what age would you say is too old and too young....

[kitty86]

PLEASE PLEASE DONT SHOUT AT ME but I was just thinking how times change. Yonks ago (in the olden days I mean) people where getting married and having kids younger than 16 and it was acceptable. You would be working from such a young age. Im no historian so please dont quote me on this.

Times have changed and so has society opinions on whats 'acceptable'.

Everyone is entitle to opinions and I reallyy enjoy reading them but this thread is a little extream.

I did not write this post to prove a point or to start an debate.

 

[budge]

This thread is shocking!

I'm tempted to think Foxymum might be a Troll. I mean who in their right mind starts a thread like this, knowing full well we have ladies of all ages on here?

She's either completely insensitive or she's out to cause trouble.......

I agree its shocking, but she's new and maybe didnt realise??

its not shocking at all.
Its marely a thread that has diverse opinions in it.
i personally like to hear other peoples opinions on things and i don't have to fall out wit people or get heated just coz i don't agree with them.

i think to conlude this thread Foxymummy we can safely say that what age people choose to have a baby is totally down to individual choice/circumstances .

it seems that there is no right or wrong age as such so long as its in the bounds of legality and nature.
As i said earlier legally a girl can have sex and therefore have a baby at 16 and the monopause (which happens at different ages for every woman) determines when she is too old to bare a baby.

does this answer your question fully enough

 

[kazlin]

Interesting debate!

Ok, let me tell my story...

I am 38 and because I wasted 10 years of my life on an ar** ho** of a husband (yes, I know, silly me!) I was deprived of one of the things I wanted. Looking back though it was a huge blessing.

I am now with a super bloke who is 8 years younger than me and we are planning to have chidren, hopefully this year. People think I am 10 years younger as I apparently look young and act younger than my age.

I am going to be proud to be an older mum. My only concern is that my biological clock is ticking by.

Of course if I am unable to full pregnant, then around the age of 45, I will give up as I then feel that is a little too old for me personally, but the plus side is that if I become ill because of age or pop my clogs (which is probably what all this age thing boils down to) my OH will be young enough to take responsibility and I know that he gladly would.

 

[FoxyMummy]

rite i have had enough of this, yes im new and i was just wonderin what other peoples views were on this i never ment to cause one bit of trouble or hurt anyone, so i will apologise.... Sorry to anyone who has been hurt or offended by what i have wrote.
It was just my personal opinion.


As for being called a troll, i think you are bang out of order on that and will be complaining to admin as you do not know me and are slatin me on my views. im very hurt at the fact people have just slated me for what i think.

 

[tuck]

some opinions are best kept to themselves!!!!! there are so many reasons why people have children at whatever age and this thread has begun to judge people which is very insensitive and also bloody rude, prehaps when some of you reach the 'rip old age of 40' you will have different opinions so lets close this subject now before I say something I regret .

 

[Sammystar]

This thread is shocking!

I'm tempted to think Foxymum might be a Troll. I mean who in their right mind starts a thread like this, knowing full well we have ladies of all ages on here?

She's either completely insensitive or she's out to cause trouble.......

I agree its shocking, but she's new and maybe didnt realise??

its not shocking at all.
Its marely a thread that has diverse opinions in it.
i personally like to hear other peoples opinions on things and i don't have to fall out wit people or get heated just coz i don't agree with them.

i think to conlude this thread Foxymummy we can safely say that what age people choose to have a baby is totally down to individual choice/circumstances .

it seems that there is no right or wrong age as such so long as its in the bounds of legality and nature.
As i said earlier legally a girl can have sex and therefore have a baby at 16 and the monopause (which happens at different ages for every woman) determines when she is too old to bare a baby.

does this answer your question fully enough

The subject matter may not be shocking, although personally I think it's a bloody daft question to ask people on this board (but that's just my opinion!)
What I found shocking were statements like '40+ is too old, it's selfish' and 'I think it's wrong people having kids at such old ages' WTF?????. Sure, everybody's entlitled to an opinion, but I for one found her way of expressing hers to be insensitive and downright insulting.

