Cant cope

[Jayceesmumma]

I hate him. I really do. I think he's cheating on me. He wont stop drinking all the time. He never cares about anything about me or the kids. He ignores jaycee. shouts at her. drinks all our money. I pay all the bills not him. His money all goes on drink and loans he got for drinking (3 grand piss up)
I dont know how to cope anymore. Hes been this way since i fell pg with jaycee. We split up and he stayed sober for 9 months and we got on so well and were happy again.. then i got pg again and he found and excuse to 'celebrate' and get back onto drinking.
He even says hed rather spend money on himself than on us! I cant do this anymore! Ive had enough! I keep taking him back coz he makes me feel bad after as if im overreacting to his drinking.
I hate him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dee1985]

Babe

you can do better you deserve better, i remember before you saying you had problems im so sorry its still this way.

your a great girl a brilliant mum you and Jaycee deserve better.

you Jaycee and your new baby thats all you need a fresh start the 3 of you

he is a prat loosing you but will he ever change?

i admit me and kris have had bad problems where i thought he would never change but in the end her did. so if you think there is any hope then still try and work at it.

 

[Emmylou]

Awww Jo

Its best that you have it out with him, maybe if you could ask him to move out too so that you have space to think properly. It will give him the kick up the bum he obviously needs to step back and see what he is doing to you.

If it isn't working you are better off just you and your girls, my mom made the same decision 6 weeks before I was born, and was left with my bro & me, but although it was the hardest thing for her to do at the time, she had support from friends and family, and it turned out to be the best decision she ever made........it won't be easy, but if it makes you happier in the long run then its worth it.

You mustn't take him back just because you feel bad for him, you have to put you & your girls first and if you are unhappy then he's not worth that!!

You are a fabulous girl, you deserve to wake up every morning feeling like a princess, and if he isn't making you feel that way then you need to try to get it sorted, either with him or without him.

PM me if you wanna chat hun

 

[cloud9]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jo))))))))))))))))

You don't have to put up with this, you obviously don't need him finacially and if he isn't supporting you emotionally then what is he giving you?

You deserve to be treated better than this. He should be looking after you at this point.

You are not over reacting to his drinking if he has got 3 grand of debt from it he has a serious issue...Do whats right for you and the girls

 

[missac]

I agree with everyone else, you do what is right for you and your girlies, and as Em says, you deserve to wake up everyday like the princess you are

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Dionne- The forum wouldnt let me post last night for some reason, but this was my reply
Thanks honey, i remember the probs u was having with Kris were similar to mine, im so glad you managed to work things out
I wish we could but i really see no hope! His drinking is top priority to him! Except sex! He calls porn lines and exchanges numbers with women for sex chat.. i answered his fone once and it was some girl looking for him! And he acted as if it was my fault and none of my damn business! It hurts so much!! He has always had a high sex drive but theres no excuse for that! He bought a seperate fone so he could have phone sex with other women. I found it and there was nothing but womens names in the phone book! Thats the 2nd secret fone he's had! He said all the girls names were barmaids from the pub at work, then yesterday he said he hasnt got any of their numbers and then i said about his secret fone, and he was umming and aahing
Why?? Why does he do this to me? The stress of this is giving me braxton hicks, bloody painful ones!!!
I listened to him on the phone (he thought he hung up) just now and heard him arrange to meet some girls with his male slag of a mate, and he said, let them wait a bit, the longer they wait, the wetter they get! and i called back and questioned him and he said it wasnt him that said that!! I know his fooking voice for god sake!! He thinks noone mentioned anything like that! I heard his mate on the phone, 'its just me and chris down here now, come meet us' then chris said about letting them wait etc.. It hurts so much i fucking hate him!!!


Thank you girls so much, i dont know what id do without all of you, i have noone here i can talk to about anything
The only major problem we have in breaking up, is that his dad is living with my mum So that causes all sorts of problems as u can imagine!
He keeps contradicting himself this morning and wont reply to certain questions. Guilty as charged.
Ive had enough. I cant do this to my kids. Been having bad BH all night and morning, even as i type now! My back is KILLING me!!
The woman who has bought my sofas from ebay is bloody late! Im not in a happy chappy mood today
Its hard enough with the thought of coping with 2 kids let alone being a single mum with 2 kids! Jaycees very clingy to me and i have only spent 3 days out her life away from her (i was in hosp with this pg)! Noone has took her out for the day, noone has put her to bed, if my mum babysits, she has to be in bed asleep before i can get ready then go out, and even if i get in at 2am, ive still gotta get up for her at 7am! Just someone getting her up and giving her breakfast would be nice! She always gets up earlier at my mums
Sounds like i just complain all the time
God please let my family be happy

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Oh god I feel for you, i know how you feel my ex was like this. You really need out of this relationship. Im the first person to suggest giving it time etc but seriously, this guy doesnt deserve you and you dont deserve to be treated like this! What a pig!

You shouldnt have to worry about your mum and his dad, you cant stay with him just for thier sakes babe, you have to put yourself and your children first. And please dont worry about being a single mum - the reaosn it seems like such a hard thing to do is because you have him to contend with and all the hurt and stress he brings into your daily life. Once he is out of the picture you WILL cope, you obviously want the best for your children and that intent is all you need.

