i guess its been 10 months since i posted this, i just wanted to say to anyone currently going through this that it truly does get easier to deal with, it was the most awful trauma iv ever experienced and for many months i felt utter sadness and couldnt find any way to make it better, as time has passed i still think about it alot and have occasional sad moments but i do feel better now, my only advice would be let the people that love you help you and go easy with yourself because it takes time x