THE RIGHT TO KNOW!!

[Rosieroo]

you can not trust every one

This is the way my life is. I trust Matt, but that's it. I don't feel that other people would 'protect' her like me, not even my own family. My personal opinion is that she has a bed here, why would she need to stay elsewhere?

Maybe I will start to slightly let my guard down in the future, but I can't see it. If she resents me for keeping her wrapped up in cotton wool then so be it, but I'd rather it be that way then her resent me for not protecting her and her life being ruined.

 

[Dee1985]

i think it should be more openly spoke about in schools ect. and children should be brought up to no that there is no reason for any one to do any thing to them they dont want to be done, and no matter what they are threatend with to tell some one even a teacher if they dont want to upset mummy.

me and my children will openly speak about these things, i never once spoke to my mum about sex, still never have i would have felt wrong to tell my mum if i was ever abused as a child as i would have felt i was being naughty for talking about rude things


one thing i was told by my best friends mum is. never force your child to do something they are uncomfy with
eg. grandad gave you a sweet, awww give him a kiss.... child shrugs or turns there face then the mum says "now go on kiss grandad"

i think its a limit a child should never learn to break, they dont feel comfortable doing it. then they dont have too.

 

[beanie]

i think it should be more openly spoke about in schools ect. and children should be brought up to no that there is no reason for any one to do any thing to them they dont want to be done, and no matter what they are threatend with to tell some one even a teacher if they dont want to upset mummy.

me and my children will openly speak about these things, i never once spoke to my mum about sex, still never have i would have felt wrong to tell my mum if i was ever abused as a child as i would have felt i was being naughty for talking about rude things


one thing i was told by my best friends mum is. never force your child to do something they are uncomfy with
eg. grandad gave you a sweet, awww give him a kiss.... child shrugs or turns there face then the mum says "now go on kiss grandad"

i think its a limit a child should never learn to break, they dont feel comfortable doing it. then they dont have too.

 

[Dee1985]

 

[Lou]

I agree with you too Dionne. That was well said

Just remembered something that happened to me when I was little. We were on holiday in spain and we were round the pool. I was standing there and someone grabbed me from behind and picked me up and said "you are coming with me little girl". I was scared stiff then I realised it was my mum. She had done it to scare me so I wouldn't wander off on my own but it absolutley frightened the life out of me! It really stayed with me aswell, for a long time after I was too scared to leave my mums side and I wouldn't play with any other children or anything. I can see what my mum was trying to do but it was a bit too much.

I'm don't know what I'm going to tell Isaac about strangers. I don't want to scare him too much, just make him cautious.

Lou

 

[Dee1985]

I'm don't know what I'm going to tell Isaac about strangers. I don't want to scare him too much, just make him cautious.

Lou

no i dont no how im going to go about it either. think il say some thing like.

you can tell me any thing and if you come to me and tell me i will never ever tell you off and if you ever dont want to do something you never have to, if you are unsure then just ask mummy first. dont talk to strangers.
and bring them up to no thier fairy and dinkle are private and no one should ever see them. and to tell mum if any one trys to...

oh i dont no?? i dont want to scare them but dont want them to be affraid to say no

 

[beanie]

when I was younger we were living in Greater Manchester, it was around the time Brady and Hindley were taken onto the Moors to try and identify the location of the remaining bodies of their victims. The news was full of stories about them. Behind our house there was a big hill known as the Moor, I was playing on it and saw this elderly man staring at me. He came over and asked if I liked dogs and would I like to see some puppies (even potential paedos don't have original lines for me). I screamed at him that I wasn't allowed to go with him as he was a stranger and my mum said strangers were horrible and ran home. I was saying to my mum "Ian Brady tried to kill me" as I thought that was who he was. I can laugh at it but looking back, and as a parent myself my blood turns cold thinking what might have happened.

 

[Lou]

Its so difficult. The thing is aswell is that children talk to eachother and mums tell their children different things and teachers tell children things and it all needs to be more or less the same so they aren't confused. I remember being at primary school and taking letters home to my mum about men hanging around the school gates. When you are little though you are so innocent you don't know why a man would want to hang around the school gates. Its terrible that we are having to think about telling our bubbies about horrible people.

Lou

 

[Manda]

I think all convicted pedos should be castrated as this would take away the urge to want children or anyone for that matter

 

[hannahbet20]

I think all convicted pedos should be castrated as this would take away the urge to want children or anyone for that matter

yep thats what i think a fitting punishment, but i agree with dionne it needs to be more talked about because small children when abused dont know whats going on they have no idea what to do.

 

[kellie80]

Yes you definatly should have a right to know. Why should they have more rights than our children? I would not of moved in to the area where i live now if i had know they were in the area. One got hold of Jessica when she had just turned 4 and he was known to the police and moved into the area to get away. He only lived about 5 doors away. I had to keep her in after that until he moved away. Police didn't do a thing so he got away with it!

