Struggling to cope

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by sweetpamii, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. sweetpamii

    sweetpamii Well-Known Member

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    Does anyone else feel like they can't cope, like they just can't do it. My little one is 3 and a half weeks. She's not a bad baby, but I'm just struggling with taking care of her on my own and night times, im so tired but I need to let my OH sleep as he has just started a full time job and needs to get a good sleep so he can learn what he needs to at his training. Im fine most of the time but when shes just crying It's so hard. Xx
     
  2. positivity :)

    positivity :) Well-Known Member

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    Hello hun. i felt like this on and off, in fact around weeks 2 and 3 were the hardest for me. i found it very hard to cope when LO was crying, and like your baby, he doesn't even cry that often. i was suffering with baby blues and found it harder than expected to come to terms with the change in my life.

    also at 3 weeks i guess your LO is up a few times in the night? my LO gets up just once now at either 4am or 5am and it has made it much easier to cope with.

    your hormones will be all over the place still but i promise you it will get easier. i started a similar thread to this one and the lovely PF girls reassured me that it gets easier...and they were right. xxx
     
  3. Squeakz

    Squeakz Well-Known Member

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    oh hun!! i felt like this. my son spent 6 weeks permanently screaming and when my oh was out all day it was hell. i spent days and days crying on the phone to my mum!!! i promise it does get easier. the noise babies make is heart wrenching especially if you dont know what to do to solve the problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you do worry call your hv! its what they are there for, if you need family round ask for help!! i had my damily drive an hour and a half to come and sit with me for support....

    are you ff or bf? could it be wind? too hot? too cold? hungry? if she cries at that age its generally for something. make a list of all things to check and go through systematically. my son was allergoc to cows milk.

    also could be pnd? i know it seems a bit of a taboo subject but it could be that and there would be nothing to be ashamed of! x
     
  4. Lilelephant

    Lilelephant Well-Known Member

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    I feel like this sometimes and also O is a content baby but i worry that I am doing the right things etc, am I stimulating him enough, is he happy etc etc!

    I also have to do night and day cos OH works and it is damn hard! Can ur OH do night shift on weekends this is what we do so atleast I get 2 nights sleep xxxx




     
  5. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I really struggled last night and although it's not ideal and I'd rather Sophie settled herself at the minute she has her feed and then settles on me and I then put her in the crib.
     
  6. Squeakz

    Squeakz Well-Known Member

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    keep with it hun.... i know it doesnt feel like it but i think we cam all promise you it slowly gets easier!!!!!!!! you CAN manage it!!! you've taken me back to j being young and if you need to text me when you're stressed do pm me, even if yooou need a supportive text or somehing!! You can do sweetie! xx
     
  7. Princess81

    Princess81 Well-Known Member

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    I think it's more difficult than anyone can prepare you for. It's totally normal to feel the way you are, and it will get better Hun. Cam was seriously hard work from 3 weeks to six(ish) weeks. Nothing anyone said could have prepared me for how hard it would be. Your hormones will still be haywire at the mo as well which doesn't help. You'll get there, and you'll be able to enjoy your baby :) xx
     
  8. ISH

    ISH Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly what you mean, I was crying every day, didn't quite know what to do, the lack of sleep didn't help, nor the problems I had with breastfeeding. I just phoned my mum, boohooed my heart out, and she just came over and we work shifts, I do until 3-4 AM and she takes over so we can both get some sleep.

    And I STILL find it hard to have time to eat! It's just the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.
     
    #8 ISH, Jan 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2012
  9. Cazza

    Cazza Well-Known Member

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    Ain't that the truth!!!

    I feel somewhat bewildered with it all, the change in my life has come as quite a shock TBH.................

    I do have a wonderful OH who is helping out lots bless him so am very lucky.
     
  10. Bunnykins

    Bunnykins Well-Known Member

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    I felt the same way, my Lo had colic and cried continuously all the time he was awake until he was 3 months old, it was hell all I could do was feed him to keep him from crying, I let him sleep on me rather than risk waking him up and start crying again, I spent entire days trapped in a chair with him sleeping and feeding, I'd have to wait until hubby got home from work to be able to get a drink and go to the loo!! Needless to say I did ALOT of crying myself (nonstop baby crying will drive you insane!) and felt like I couldn't do it, I'd dread waking up, each day felt like an uphill struggle that I barely got through, I love my baby but he felt like far more work than I was prepared for.
    I started giving him to my mum or mil for an hour 1 day a week so I could have a bath or just sit and watch tv or knit or sleep, anything that didn't involve a baby, those breaks definately saved my sanity and kept me going through those early weeks! When he hit 6 weeks I was much better at coping with the colic & his crying and it just got easier and easier, I think it just took a while to adjust to being a mum but now I'm loving every moment!

    Stick with it hon your doing great, it can be the hardest job in the world but after 3 months you are rewarded with better nights sleep, laughing, smiling, goo's & gaa's, basically a beautiful little human you can interact with, who knows you and shows it, and who learns something new everyday. Mine has not been affected by being allowed to sleep on me during the day, he goes to bed fine in an evening now, it didn't ruin him at all.

    Never underestimate the benefit of getting someone to give you a break or talking to someone about how you feel, your not alone in finding it hard but it does get better and we are here for you until it does xxx
     
    #10 Bunnykins, Jan 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2012
  11. beckibooxx

    beckibooxx Well-Known Member

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    i know exactly how your feeling hunny, i was diagnosed with postnatal depression, i have 2 kids both under 2! and im a single parent so times are so hard for me, so i know exactly what your going through, the best thing you can do is speak to a health visitor or see your gp, was probably the best thing i did, i left the doctors feeling so much better :)
    take a nap whenever baby sleeps, it helps! dont worry about housework, consentrate on getting your energy back up again, it gets easier... once baby starts sleeping through night your feel 100 times better
    :) chin up sweet!
     
  12. sweetpamii

    sweetpamii Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone, your messages have made me feel there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm gonna just take a step back and stop doing so much and as u said concentrate on getting my energy back up. Just gonna take each day at a time.
     

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