Should we stay living together regardless ?

[whyslifesobig]

I think it is the right thing to do, I am much happier having my independance than living with a man. There is nothing worse than treading on egg shells all the time and it's not going to be healthy for anyone. His temper might calm down now he has some space to work through things also. In this day and age there is no reason why relationships can't work better in two houses than one. Sometimes you just have to except an unconventional love story works better than what society tells us we should do. I have been with my oh 11 yrs and he has his place and i have mine and if i get a bfp that will not change.
There is no problem with him I am just feircely independant, when my dad died my mum was useless as she relied on him for everything and she fell to peices. I made a chose way back then that I wouldn't be trapped like that. Anyhow who wants to clean up after a man and a baby?

 

[Sabrina]

Thanks for your reply whyslifesobig. I agree sometimes unconventional works. I have had second thoughts lately because he's been really good since New Year and kept a lid on his temper. But that could only be temporary.


The 12 week scan was ok but I had to have a CVS test (posted about that in the First Trimester board if anyone is interested).

OH has a place as from Monday although it's not ideal as it's a bit far away and they want a big deposit (which I'll have to lend him!).

TBH this week I've got other things on my mind. The results of the CVS are my priority and until I get them I can't decide about anything else.


Sabrina

 

[Londoner Claire]

Good luck for Monday Sabrina.

 

[cassi]

good luck hun x

 

[Sabrina]

Thanks for your thoughts Claire + Cassi.

I just thought I'd update on this thread after I've had the CVS results (all clear thank goodness).

OH is moving out in 2 weeks. The first place he had we decided was too far away so he has been looking all week at other flats etc. He finally saw the perfect studio flat today. So all seems well. I think he's actually quite looking forward to having his own freedom again.

Sabrina
x

 

[katyk]

Hi just to say me and my boyf live like this, in separate houses It works well as otherwise his moods stress me out and my untidiness makes him moody

Despite separate houses I still would have liked to get married, though everyone else said that would be daft. I'm dreading telling my mother I'm pregnant

Basically, everyone and every couple is not the same, but just because we are not living like everyone else, that doesn't make us bad people. Why shouldn't we have a family and a commitment in our lives like everyone else wants for themselves?

 

[Sabrina]

Thanks for your reply Katy. This is an old post from when I was first pregnant.

I'm pleased to report OH has moved back in with me since I last posted on this thread and things are 100% improved. He's been a tower of strength to me and I don't know what I'd have done without him at times.

Of course it can work out having separate homes. You have to do what's right for you in the end. Don't be persuaded by anyone else. Go with your heart.


Sabrina
x

 

[katyk]

Yay! How do you think you got it to work better between the two of you in the end, or is that just how it panned out?

I had real doubts about my relationship before I found out I was pregnant. My boyf has real problems with marriage due to having been married before (he's 43). But I'm 30 and I still want that dream with someone, I didn't think it was going anywhere.

Little did I know that while I was thinking this the little swimmers were definitely going somewhere

 

[Sabrina]

Katy,

A few weeks after my OH moved out we had a big scare with the baby. Fortunately when it happened he was with me to help me.... But let's just say I was in total panic (couldn't even talk coherently) and he just calmly took over.

I think that experience drew us together. I realised just how close we had come to losing the baby. I knew then just how much I wanted this baby and also wanted to be with him full time.

We have quite an age gap in our relationship and I'm the older one who's been married before and isn't keen to do it again so I sympathise partly with your OH's reservations. I'm coming around to the idea but it might be a few years before I make that step again.

I've come to accept that no relationship is 100% perfect all the time and regardless who you are with there are never any guarantees. I love my OH very much and just decided to "take a chance" on us. So far (fingers crossed) it's very much worked out. I hope you'll have the same experience.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Good luck sabrina, with everything, and if your happier on your own then so be it. I thionk what another post said about him being quick tempered was a bit of a light switch on time for me, and she was right in saying thst would he honestly be able to cope with a crying baby if he gets uptight with a hospital receptionist?
Sounds like your better off on your own with your two boys and the bf being live out till he learns to xontrol his temper.

 

[Sabrina]

Thanks for your msg Mrs_tommo. As I said before this is an old post and the situation has changed. OH and I are very happy and living back together now.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Aww thats fab sabrina and im so pleased to hear that and i hope everything works out vwell for you all and life as new family goes according to plan!

 

[Babylicious]

thats great