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The last name...

keli

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For those of us that are not married whose last name did you chose/or are choosing?.. OHs or your own? Thought i'd decided LO would have OHs name but not too sure.. would like us all to have same name really but there no way we'll be getting married and not even sure we'll still be together when LO born!!!
 
my kids have batham (his) tomkins (mine) and when we got married in august we took the sir name batham-tomkins too
 
I kept my surname when hubby and I married. No law says you have to change your name to your husbands anyways and I like my surname and wanted to keep it. His is good also, but its not mine :p Hubby was more than happy with this aswell so its all good.

We've discussed what surname we'd like for children and while we have not made a final decision it looks like we'll use both surnames on the birth certificate and official documents (ie passport etc) but for school and younger years just use one of them. Then once child/ren are older they can take their pick of which name or use both. Of course offically they will have both surnames but you can drop one for everyday living if not wanting to use it.

That way its our child decides which we like the idea of. We come from different countries and backgrounds and want our kids to be able to embrace both sides of their parentage in the future.

On another note, my sister was not married to her OH when she had her son. She choose to go with her OH's surname. They split up a few years later and I think now she wishes she had used her own. Same with a good friend of mine. Gave 2 of her kids their fathers name and he turned out to be the OH from hell and she has now changed back to her maiden name (they married after kids came along). She'd rather that all her kids had her name as she has 3 kids but one of them has a different father as he was from an earlier relationship, so different surname.

If it were me and I was not married to my OH I'd probably stick with my own surname for any children.
 
keli said:
no way we'll be getting married and not even sure we'll still be together when LO born!!!

If I thought that I'd have the baby take my surname.
 
Jam has mine for that fact that I carried him for 9mths and all OH has to do to have his name changed to his is walk down the aisle lol :lol:
 
im pretty sure we are giving LO my OH's surname, i like the name better than mine anyway lol

im not sure that we will get married, its so much money nowadays but hopefully 1 day :?

if i thought that we were going to split up though i think id definately consider giving LO my surname
 
NickyB said:
keli said:
no way we'll be getting married and not even sure we'll still be together when LO born!!!

If I thought that I'd have the baby take my surname.

Agreed.... Tia had her father's surname...then we broke up and it was really difficult (paper work/authority wise) because we didn't share the same name... there was always this suspicion that I had kidnapped her.:roll:

So I had to spend a fortune changing Tia's surname to mine through deed poll. But that was back in 1999 when you didn't need the father's consent... now you do, so it won't be as easy.

If you do get married in the end, it's much easier to change the baby's name to the father's surname, than change it back to the mothers surname.

Alternatively you can give the baby a double barrelled surname....This baby will get a double barrelled name. In Spain women don't give up their surnames even if they do get married, and everyone has two surnames, one from the paternal father, and one from the maternal grandfather. Its easier for the baby tbh as Spaniards don't seem to understand the whole one surname thing. :roll:
 
thanks for your replies ladies it is a hard decision but think would prefer little one to have my name as really not sure what happening with OH. even tho we had decided on the names will have to re think now he might not be around forever but LO will always be with me :hug:
 
When we had our 1st we weren't married, wedding was planned, date set etc but even so, i told him the baby was going in my name, no questions, the only way it would get his surname is when he married me and then we'd all have his surname.

Personal choice i guess but i'd defo keep your name if you think you may split up.

Our daughter is so proud too cause she has 2 birth certificates :rotfl:

Its so easy to change after the wedding too, just go in, rename and out again with a new certificate, much less hassle than if it was something like squig said.
 
My baby will most likely have my surname as me and the dad aren't together but if we were it would still have my surname. I don't like the idea of the baby not having my surname - in hospital the babys tag will have my surname on it anyway.

My nephew has his dads surmane and my sis wishes she had used hers - esp now that they have split up :(
 
when i first found out i was pregnant i was going to give baby OH surname, after everything thats happened since it will ahve mine atm, though i willbe making sure any name we pick will fit well with both our surnames, im not ruling out our baby having the same name as his father at some point but that depends on his envolvement and commitment to me and if we ever decide to get married, the baby having my surname doesnt make it anyl ess his baby so i dont see a problem, though i did get the feeling when i mentioned this that he would like the baby to have his name
Clare x
 
We used OH's name because we are planning on staying together and will probably get married one day anyway. I would have liked to have used both names but they don't go together. Do your two names sound good together so that your LO could have a double barelled name? If not I would use your name if you think you and OH might split up.
 

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