Very good reason for a bfp :(

[sunnyland27]

Hi, sorry for the following being so depressing. I need to get it out.
I went to a family party today and my brother told me I need to go see my dad soon because it looks like he doesn't have long to live. He has COPD and has been ill for a long time but I haven't seen him recently because I've kist been so busy and wrapped up in my own problems, caring for my grandparents etc. We have had a turbulent relationship (he can be very difficult) but he was a full-time dad, very intelligent and skilled in anything he ever tried to do. He taught me almost everything I know.

I just feel like he'd love to know about his future grandchild and that it could maybe heal a few wounds and open up some kind of dialogue before he dies. We neve have anything positive to talk about. It also might explain why I have been so involved in my own life for a while.

I know there's no chance really, but it would just be amazing to get a bfp this month x

 

[sunnyland27]

Oh and at the family party every single conversation involved "so when do you think you'll have your own little ones?" and I was surrounded by little kids, including the new additions- a set of identical twin girls! They're lovely but I just wanted to cuddle them forever. I think we have strong genes from that side of the family so my kids will probably look like them... If I ever get to have any!

 

[xxcharliexx]

Hiya, didn't want to read and run! I just wanted to wish u lots of luck this cycle, u really deserve a BFP by the sounds of it! Xx

 

[LD1978]

Oh hun I'm so so sorry that's just so sad about your dad I hope you get your bfp soon xxx

 

[sunnyland27]

Thanks girls. Thank god I've got thus forum to talk about these things. You're all so lovely and are the only ppl who understand the bfp NEED. I'm feeling a bit better this morning (no thanks to these pregnancy-type symptoms messing with my head again). I have about half a % of hope this month so it was silly even thinking about it.

My dad has defied all odds by staying healthy-ish until 2 yrs ago. He's a walking advert against smoking and drinking now though. I'm sure we'll find some way of talking through things without any happy news. I'm going to do my best to see him a lot; Im a natural-born carer so at least I know there's something I can do to help him.

My OH is working away at the moment but he's so supportive and will help me through this and help me stop feeling so guilty. We will get our little bfp eventually- I couldn't help thinking it was urgent last night.