**spoilt brat alert**

[Tigger87]

Ill warn you before I start that I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat, but I'm pregnant, hormonal and frankly a bit pissed off!!

My mums been buying quite a few bits for the baby. Blankets, muslin cloths, toiletries etc. she's previously told me off (and I mean properly got a bit angry and told me off) for buying an outfit for the baby because everyone else would gift is clothes.

So I've only bought the basic stuff (plain babygrows and vests etc), but she's told me not to buy any blankets or muslin cloths because she's got so many for us (and I've been with her when she's bought some).

I called her today and, because I was quite bored, asked if I could pick the baby stuff up to sort through. She was SO rude, and gave me a massive lecture on how these are gifts, and they're for when the baby arrives.

My problem is this: she isn't going to wash them, take tags off etc. anything I might need immediately, like in the first few days, so muslin cloths blankets etc, I'm not gonna have. I have to go out now and buy double of these things (ok, not as much as if she hasn't got me anything, but she's got so much I shouldn't need anything). I'm also going to have a chunk of stuff land on me in the first few days of being a new mum to wash and sort out etc, when I'm quite sure I won't be in the mood for doing!!!!

I'm so mad at her, because she's not seeing this from my side. After my lecture I just told her a simple no would have sufficed and I was coming off the phone because I felt she'd been very rude and left it at that.

My MIL had been a bit arsey in the same way but she brought everything down the other week so we could sort through (I hadn't said anything to her because we're not close enough so I could).

Do you think I'm being totally unreasonable and putting myself in a mega strop unnecessarily?!

 

[Pregnot]

I don't think your being spoilt as I understand you want everything washed etc... But it's not really that big of a deal. You could ask her to wash them and to be honest chances are you'll have to do some washing first few days anyway so there's no issue in chucking them in with the existing washing is there?

maybe hormones getting the better of you - I've heard you can never have too many muslins so if you do buy more its only going to help

 

[CARNAT22]

So you have no blankets or muslins for bub? That is just silly!

Buy some yourself, don't even mention it to your Mum - they won't go to waste so don't worry!

xxxx

 

[lottielou]

Reading your post i dont think your being spoilt brat no. Def not!. Its amazing sorting stuff out and they are things you need in the first few days and hospital bag etc. . Seems like your not supposed to buy t it but your not supposed to get it from her either! ?. I would feel the same as you!!. Your definatly lucky to have a mum that wants to buy for your lo. But if i was in your shoes i would probs be peeved aswell!! X

 

[k8_005]

Have you explained to her you want to wash it all because of babys sensitive skins etc and have it all in house and why? My mum brought everything here already and wouldnt dream of witholding it in fact she keeps asking when I'm washing it all as u never know when baby will arrive lol . X

 

[umbongo]

Oh she is being silly. I know why you're annoyed. Maybe ask her to wash them for you. If she won't just buy a few. Aldi have some blankets a muslins in at the mo. Don't stress, life's too short hun xxxx

 

[Tigger87]

I already know I'm being a bit stupid making a "thing" out of this instead of just saying ok and goo off to get my own....

She knows what I need, she's a flipping midwife!!! She knows full well that it all has to be washed and what ill need in hospital, she won't be washing it as she doesn't use non-bio, and she's more than aware of the allergies her and my brother have to washing powders so the need to be careful... And there's no way I'm getting blankets washed and dried ready for baby as soon a I get home from hospital, totally unreasonable!!!

When someone tells you it's a gift, for the baby, when it arrives, how do you argue with that?! I should be grateful for what I'm given, not be demanding it for when i want it.

I'm just waiting for the backlash of abuse I get when she's aware I've bought my own so I have it all there... Because I know my mother, and I know it'll be said (even if in the same conversation I bring up the fact I wasn't allowed to have what she's bought before baby's arrival, she'll forget the reason that was brought up and turn the argument around - if that makes sense!!)

 

[umbongo]

Parents all have their foibles...sounds like there's no reasoning with her so just do what you gotta do for baby. Just don't get stressed about it. If she gets annoyed let her, and don't get drawn into any arguments. You'll be too busy with baby to care. It'll all be useful eventually hun.
Families are wonderful but can be a right pain still times!!!

 

[Tigger87]

Stupid hormones!!! My mood is just deteriorating sooooo quickly tonight because this has been going round and round in my head since about 3pm, annoying me more and more!!

She keeps hinting about wanting to have a toy box at hers for baby, toddler, older etc, that are to STAY with her so she has a "grandmother toy box". She's only started with this since I mentioned the bin bags full of toys we got given and sorted through the other weekend-it all feels like a hint for me to say "do you want some from here to start off?" (Which I'm not gonna do!!).

We clash because we're too alike, we both want total control of the situation. It's just this time it's MY situation and not hers!! (We fell out big time before my wedding because she decided I was being far too picky about her outfit and that was her choice - just because I made a comment that I wouldn't be happy if she wore white or ivory!!!!)

 

[umbongo]

Awww hun. Deep breaths. It'll all work out. Your baby will be the apple of all your eyes, grandma just wants to dote already. focus on the important stuff. Toys and blankets don't really matter. Don't work yourself up lovely xxx

 

[k8_005]

Sounds a nightmare!!!! All I can say is don't tell her you have bought stuff just go do it. As for toy box go through what you want and anything left over can give to her or say that there is no point her having them there cluttering up her home yet. I think she should know better if a mw herself and tbh I'd have had massive row with her before now if it was me!!!! As for wedding thing ivory or white u just don't do unless ur the bride!!!!! She sounds so controlling. Poor u big hugs try and remain calm. X