Upset over the usual thing....

[nickilubs]

I am p***ed off once again!

Okay.....I don't care about porn! I don't give a toss but the thing that REALLY REALLY REALLY and I can not state how much it does annoy me that IF YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT PORN...THEN ADMIT TO IT!

I have just seen my boyfriend got a email from a forum....so me being nosey and also admittedly insecure, searched the name.....basically its a forum with loads of girls on all getting naked and having one handed typing with guys.

Fine if he is on their to look (as there is pictures) then do but I would be pished if hes actually typing to these girls.....I know its just words but thats how we fell in love (obviously not in such a seedy way). And that would upset me....but if he could just tell me then I would now know if he is or isnt talking to these other girls or if he was just curious. But he hasnt told me and he has always denied it and says he doesnt like porn. But I know he does as I know about "his cousins" stash of dvds.

FFS I just feel like if he feels he has to lie to me about something as stupid as porn then what else is he lying about. I have been here before I'm so fed up of being treated like a clueless bint.....I just think I am owed a little more respect than that. But if it was just porn he was looking at then why try and hide it and this is why I am in a state because now in my stupid fecked up head I think he might be talking to other girls.

I just think great heres me getting fat and ugly having his baby feeling like sh*t and getting up at 9am to go to work. And he can go and talk to a whole bunch of women that can offer him so much more and he has jumped at the chance.

I'm so sorry if this makes no sense all I seem to be doing today is crying and this was the last thing I expected to see.

 

[keli]

Sorry no advice but sounds like you need a xx

 

[nickilubs]

I feel a bit better now. Just wish I didn't look....I feel so stupid. I knew what it was going to be but "had" to see for myself....and well done to me I did and once again I don't like what I seen and now I have to sit here with it rallying round my head because I don't know how to ask. I love him so much just why couldn't he tell me. Why is it me that feels soooo guilty because hes keeping a secret.

I just cant stop thinking of the man I love who I'm having his child with going on to a site and possibly talking to other girls about something that too me is to do with love and affection, why would he want to share that with someone else if he loved me?

Grrrrrr Im soooo stupid and I'm reading far too much into this....f***ing hormones and free sex sites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lauramumof2]

how about fighting fire with fire. Look into some porn sites yourself, leave the history page open so he can see what you have been doing. He can hardly pull you up about it without owning up to it himself.

These sites are surprisinly lame. And I doubt very much that the lovely ladies in the pics are ones doing the typing, probably some randy old granny trying to top up her pension

 

[nickilubs]

Heheeheeee yehhhh makes you wish hehe.

Anyways we had a talk he was asking if i was okay and I just kinda blurtd it out I said I was sorry and I know it shouldn't upset me but it did and he said he was the one who should of been saying sorry. And I cried lots and he hugged me lots and he said that he was curious and stuff and bored sat at home so we cuddled and he said he wishes he never looked coz it was really nasty. But he also said he didn't realize how much it would upset me.

So now I am going to finally eat something and then go to bed and try to makes him forget them other girls coz a computer screen cant do what I can...

 

[meg_bellamy]

aww glad you guys sorted it out! Sounds like you have a really sweet OH at least he knows how you feel about it now!

 

[trixipaws]

aww, glad u guys sorted things out

 

[Miss.Monroe]

ah brilliant, i am glad you had a talk, things like this that upset you should alway always be talked about, or they just eat you up inside.

i must admit ive started feeling insecure now that my belly is getting a bit bigger :S

i dont mind porn at all my OH has tonnes of it. But i dont think i would be happy with him going onto a site and typing and talking to girls.

glad you got it off your chest and sorted it out!