 

[kazlin]

rite i have had enough of this, yes im new and i was just wonderin what other peoples views were on this i never ment to cause one bit of trouble or hurt anyone, so i will apologise.... Sorry to anyone who has been hurt or offended by what i have wrote.
It was just my personal opinion.


As for being called a troll, i think you are bang out of order on that and will be complaining to admin as you do not know me and are slatin me on my views. im very hurt at the fact people have just slated me for what i think.

FoxyMummy, if anyone was going to be affected by your opinion, I could have been one of them. I am not! You are entitled to have your own view. Please don't feel upset...we're all adults here.

There's no hard feelings on my part towards you

 

[tuck]

Hey Kazlin,

you can do it, I wasted 17 years with my ex!!!! ( ), My DH is also 8 years younger than me and our 1st baby is 1 month old, oh and I was 40 in March, couldnt be happier and we've talked about ttc no2 maybe next year.

 

[kazlin]

Hey tuck, that's fantastic, best of luck with TTC no2, oh and thank you xxxxx

 

[Kylie1007]

Personally, at 18 there was loads I wanted to do like go to uni and enjoy life, work for a while without the tie of a baby. Looking back, at 18 I was still a baby myself having just left school. I'll be 28 when I have my 1st and I'm quite happy with that - although I would have really liked to have been a year or so younger I guess. A friend of mine who had a baby in Nov is the same age as me but her husband is 47ish and I just think that by the time that child is 10, he'll be nearing 60 and not up to running around with a pre-teen!

 

[Becks&Riley]

rite i have had enough of this, yes im new and i was just wonderin what other peoples views were on this i never ment to cause one bit of trouble or hurt anyone, so i will apologise.... Sorry to anyone who has been hurt or offended by what i have wrote.
It was just my personal opinion.


As for being called a troll, i think you are bang out of order on that and will be complaining to admin as you do not know me and are slatin me on my views. im very hurt at the fact people have just slated me for what i think.

lol good luck ...

 

[Tangerinedream]

When asking what is the right age to have a baby you need to consider what you mean about right? Are you asking about being a good parent or being able to cope?

There cannot be a diffinitive answer as every woman is individual and everybody has different circumstances/backgrounds/beliefs/ideas/wants/needs etc. I dont think age is the main factor in who makes a good parent or not or whether they can cope. You get young mums and old mums and they can be equally good or bad.

I think there are many, many, many factors for example if you were brought up with or have experience with children and also what the woman has done prior to becoming a mum. By that I mean some women want to get an education/career before thinking about a family, others are happy to settle down young. I also think that a womans own maternal instinct is a big factor.

Ok, sorry for the essay

 

[Freya]

Interesting debate. I think there are fab mums who are 18 and fab mums who are 40+ - I think it matters more on the person rather than their age which I think has been said already on this topic.

I was 30 when I had my first child, 34 when had second and would like another in the next few year.

I was not ready or finacial stable enough to have a child at a younger age and I actually think I would have been a selfish mum at this age. I had a child when I felt ready and to the OP if you feel like this then who cares what anyone else thinks.

 

[lisa&alex]

i have to give my opinion here..

i think this thread was created because someone (sorry havent looked to see who you are) asked earleir how old is everyone becasue they had been looking in teen pregnancy thread and felt really old..

ok.. now to foxymummy - i find that your opinion is valuable, as is everyones and i feel that other people being angry at what she has said has obviously brought her to try and explain her opinions.
and even though the opinion might upset others everyone is still entitled to their own opinion no matter what, there are probably lots of people in the street looking down on teenage mothers in disgust.. and i even think that people who have replied to foxymummys posts have 'EGGED' her on and should have known better really..

noone has mentioned that a baby should come into a secure relationship.. which personally i find far more important that age, the parents should have a support network of friends and/or family and although some babies arnt planned i belive the child should be wanted, age.. is really irrelevant and the question what is the right age to become a mum? was bound to be contravertial.. there is no right age.. and we have no control over what age should be right.. i jsut hope that each child that comes into the world is loved, wanted and has a good family in a secure home - some may not be lucky enough to have it sadly. but fundamentaly it should be an important element. x

 

[Gemma & Jake]

I think that you should have a baby when you feel the time is right but I personally think the best age is in between 20 and 40. I'm not criticising anyone who has had a baby outside of these ages though as I know people who have had babies younger and older than this. I think that I had Jake at a good age (I was 22). I have done the whole clubbing every weekend thing already. I still like the occasional night out but luckily my Mum or MIL babysit. I like the fact that I will only be 40 when Jake is 18.