Im on msn if you want to pm me your addy, I really do know what your going through and im about all day if you want to chat

 

[SarahB]

I'm so sorry things are so bad for you. As the others have said, you deserve so much better than this. It sounds as though he has absolutley no respect for you and doesn't seem to care that he is causing you so much distress, especially when you are pregnant. I think the only way you will be happy is to get away from him

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I've just seen this and I honestly cant believe what I've been reading - I remember you saying you had problems with him drinking but I didnt realise things were this bad

Like the others have said you need to get out of the relationship, I know it must be hard to take that step and actually leave him but it cant be any harder than how you're feeling now.

I feel for you so much. Its a shame because you said when he stopped drinking things were great. If he chose to start again though then its his loss when you go, he cant expect you to live like that

 

[Dee1985]

hun we are all here for you, kick him 0ut he sounds so nasty and vile!!!

your so stunning too his eyes should not be wondering any where away from you.

he has it so easy at the moment.

a great mrs looks after his child does every thing then he just goes out as he pleases. give him the shock of if life and get rid of him.

xxxx

 

[cloud9]

Jo

I can completely understand the wanting to be a happy family eapecially at this time in your pregnancy...do you think its realistic?

maybe your focus should be on getting you more support, maybe there is a mother and baby group or simular near you where you would be able to meet up with other mom's.

You are not complaining either,You are unhappy and not suprisingly so either.

 

[Jen79]

God he sounds like a right t*sser. You would be better off on your own I am sure. You dont need the worry of debt and wondering what mood he is going to be in. It sounds to me like he is pretty useless when it comes to helping you out so what would there be to miss?! As for the sex line business, I would be wanting to cut his balls off! Your post has made me really angry because no one deserves to be treated with so little respect. Look after yourself and your girls and sod him!!

 

[mummykay]

get rid of him Jo, by sounds of it he does bugger all with Jaycee so all ur girls need is you!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate the time youve taken to read and reply to my ramblings
Im feeling a bit better about it all now. Im focusing on my Jaycee and her little sister, coz they are all that matter to me! Ive told him i dont want him at the birth and ill let him know when she's here so he can use it to 'celebrate' at the pub
He's all 'ill change, ill look after you all' blah blah blah.. ive heard it all before and im not buying it again!
When i had Jaycee he was at the pub everynight without fail. No help with her whatsoever. I didnt mind not getting help, it was just the fact he'd rather go to the pub than see his daughter. He showed NO interest in her til her 2nd birthday when she was a toddler..not a baby anymore. He's always tried to make her grow up too fast, just coz he doesnt like babies! Even while i was pregnant, i had bad BH and thought i was in labour many times (as you do) and every time id call him, his m8s would answer and say he's passed out in the loo or on the canal
Luckily enough my waters broke at 6:30am and he was sober.. he soon left me in hosp for the pub over the road tho.
After i had her i couldnt eat..felt too sick..so when i finally wanted a cheese roll, i asked him to get me one from the cafe...3 hours later he comes back with NO roll, and drunk. He saw a mate who works at the hosp and they went to the pub to 'celebrate' The cafe was shut by the time he got back.
Theres so many things to tell, just not enough room to type it all lol!
Oh, another one.. we went out to the football club for a live band night.. i was about the stage i am now..swollen feet, aching all over, waddling, tired etc.. 11pm came and he wanted to move on down the hill to the other pub as it stayed open later.. i said no coz i was shattered etc.. he said he was going to the loo and then never came back He LEFT me and got a lift down the pub! I got in my car and drove straight down there and had a right go at him! He didnt leave til he finished his pint!! He made me bloody wait!!!
I REFUSE to go thru that again!!
He'd come home with scratches on his back and then have a go when i ask where from! 'Laney wants your sexy body' written all over his shirt!

I must be the thickest person out there

 

[mummykay]

OMG Jo uv just described a complete and utter tw@t!!!
there is no way he is good enough for u and ur girls,im so mad right now!!!!!!
chuck him, take him to the cleaners money wise and ul be a whole lot better for it!!!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I would love to, but he has no money Its all in drink! His bar tab gets paid £100 a month (its about £800 at the mo at least) He's got 2 loans to pay off (they were for drink) £200..he has his overdraft of £1400 which is maxed out..he gets paid £1200 and its gone within a week. £200 a month goes into a seperate account for me to use for Jaycees stuff, but by week 2 he's taken it all out to spend on himself So basically all his wages go on his drinking. All the money i get goes on jaycees clothes our food bills bills bills!! Ive got 2 credit cards 2 debit cards all with £1000 limits (ive still got a few hundred left) and im just managing to get by.
Bought a crib for baby, £80, he said he'd pay..nope!
Bought a new sofa £700..said he'd pay..nope! Luckily ive got my maternity grant to cover that.. but its not the point. He should be paying for it all!

 

[mummykay]

he should be providing for his family, hes more like a little child than a man!!!! what do ur parents think of him???

 

[Jayceesmumma]

My mum HATES him! Its hard coz his dad is my mums OH (not married or anything) so they argue over us all the time, so i cant even talk to her about it And his dad doesnt even confront him He's more of a dad to jaycee. He takes her out every sunday to the pet shop for an hour Its the only time i ever get to myself!

 

[Urchin]

I can't believe this.

At first I wanted to say "Talk to him, tell him how you feel"

Now I just wanna say "GET RID OF HIM QUICK!!"

 

[cloud9]

Jo Why don't you just kick him out? you don't owe him anything...Why should you be supporting him while he decides if he wants to grow up or not. I'd take that £200 out the account as soon as its in there at least you would be getting that.