just get really upset he's not here helping me out while I feel so ill and that he won't be here when I bring baby home. I guess it will come in time. Just not anytime soon!!

 

[mumsy4]

Yeah hun don't let him have his cake and eat it. My ex did that to me, then we started sleeping together, but he always went back to his girlfriend, I felt filthy afterwards, don't fall into that trap. You should be as distant and non responsive to him as possible. Only speak to him if u actually have something to discuss, and that being only child/pregnancy related. He'll start to want to know whats going in in your life soon, again non of his business and make it clear you feel that way. You cant have him thinking that he still has a right to you xx

 

[hjones]

That is what I was worried about. And whether I am strong enough to do it. I hope I can cuz I know deep downits the right thing to do. He chose to leave and I need to accept it and try to get on with my life without him. I'm sure it will get better as time goes on. Keep reminding myself its his loss x

 

[AndreaJayne]

As he had started to call u and be nice etc I think he may b trying to have his cake & eat it as he knows u still want him. My ex did this to me but I wasn't preg and he started seeing sum1 else and me also and kept telling me for 6 weeks he didn't want me. I finally had enough and just thought fk him, my friend had introduced me to a guy who wanted to take me on a date, as soon as he knew id started to move on he was on the phone begging me back.
Im not saying for certain it's the same but u don't want to get your hopes up, I'd say do what u can to make itself feel better, facial, get your hair or nails done etc I believe things happen for a reason and it may b there is sum1 waiting to treat u like a princess xxx

 

[hjones]

I do think he is trying to get the best of both worlds. I'm trying to be distant with him but I suck at it to be honest!! He keeps asking if I'm seeing anyone or if I've slept with anyone and I tell him its none of his business and it doesn't like it. It clearly still bothers him. But then I get my hopes up again that he mite still come back but in reality the longer this goes on the less likely that is to happen. I still have really bad days like today I've cried my eyes out but least I'm not crying every day now. He's still being nice and friendly which is easier in some respects but makes life complicated in others. He still wants to come to the scan but I'm worried about spending time alone with him which we haven't done since he left. Just imagine it will be awkward!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I don't know what to suggest hun.. If he wants to come to the scan let him.. If your meant to be together u will.. Maybe she is just a rebound.. An escape from 'family life' how did he cope being a dad?