So upset desperate for advice.

[Vicxzy]

Hi guys,

Please give me some advice.
Yesterday OH was at work when he sent me a picture text of himself, bit of a posey picture sat at his desk.
Nothing wrong with that u may think but...
I cant stop crying as I think it was meant for somebody else, he claims it was meant for me but he's never sent me a pic like that before in the 18 months weve been together.
When we first started seeing each other I found an email where he'd sent a picture of himself (just one of himself & a friend) to some woman he'd met online who he later admitted to having flirted with, at the time I was still married, had only just split with my Husband & had to keep our new relationship a secret as my family were upset about my husband & I splitting.

He said the reason he flirted with her online was because he was convinced I was keeping him a secret from my friends & family as I was still seeing my ex.

I saw things from his side (I probably would've felt the same as he did) & we agreed to forget it.
I've kept a very close eye on his for the past 18months & nothing has given me cause for concern apart from this (checking his facebook, emails, texts etc occasionally on the sly!) He offers to let me look at his phone bill if I need reassurance.
I know he cheated on his ex so it worries me he's doing the same to me
Please help Im so upset Ive kicked him out but he swears the pic was for me x

 

[pinkymum]

Oh gosh hun, I'm really sorry. After you received the picture text did he send you another text that would make you think it was for you?
Hard call to make really but if you don't trust him and you think he could be cheating then that's never a great basis for a relationship.

 

[Vicxzy]

No he didnt, i text back within seconds & said what have u snet me that for? he replied saying he was just bored at work x

 

[pinkymum]

Have you seen him since yesterday? Just curious to know what he was like face to face when you asked him about it. Maybe he was genuinely bored at work but it does seem a bit suss!

 

[nadine]

aw hunni, hard one

but unfortunatly its a catch 22, i think our hormones wont help with dout

but i always say follow your gut instinct..............all i can say is if it was me i would asses my situation and if i really wanted to be with this man, (i no sounds silly with having his child) i would put it to one side and for get about it other wise it will eat away at you and you will end up very unhappy, or at least i would try if i couldnt rest because of it then i would just keep my witts about me and be on the ball, you will know if summat else was to happen that the likely ness of it being true would be strong , it all really depends on you hunn bee,

but to make you feel a lil better i think we all in relationships have mad moments, i to know my fella cheated on his ex of 15 years on a number of occasions, i some times i think with being pregnant an not giving him much attention is he dabbling bk there or been out on a nightout an had a fling, however i choose to just think im being para (which i prob am) and i believe that these things always come out in the end n if he did or has cheated the day i found out for sure he would get binned regardless if we have kids or if i love him, as i know i deserve more and he knows i would, so thats what makes me think its just hormones, anyway hope you sort it hunni x

 

[DaisyPurple]

If I were you I would prepare a nice meal when he comes home, get him in a relaxed mood and then tell him you need to talk to him honestly about your fears, keep it calm, dont scream or shout, just be clear and tell him you are wondering if things are actually as you hope they are between you, give him the chance to air any problems he might have, at best he may put your fears to rest and you will feel better, if something is wrong hun its better to know so that you have the opportunity to heal things before the baby comes, I really wish you luck, either way try not to upset yourself as it wont do your blood pressure any good or the babys

xxx

 

[Vicxzy]

I saw him but we didnt speak about it. I kicked him out.
Im so torn, i dont want to be one of those women who just gets taken for an idiot but i also have no other reason not to trust him.
He doesnt know i have all his email & facebook passwords etc & ive never found anything on there.
He leaves his phone lying round & I use it sometimes which he isnt bothered by but i just dont know if im being hormonal & paranoid because i feel such a fat minger that hes looking elsewhere?
x

 

[pinkymum]

Good advice nadine and Polly! I'm useless at relationship advice hence why I'm not in one

 

[DaisyPurple]