 

[pips]

Another thing, where do we draw the line, are we talking about all sex offenders, those who are sadistic, those who download child porn, those who have had sex with a 14 year old when they themselves were 17?

although i think paedos should be castrated before being let back into the outside world, i think if you want the right to know you should be able to have it BUT if you don't want to know you should be able to remain unknowing about the situation.

also, as a few of you have said the knowing will create more violence, that is absolutely correct and this can affect children more than a former offender just living in the neighbourhood-if they don't reoffend

i've been thinking and wondering how to tell zoé about strangers. i still don't know how to do it effectively. i know of 5 females, now women, who were abused, raped or gang raped when they were wee. they were nearly all told by their parents that strangers can be dangerous, not to talk or follow them and that if they are miserable they must be able to share it, bla bla bla... obviously that was not as effective as it should have been (understatement) you can't stop a child doing what they want to do, especially during adolescence

 

[Manda]

Maybe if they thought about the consequences (sp) ie being beat up maybe they would think twice about doing it, bet if they brought hanging back they wouldnt do it then, as for telling kids not to go with strangers you can tell them and they can listen but that aint gonna stop someone taking them, if anyone hurt Abi it would be the last thing they would do

 

[beanie]

Maybe if they thought about the consequences (sp) ie being beat up maybe they would think twice about doing it, bet if they brought hanging back they wouldnt do it then, as for telling kids not to go with strangers you can tell them and they can listen but that aint gonna stop someone taking them, if anyone hurt Abi it would be the last thing they would do

Many of them believe themselves to be very clever and that thye will not be caught so as a deterrance I don't think it would work.

 

[violet-glow]

there is only one solution...

every pedo should be kept in prison untill they die!

and have their balls cut off... so they can feel the pain!

ok whilst I see your point, what if there are no registered sex offenders near you (you find that out through Sarah's Law), how do you know that there are no unconvicted sex offenders. Research shows that on average 300 offences are committed before a sex offender is convicted.

That gets me so worried. I hate the thought of someone perving over zack or any child. I guess im going to have to teach him self defence at a young age lol. God its so worrying isnt it

 

[kellie80]

...

 

[Manda]

Manda wrote:
Maybe if they thought about the consequences (sp) ie being beat up maybe they would think twice about doing it, bet if they brought hanging back they wouldnt do it then, as for telling kids not to go with strangers you can tell them and they can listen but that aint gonna stop someone taking them, if anyone hurt Abi it would be the last thing they would do

Beanie wrote
Many of them believe themselves to be very clever and that thye will not be caught so as a deterrance I don't think it would

But surely it would deter some people same as any other crime if they brought back hanging there wouldnt be half as much crime as there is today even harsher prison sentances, my OH got stabbed 30 times whilst on duty and the bloke got 5 years - it was attempted murder ffs - he was also wanted for other crimes, and had already spent time in prison grrrrr

 

[beanie]

Manda wrote:
Maybe if they thought about the consequences (sp) ie being beat up maybe they would think twice about doing it, bet if they brought hanging back they wouldnt do it then, as for telling kids not to go with strangers you can tell them and they can listen but that aint gonna stop someone taking them, if anyone hurt Abi it would be the last thing they would do

Beanie wrote
Many of them believe themselves to be very clever and that thye will not be caught so as a deterrance I don't think it would

But surely it would deter some people same as any other crime if they brought back hanging there wouldnt be half as much crime as there is today even harsher prison sentances, my OH got stabbed 30 times whilst on duty and the bloke got 5 years - it was attempted murder ffs - he was also wanted for other crimes, and had already spent time in prison grrrrr

No. On the basis of individual deterrance it may deter someone not to reoffend, but on the basis of general deteraance it doesn't. To be deterred you have to believe you are going to be caught. Look at America, they have the death penalty yet there are still a massive numbers of murders being committed. Even harsher sentences probably would not be a deterrance but at least it would mean they are 1, off the streets, 2, able to be worked with for longer and 3, able to be monitored for longer.

 

[ToriElla]

urgh i hate the thought of this! This is something that turns my stomach! I wont be letting eva go to the toilets alone or anything like that. you can't even let your kids play out anymore if they are out of sight. I think that this is one of the worst crimes ever ever ever - any form of child abuse makes me feel physically sick.

I personally would want to know for my own peace of mind. It's awful that we have to live amongst people like that but there is no escaping it

 

[violet-glow]

Told my OH about this thread.... he told me about something that happend to him when he was younger.

He was on the motorway with his parents think he said he was about 10ish, he really needed to pee so they stopped at a rest stop with petrol station etc. He went into the toilets on his own, the toilet door lock was a bit dodgy so he had his foot up againt it to keep it closed... and this guy opened the door and pushed him into the toilet, my OH managed to get away... but what if he hadnt the guy didnt do anything to him, but god what if he did.

I hate OHs parents and that just makes me angry hearing that. My parents would NEVER let me go to the toilet on my own in somewhere other than my house. They always went with me. If I take my nephew out hes 7 I always go with him to the toilet, my parents drumed it into my head you should never let a child go to the toilet on their own in someone other than their own house. Cant believe OHs parents are so stupid arrgghh