what age would you say is too old and too young....

[libs]

[quote="lisa&alex":td9u2rjc].. and i even think that people who have replied to foxymummys posts have 'EGGED' her on and should have known better really..

No we replied to give over our opinion - if she's allowed her opinion why aren't we allowed ours.

Excuse me - just off to tell my DH how selfish he is thinking about bringing another child into our loving marriage and family - seeing as he's 54 and likely to die before the child is 40. I'll have to remind him next time we take our DS and nephews and nieces on holiday not to run round with them as he's not up to running around with pre- teens..

And the reason women used to get married and have children at 16 was because they started work at 14 and were likely to die earlier. Also child survival rates were a lot lower so more children were conceived. Again not a dig at teen mums - I was one

oh behave will you..

if you had read all of my post you would have seen that i said EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion. perhaps this has got so out of hand because people are only reading what they want to read.

the only people who deide what age they are when they decide to have a child is themselves.. noone else.. i just find it childish when people intentianally pick on others because they dont agree with their views. its bullying.
and to be honest its no on.[/quote:td9u2rjc]

I posted once at the beginning giving a reasoned view of both ends of the scale. I came back as I don't really appreciate my OH being called selfish. How exactly is that bullying? I'm not picking on anyone, I made no personal remarks - she asked a question and got replies. If you only want replies in a thread that agree with the original poster - write that in the original message and I won't bother reading. Honestly - if you make a statement that you know will offend some of the members of a forum, its no use getting upset when people respond. If she wanted to just say I think over 40s shouldn't have children then say that - don't wrap it up in a question.

And thank god I didn't have to marry my original boyfriend, although thinking about it - he was a better bet than my DS's biological father

 

[jenna]

I got married when i was 16 and have been married for almost 2 years now. we got engaged about 4 weeks after my 16th birthday. I dont think there is any thing wrong with young people getting married or having kids as i think its down to how mature you are. Me and my husband have been married a lot longer than some 20 odd year olds. It has nothing to do with age, we are both well suited for each other, we have our ups and downs but who doesnt?!? At the end of the day we are both very happy with each other and we have a great relationship and i can honestly say i cant imagine life with out him.

Having children is the same, it has nothing to do with age. If you are mature enough and capable to look after a child and it feels right for you then it doesnt matter. Some people dont feel ready or have problems concieving till they are older and i respect people who wait till its right for them not other people.

Please dont argue about this any more because are just taking things the wrong way and im all teary reading this. cry You are all lovely ladies and its silly getting snappy with each other about it.

 

[kimmumof2]

i dont think age makes a difference. my DD was planned and i was 16, this is becus i lost a baby at 15. i had been in a relationship for 3 years and i am still with him almost 9 years. i took my g.c.s.e's and i went to colege. i am uni studying to be a social worker. at the other end of the scale i think that it is fine to. as for the argument about older people dying before their child is grown up, i could die tomorrow and leave my child behind. we never know whats round the corner. age is a number, live life to the full and cherish every moment no matter what you want out of life.

i know great mums that are old and great mums that are young and i also know bad parents at both ends of the scale, so to me it doesnt make a difference.

xxxxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

ok as most of u know i was 17 wen i fell pregnant i was with my ex Braydons 'sperm donnor' for 5 yrs and i was no where near ready for kids, i was very immature and acted more like a 12 yr old than a 17 yr old, wen me and my ex started sleeping together he was told that there was no way i was having an abortion if i ever fell pregnant (we were using contraception) wen i did fall pregnant he buggered off, and i had to grow up so quickly, and i did my life from the moment i found out i was pregnant became baby, stopping spending money on anything i didnt need and starting to buy nappies,
now my son is a very gorgous 20 month old, and i have never been so happy or proud before in my life, he is my life and i am so proud of him , i may have been very young and VERY immature but i grew up and now life evolves around my baby,
so in a very long way around it
i think if u can care for ur baby and love it and look after it why shouldnt u have a baby ??
better than people who have babys for the sake of it

 

[sophie-jordan]

i dont personally think age is an issue
aslong as your baby is loved, looked after, fed & in a safe place whats the deal?
i was 14 when i had Kiyanna and 17 with Elise n yer im pregnant again, ive got my own house, pay all my bills and look after my kids the best i can but does that mean im a bad mum bacuase i was a teen mum? we r just as capable as any1 else.
and as 4 the "16 is the legal age" how many people didnt have sex until they were 16??
dont wnt 2 corse any more arguement but somethings that were said do aqtually hurt, enough people slag u off when your a teen mum without thinking your not accepted aswell maybe its just the hormones that are setting me off lol
x sophie x

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

I was a teen mum, getting pregnant at 16, and yes it was bloody hard and I had a lot of growing up tp do, lost all my friends and basically had no time to enjoy being a young free woman before having the commitment of a baby, BUT....it was the best thing that ever happened to me!

I did find it hard to cope and needed a lot of support, but not for too long, I son relished in the role of being mummy and had a 2nd daughter at 19 who was planned.

Im now 32 and trying for number 3 with my new partner, and I would like 2 more so yes I may well be having a baby in my 40's. I dont think theres anything wrong with that.

I think the original poster is quite young, and may see a 40 year old as old, when thats really not the case, but young eyes see things differently. When shes in her 30's she may be saying the same about 60 year olds When I was her age anyone over 25 was "old"

 

[budge]

the reason i think 40 plus is too old is from personal experience at having an ''older mum''
as a child i was teased a lot for having older paretns and now i am a mum myself i have parents who are in their 70's and too old to hel pme out etc. I have never had grandparetns and i feel quite grieved about that. plus i feel grienved at having missed out on what my friends get with their younhger mums and dads.
im glad my mum had me and all that but i just feel long term for the child its not ideal.

 

[trixipaws]

it really depends on the individual...

18 would not hav been ideal for me coz i had no job, no home of my own, no boyfriend and a heavy drugs habit- AND i was a very silly very immature 18-year-old!

not everyones like me tho!