What's the best age gap

[Ttc1234]

My little boy has just turned 11 months and I'm wondering when to start ttc again. It took us 4 months to conceive last time so I'm thinking it may be similar this time but who knows. My friend also just had a miscarriage and this scares me so so much as I always wanted my kids to be close in age.
Only thing putting me off ttc now or before now (I've really wanted another since he was 6 months lol) is my work. I've only been back a month from maternity and we are so busy and so short staffed I'd feel really guilty going off again soon. Also work have a night out next month and if I wasn't drinking they'd be so suspicious so agin this is making me think I should wait but deep down I don't want to as I want to be pregnant now! Other half says I shouldn't let work interfere with our family plans! I'm torn what to do.
Part of me just wants to start ttc now as I'm scared it takes a while - if we conceived now we'd have a 20 month gap?!
Suggestions what to do..I'm midcycle this week so need to make a decision very soon lol
Xx

 

[kumber]

I have a 14 month gap between the first two, and will have a two year gap between the second and third. I will basically have 3 under 3, as my eldest has a severe speech delay and delayed understanding with it, so he's about 12 months behind what he should be. It's not for everyone

 

[Ttc1234]

What did you really work say having your kids so close together? I know they can't do anything but I've obviously got a guilt ridden personality lol

 

[Rose83]

Like Kumber I'm going to have 3 under 3. There is 15 months between my first two and will be 18 months between these two. It's going to be hard work! I decided to give up work about a month before I found out I was pregnant with number 3 (he was a surprise as we were planning a big age gap this time). So I went back to work after my first when I was 4 months pregnant and was due to work 16 weeks before going back on mat leave. The reality was that my daughter started nursery full time and came down with every bug going to I had to take a lot of time of work - was back a week and had to take a week off with her as she got chicken pox! Then 7 weeks before I was due to go on mat leave I got such a bad sinus infection that the doctors couldn't get rid of that I was signed off work for 6 weeks! Work were absolutely fine about it all but I did feel guilty. If I'd gone back to work after my second I would basically have done the same again and only been at work about 5 months so although it would have been good for me in terms of money, I would have felt so bad about messing them around (and I'm a teacher so would have felt bad for my pupils too).

Having said that I'm with your OH - don't let work interfere with your plans! I should add though that you are more fertile after having a baby so you might not find it hard to conceive at all! With my daughter I had two periods then was pregnant and with my son I had one and was breastfeeding so it was an irregular cycle too x

 

[kumber]

I took a break from work to have babies, as we didn't think we could have them so I wanted to reduce my stress as much as I could to keep them safe in there.

I have to agree with Rose and your hubby, don't let work dictate your family. You sound ready for another so go for it if that's what you want

 

[Dolores]

Hi Ttc,

I agree with your husband! Work comes second, surely, to your personal family plans. If you both really want a brother or sister for your little one then I say go ahead - no time like the present! As you know, sometimes conceiving can take time, you never know, it could take a year or it could take a month! But however it pans out, at least your children will be close together in age which is what you seem to want.

By the way, I would want all my children to be close together too - there's something nice and cosy about it!

Lots of luck and don't let work stop you (they can't fire you for having a baby, that would be illegal!)

Dolores x

 

[KHTW]

Hi Ttc,

It is not an easy decission, is it?

Of course work should come second but if you feel you may struggle financially if you leave work now, my advise would be to stay at work for as long as required to build up some cash supplies for the new baby. If money is not an issue then -yeah totally - work comea second!

Perfect age gap? This is something I have been thinking about since DD was born... For me personally it has to be at least 2.5! My toddler must be able to play by herself, sleep through the night and be potty trained. But that is me.

We decided to start trying in October and I hope by the time we get pregnant and the little one comes, DD will be 3 at least

I went to work when DD was 9 months and we split child care between myself and hubby; he stays at home in the morning and I tak over from 3.30. I hope we will be able to do the same with 2 kids as I enjoy working.

I hope you can make this decission and feel good about it xx

 

[Emily0505]

There is no perfect age gap, it's all down to your preference and your own circumstances.

I have a daughter who is four weeks old on Saturday and my son will be five in August. We hadn't planned such a big age gap but that's the way it ended up. In actual fact it's worked out perfectly for us.

As for how long it will take to conceive this time round, there's no way of knowing how long it will take this time. It took us 7 months with my son and two years and three miscarriages before I fell pregnant with my daughter.

Ultimately when you try for another baby is a personal decision and only you and your oh can decide when the time is right for you.

XX

 

[Hoping for no2]

5 years between my first 2 and will be 3 years 4 months between numbers 2 and 3. Personally prefer a bigger age gap as know how difficult it is with young kids, lol! It's def personal preference x

 

[Belfa]

When my DS was around 18months I felt I could handle a newborn at that point as he was really good at walking, feeding himself, playing in the house etc.

With him it took me 17months to fall pregnant as I needed fertility meds. This time round I just got a repeat prescription so I fell pregnant first try and my DS will be 2.5years which I'm happy about as I hope that he'll be potty trained so only 1 child to change nappies, will be in a toddler bed so I can reuse my nursery furniture and when I go back to work after mat leave he will be in nursery full time so I won't have 2 lots of childcare x

 

[Alipops1986]

My little boy will be 3.5 years old when this baby is born - that's a good age gap for me. I feel he's benefited from having us all to himself for a decent stretch of time, and he's potty trained/sleeps through/can be reasoned with most of the time. He'll also get 30 free hours of childcare at preschool, so that'll keep him busy. Also, the way maternity leave will fall, means one of us will be off to take him to school in September 2018 and get him settled in.

I feel quite guilty when it comes to work. I went back after 10 months maternity leave with Zachary, went back 4 days but ended up being promoted. Then, about a year ago, I applied for another full time promotion - basically, knowing we were going to want another baby and that financially it made sense. OH then went down to 4 days a week.
Been doing this promotion - in education - for a year in September and already pregnant! I feel a bit guilty, but i'll be back after 6 months, as me and OH are going to do the Shared Maternity Leave and financially, it makes sense for me to get back to work before SMP kicks in. In fairness, I'll be at work for 3 weeks, then it'll be 6 weeks summer holidays so it isn't as bad as it sounds!
Also, i'm 30, so i've got plenty of working years ahead of me, they'll get their pound of flesh i'm sure!!

 

[CARNAT22]

I have 26 months between my 2. Not going to lie, it wasn't easy.

Age gap will be 3 and 5 years with number 3 and I'm sure it will have its own challenges.

I guess all age gaps come with positives and negatives? Do what is right for you.

X

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