I saw him but we didnt speak about it. I kicked him out.
Im so torn, i dont want to be one of those women who just gets taken for an idiot but i also have no other reason not to trust him.
He doesnt know i have all his email & facebook passwords etc & ive never found anything on there.
He leaves his phone lying round & I use it sometimes which he isnt bothered by but i just dont know if im being hormonal & paranoid because i feel such a fat minger that hes looking elsewhere?
x

Oh sweetie, I hate to say it but it really does sound like you are suffering from a bad case of the pre-preggers blues, a lot of women feel like this due to the body changes and hormone changes etc.. if he is leaving his phone laying around and you havent found anything untoward on his facebook etc.. he sounds ok to me, you could do with a bit of attention and pampering to make you remember how special you are and that your man loves you, have you not thought that maybe he was sending that pic to you to remind you that he loves you? xx

 

[Vicxzy]

He never goes out on nights out unless with me, he just likes staying in with me or going baby shopping or we go out for walks, he only ever goes to work without me.
I dont know when he would get the chance to cheat but im so worried x

 

[DaisyPurple]

try to stop worrying hun, why don't you do this... send him a random text now saying,
"hey you, I just need to tell you this.. I love you! in 87 days we 2 will become 3 and I want our lives to be happier than ever"

see what reply you get x

 

[midnight]

if he is happy to leave his phone lying around and for you to have every detail of his private accounts id say he just got bored and sent you a picture if i was your partner and i was up to no good even flirting then i wouldnt leave my phone lying around or give you my password and if you regualry check in 18 month you would of found something

 

[Vicxzy]

He says there was nothing wrong with the pic he sent & that Ive sent him pics of bump & stuff before when hes been at work which is true but I feel thats different.
Ive been really ill so we hardly ever have sex & hes asked me before if I have gone off him which I assured him I havent, he doesnt pester me for sex but he says that just because hes being considerate (i automatically assume hes knocking someone else off)
I cant stop crying, hes just come bk & hes upstairs getting his things x

 

[Lou_1]

id be like u are finding it weird he sent the pic and why did he? was it for some1?
............ But i always think the worse and its somtimes really unhealthy for me and my OH lol. I was cheated on by my first sons dad and i think it comes from there like if he can do it any1 can and its really unfair to paint my OH now with the same brush.. Like u said i to feel so fat and horrible and now the nice weather coming in i know its going to be a nightmare wi all these wee skinny milinkys in their wee tops shorts and stuff i dunno how my comment is meant to help u but ur not alone think we all think the same at some pooint.

Try talking with him and i hope u work it out with him, Best of luck xx

 

[midnight]

hormones are great and make us think differently to what we normally would

 

[DaisyPurple]

He says there was nothing wrong with the pic he sent & that Ive sent him pics of bump & stuff before when hes been at work which is true but I feel thats different.
Ive been really ill so we hardly ever have sex & hes asked me before if I have gone off him which I assured him I havent, he doesnt pester me for sex but he says that just because hes being considerate.
I cant stop crying, hes just come bk & hes upstairs getting his things x

seriously you need to stop him now this has got totally out of control, trust me hun go tell him you love him x

 

[midnight]

He says there was nothing wrong with the pic he sent & that Ive sent him pics of bump & stuff before when hes been at work which is true but I feel thats different.
Ive been really ill so we hardly ever have sex & hes asked me before if I have gone off him which I assured him I havent, he doesnt pester me for sex but he says that just because hes being considerate (i automatically assume hes knocking someone else off)
I cant stop crying, hes just come bk & hes upstairs getting his things x

he could of been looking at pics you had sent him as he was bored and thought stuff it i will send her a pic

 

[Lou_1]

if he is there go have a chat with him hun and tell him how u feeling x

 

[midnight]

if he was up to no good he would be more cagey about leaving his phone ect x

 

[Vicxzy]

I always think the worst too, Im so paranoid but its just not something he would normally do.
Should I go through his phonebill?x