Feel so deflated!

[x_PlaceboDanii]

Im pretty emotional so come in here to have a whine and a moan about my fiance.

So far this relationship has been a breeze, in fact i love him more than anything, id happily do anything for him. But the way he makes me feel at the moment, i just dont know. We've been together a year and 7 months and engaged for a year and a months.

I dont know what his problem is?..Why must he feel the need to look at porn?..Am i not good enough anymore?, i dont mind the whole looking at porn in moderation, he's a bloke. There'd be something wrong if i went on his laptop history and it'd be free of porn. (If only). Not only do i now have a problem with his porn loving, that i find pictures of lasses with their boobs hanging out in his downloads & my received files folder, and one of the lasses is on his facebook, its not major but you can see her underwear and her getting a tattoo in a rather private place.

Before i confronted him about it and he made up the excuse that it was an old picture and he hadn't deleted it yet. I went on a few months after that took place only to find it was still there, ended up deleting it myself. I feel like this whole relationship is based on nothing. The whole year and 7 months we've been together has probably meant nothing to him. Id hate to think that but thats just how it feels.

Im 9 weeks pregnant with his child. Am i really that unattractive now im starting to get fat?. I've tried so hard to just block it all out but now ive just had enough, i dont know where to turn. I dont want to finish on such stupid grounds, not especially now im carrying his baby. I love him but i just cant see through the mass amounts of porn!!

 

[BevG]

actually hun it has nothing to do with how you look, hes a man and theyre quite often this pathetic. one of my ex's did this a lot and it really isnt about you or your relationship, its cos they have such poor imagination that they need a basis for their dumb fantasies. they cant just think of a hot girl and whack off, they have to actually look at one, and apparently its never as good if its their actuall missus, its much hornier if its a strange girl.
they are that dumb and ive found that you either a. accept it if you can get them to be honest about it and just lay down rules like no real ppl, no chatting up girls online etc
or b. end it

they never change when they say they will, they wont stop looking at porn. i count cybersex and chatting girls up online as cheating but some ppl dont, i was mostly angry at being lied to and having it hidden from me. im completely open with my OH and he is with me, he has naked women as screensavers on his phone and i dont mind as theyre just pictures, he dosent know the girls and dosent talk to them or any other girls like that. i even comment on them lol. the minute i got lied to it would become a problem.

i think you should talk to him about it, tell him how you feel, lay out some rules on what you can accept and give him a chance to abide by them

 

[NinjaKitty]

I agree with laying down rules. Being in contact with girls is a no no to me too. Generic porn is just a whatever. Tell him how you feel and let him know what is unacceptable to you.

 

[Froslass]

I don't like porn at all. I get that guys are visual and need visual stimulation more than women, but it sounds like your OH may have an addiction if he's constantly watching it?

Tell him how sick it makes you feel and how your not sure if you can see your relationship continuing under the current circumstances..

In my opinion if your man loves you, and you asked him to stop watching porn he'd do it - whether he thinks it's unreasonable or not. If he loves you, tell him how it makes you feel and he should stop xx

Sit him down and talk to him, tell him what you've told us xx

Hope your okay x

 

[Geminiblue]

I went out with someone with a sex addiction it started out just looking at porn. I wish Id have told him that it made me feel uncomfortable. I agree, I wouldnt leave him over it at this stage. There are other stages to go through, like talking to him about it. I feel more sensitive about how I look when pregnant like many women, explain this and see where you go from there. Massive hug xxx

 

[dyscochick]

I think you should talk to him and set some boundary's for his porn watching. Also do remember hun that at 9 weeks you are feeling emotional, hormonal and vulnerable, i'm not taking away from how you feel, but try and rationalise with how you felt before pregnancy cos it does awful things to our emotions!

 

[Daisy2011]

Hi Its difficult to deal with something that feels so wrong.
Thing is blokes compartmentalise sex away from love. One is just a physical thing any hot gilr will do and variety is king.

It doesnt mean that he isnt in love with you or committed to you. It probably does mean that he is shit at telling you how he feels about you. I think that if you are worried then see if he can reassure you and make you feel loved and safe if he can then the porn is not so bad. If he cant then the porn is just a symptom of the whole But either way rather than have a row try to let him know how vulnerable and unsure you are feeling and that the porn is makingthis worse.

Talk to him though. and get separate computers then you dont have to live with it.
Love Daisy

 

[ISH]

Porn is very impersonal - I watch it every now and then, and I wouldn't mind if OH did too (he's too prude to!)

But only seeking certain people and adding them on Facebook is something very different indeed. I wouldn't be best pleased if I were you either.

 

[Daisy2011]

Or else start leaving pictures of giant penised men around from mags/maybe a calandar and i bet it wont be long before someone is starting to feel a bit insecure and intimidated himself

King dong step three
x daisy