Things I wish I'd known first time round

[MrsR]

I thought it might be nice for second (or more) time mums to share the things they wish they'd known about labour before it happened to give first timers a bit of 'insider' knowledge. Mine would be;

I wish I'd known to get as much sleep/rest as possible in early labour as I got really tired in the later stages.

Anyone else want to share?

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I wish I was calmer as it's a really scary time! I wanted to push way before I was ready but the midwife kept saying not too then when it was time too I closed my legs and said I didn't want too lol
I also wish I kept more mobile instead of staying on the bed the whole time

 

[karenandbump]

I wish I'd really relaxed during my few weeks off before the birth cos it was the last 'me' time for a while x x x

 

[JJ Mum]

Well I didn't ever do labour, (I wish) so I still count sections as my version of labour, so:

I wish I had the courage and conviction to do it my way, and not try to follow the health visitor and midwifes way of child rearing in the ealry few days, within reason monther nature will show you the way!

Also wish someone had warned me of the percentage of planned section babies that can end up with wet lungs and in special care , not to prevent it, as that can't happen, but to make me more prepared to not have my baby straight away, (2 out of 3 had this issue)

 

[FebMum2Be]

I wish I had of got more sleep too.. It's so hard though, once your labour has started you are so excited it's almost impossible! Next time I will definitely get back into bed rather than sit on the edge of it waiting and hoping for another niggle! I will also stand my ground with the MW's next time.. The MW who delivered Odhrán was FAB but the MW's I had when I was in my room I felt a bit overpowered! Telling me to wake Odhrán for a feed, coming in and telling me to change his nappy even when it had just been done, next time I will be politely telling them to sling their hook x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i was going to say the sleep thing! my contractions started at 2am and i was so excited i couldnt sleep! by 1am the next morning i was fooked and to stand you ground too, its your baby and you should do everything how you want it! trying to think what else now! will be back!

 

[MrsR]

I was really lucky with DD as my MW encouraged me to listen to my body and to keep mobile, she encouraged me to try the birthing ball and the birthing pool etc x I definately agree with listen to your body as well as the professionals opininon. Hope this helps at least somebody x

 

[serenitylove]

i didnt have normal as such labour i was induced and ended in csec so my main advice would be go to antenatal classes as doing this took alot of the fewar away for me when things went a bit tits up quiet quickly i understood exactly what they were doing and why because it had all been covered in classes x

 

[titch]

i wish i had demanded my own room at some stage, ihad a very unusual birth experence and barely slept for 4 days, really affected my bonding with LO and think i wouldve coped better in my own space.

 

[Squeakz]

this is a really lovely thread to have started. this is my first baby and it's nice to see what other people feel in retrospect they should have done and will be doing next time around! its really quite comforting and has jst given me a bout of confidence! however im probably not going to be able to sleep when everything kicks off lol!
x

 

[Jessika]

i wish i had known just how much you bleed afterwards...the books etc mention a heavy period...i thought i was dying as i was loosing clots and what seemed like loads of blood, only to find out it's perfectly normal x

 

[Stunned]

This is useful! Note to self: sleep when you can!

 

[jellybean]

I also wish I had taken heed of people telling me to rest in my weeks before my due date as that was the last 'me time' I had. I also wish I had appreciated my bump and pregnancy alot more first time around as I will never have that time again as with my second, I was too busy really to notice as was always busy running after my 3yr old!

 

[MrsK]

The first time round I hadnt a clue about before, during or after!! Before - I would have rested more, During - Relax as much as you can, I just walked around the bed in a tizzy and After - been prepared for the blood loss but more the sore Boobs (nightmare if it hadnt have been for cauliflower leaves)

 

[mummynmummy2b]

Oooh i love this thread!!

I wish that I had been more assertive with the midwives. Its my body and I know how i'm feeling. To be told repeatedly that I was only in early labour and should go home and try sleep was ridiculous. I was contracting 3:10 and was in a lot of pain (and i'm pretty tough really) turns out DS was a deflexed head and OP so was completely wedged. My mw who did my debrief said that those things in ocmbination cause transition like contractions!!

I wish i'd not had an epidural and ended up flat on my back with numb legs for 12 hours! Combined with LO being in an OP position this really wasnt going to help!!

I wish that i'd pushed the docs and mw's to actually find out why things were progressing so slowly rather than just trying to actively manage my labour (ARM, Syntocin, forceps etc etc) They would have discovered babys position and realised there was no chance of him coming out naturally and saved me going through 60+ hours of labour to end up with a section anyway!!!

Guess it all comes down to being more assertive and realising that when its my body, my baby I know best!!!!

Ha ha, as you can imagine my birth plan is as long as my arm!!
xx

 

[titch]

oh i feel like I couldve written that myself too! I was on antenatal ward before labour because of my BP and wish I hadnt been so bloomin brave through my contractions, they were very surprised when they finally put me on a trace, I was desparate to go to labour ward and have OH with me but cos babies head wasnt engaging, they were having none of it. In the end we had a section too, and the surgeon said baby was so entangled in the cord he was anchored to the spot and was never going to engage. I shouldve caused more fuss!!

 

[mummynmummy2b]

Aw tiny, i read your birth story and really felt for you. It infuriates me that they just try and manage things rather than working out whats going wrong. All it would have taken for me was a mobile scan and i'd have been saved all that trauma. Same for you too i guess. They made me feel like I was being a right wimp and i knew i wasnt. Early labour = period like pain MY ARSE!!! I was practically crawling the walls. They didnt even try and show me how to do anything to get baby to turn like all fours or birthing ball etc.

I feel sorry for my mw this time!! I'm just going to be honest when i go in and say 'im probably going to be a bit of an awkward customer!'

How you doing now hun??
xxxx

 

[AugustMum]

I think Im just going to echo what everyone else has said really, and I wish I had been a bit more assertive with the midwives at certain points. My babys heart rate decreased 2 days before my induction and I was put on a trace but everything was fine so they sent me home. If I did it again I would have said I wanted to be induced that day, instead of making me wait. Id probably kick up a bit fuss to get my way as well lol.

During labour I wasn't offered gas and air as I wasnt considered to be in active labour, but I knew that I needed pain relief. They offered me pethadine, which I dont think they should of considering the babys heart rate had shown a big dip already, just 10 minutes before hand!

Deffinatly listen to what your body is telling you. Only you know how painful the contractions are and how your coping. Like tiny said as well...I wouldnt be brave through contractions again next time, I dont think they believed how far gone I was lol.

 

[titch]

we're doing well now thanks. im so glad to be home and over all the hospital rubbish. i still get teary when i tell people what happened but im sure time will heal! its just dissapointing more than anything cos i was all prepared with my hypnobirthing etc... and the whole experience was so opposite to that. i reassure myself that it was a special circumstance and everything they did saved my baby any prolonged lack of oxygen. but like you said, its so frustrating that it couldve been found sooner, and although i wouldve had the section, i think a planned section withouit 3 days sleep deprivation woudve been a lot less traumatic! we live and learn, good for you, make sure youre a very awkward customer this time!

 

[smess26]

i wish someone would of told me about the after birth bits pain of the milk coming in and the bleeding!! also dont drink orange jucie if you have stiches!!! OWWWWWWCCCHHHHH lol!!!