I think at whatever age you are though if it is a planned pregnancy you should make sure that yoiu are financially stable and able to look after your baby well.

 

[mummykay]

iv said this in other heated debates and i will say it again cos its pointless gettin riled up lol -

so long as the baby is looked after, fed, loved and all things nice etc etc then who cares, AGE AINT NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER!!!!!!!!!

the grim reaper dont wait for anyone so make the most out of life!!!

 

[libs]

.. and i even think that people who have replied to foxymummys posts have 'EGGED' her on and should have known better really..

No we replied to give over our opinion - if she's allowed her opinion why aren't we allowed ours.

Excuse me - just off to tell my DH how selfish he is thinking about bringing another child into our loving marriage and family - seeing as he's 54 and likely to die before the child is 40. I'll have to remind him next time we take our DS and nephews and nieces on holiday not to run round with them as he's not up to running around with pre- teens..

And the reason women used to get married and have children at 16 was because they started work at 14 and were likely to die earlier. Also child survival rates were a lot lower so more children were conceived. Again not a dig at teen mums - I was one

 

[lisa&alex]

.. and i even think that people who have replied to foxymummys posts have 'EGGED' her on and should have known better really..

No we replied to give over our opinion - if she's allowed her opinion why aren't we allowed ours.

Excuse me - just off to tell my DH how selfish he is thinking about bringing another child into our loving marriage and family - seeing as he's 54 and likely to die before the child is 40. I'll have to remind him next time we take our DS and nephews and nieces on holiday not to run round with them as he's not up to running around with pre- teens..

And the reason women used to get married and have children at 16 was because they started work at 14 and were likely to die earlier. Also child survival rates were a lot lower so more children were conceived. Again not a dig at teen mums - I was one

oh behave will you..

if you had read all of my post you would have seen that i said EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion. perhaps this has got so out of hand because people are only reading what they want to read.

the only people who deide what age they are when they decide to have a child is themselves.. noone else.. i just find it childish when people intentianally pick on others because they dont agree with their views. its bullying.
and to be honest its no on.

 

[MissGobby]

i am 19 (20 in 3 days ) and my fiance is 21 (22 in Nov) i feel like, well we both feel, like this is the right time in our lives for a baby, like you said, im not much of a clubber and have done things in my life that i wanted to e.g. go on holiday, pass my driving test, have a car etc etc and feel like this is the next step - we cant wait to become parents!!

 

[Misslarue]

And the reason women used to get married and have children at 16 was because they started work at 14 and were likely to die earlier. Also child survival rates were a lot lower so more children were conceived. Again not a dig at teen mums - I was one

Also 'living in sin' was shamed upon and few people had sex before marriage. So it was natural to get marry early, obvioulsy if you wanted to get at it! Luckily todays views are more relaxed as most of us would have married our first serious boyfriends. Phew!!

For me anything under the age of 26 would have been too young. But THAT'S ME. I would have been too selfish. Until I had Dan I was never in one place, I wanted to see the world and enjoy every moment of it.
I would never have been mature enough to cope............and its true a baby is very hard work. You have no idea until you are caring for one 24/7! But now I have lived a little, I have been all over the world and I feel that I have experienced a bit of 'me' time. When you have a child it is no longer about you and that child becomes your priority. I am now wiser and patient enough to love, care and provide for my gorgeous beautiful lil boy who I love completely.
But again thats me! Some people are born to be parents! people less selfish than me can do a wonderful job of bringing up a child at ANY age. After all, according to mother nature, it's the whole reason we're here!