When should he see LO

[Jaxx01]

Right a little bit of background!!

My ex fooked off when I was 5 weeks pregnant...he waited until I was at work one day, packed his bags, wrote me a letter and moved back 50 miles away to his home town!!

Since then, Ive had minimal (and I mean minimal) contact!!! Ive contacted him to tell him how scans have gone etc...not him...hes made no effort at all other than moaning about how unfair it is that I am the one who will decide about contact etc and how stupid it is that baby is having my surname!!!

So my question is : When should he first see our little man when he's born?

I have since moved, and I do not want him to know my new address as he is the type of person that would just turn up out of the blue!!!

I have always said that I have no problem whatsoever about him having regular contact etc... but just wondered when the first contact should be?

I do not under any circumstances want him in my house when Ive literally just come out of hospital! I would say he could go to my mums house and see baby there, but I just dont know how Im gonna feel eg: What if I have to have C section...I live on second floor and would like to be settled at home for a few days after birth to have a bit of recovery time!!

Just seems like a nightmare as he is likely to kick off if he doesnt see him straightaway

Im not doing it to be nasty, just the ins and outs of it all practical wise are a nightmare

Any advice would be gratefully received xxx

 

[AugustMum]

First off

I think he should see your LO when he makes the effort to contact you and ask if he can come meet him. Personally, I'd wait until he's about 2/3 weeks old and if you do have a section, then maybe wait 6 weeks just so your more settled to go somewhere else. I think it's a good idea to meet at your mums. Gives you some extra support then if he decides to get all up himself about the surname thing etc. Will he be put on the birth certificate? As he'll have to go with you to that because your not married. If he does go with you, take someone else with you because he might get there and kick up a fuss about the name thing again.

HTH Being a single parent is one of the toughest things I've ever had to do but at the same time, I can take all the credit for how amazing my LO is and you get the satisfaction of knowing you gave your LO everything he needs

 

[Jaxx01]

thanks for your reply!

Im undecided about the birth certificate really. The thought has crossed my mind that he would try and get his surname on there if he came with me!!

He hasnt even bothered to ask my due date...he knows its beginning of dec sometime but he doesnt know the date... I think tbh all hes interested is claiming that he has a son, he has a daughter from a previous relationship...

He doesnt drive so doubt very much he'll make it down here but I have made it 100% clear that he is not going to be left alone with baby until 1) hes proved he can maintain regular contact and ") he has built up a bond!!

Such a mess...

I bought my first son up from 8 months and I know what you mean about it being so rewarding...he's 3 now and only int he last 6 months have I managed to get his dad into regular contact!!! Cant see it ever being like that with this babies dad!!! grrr MEN!!!lol xx