Should we have a routine?

[Happybunny]

Hello again!!

My mother whinged the other night that we should have routine with our little one by now
We are so not anywhere near having a routine!! I use the fact that we are BF'ing as an excuse - saying that I feed on demand, not to the clock. But am I just hiding behind a flimsy excuse? Do other BF'ing mums have a routine?

Sometimes we wake and get up at 7am. Other days we wake and then lie and feed/doze in bed until 11am. April has no set nap times. She feeds when she likes and sleeps when she likes. Although she probably won't have more than baout 3 X 40 mins during the day.

Sometimes she will go to sleep from 7pm, other nights she will not sleep until 9 or 10pm. It is very unpredicatable. We did start trying to make her sleep from 7-11 each night, but it didn't work and I wasn't entirely convinced that BF babies did that anyway?

What sort of routines do you have? Should I have one? If so, how do I go about setting one up?

 

[charlie84]

We have a kinda routine when it comes to evening such as she will have a bath at a set time then usually a long feed then to bed. She has been sleeping through the night for a while now and only just started to recently wake again at about 5ish in the morning. Think its a possible growth spurt or teething or combination of both.
Calleigh is fed on demand so if she wants a feed she gets one so i am sure her routines will change with her feeding needs.
I have started to notice a routine more in the day which she seems to have got herself into lately. We will get up round about nine and from then on it kinda works on a three hour schedule. Play, feed and sleep for 40mins to an hour, repeat till bedtime.

I did notice that if i wanted to stay in bed longer than 9am ish it would disrupt the time she went to bed at night so now i stick to getting up at the same time each day.
It is nice to have a routine i must admit, but to be honest if it all went to cock tomorrow i wouldnt be too worried.

You dont have to have a routine hun. You do what you want to do.

 

[kalia]

The one constant is that I feed her at 11pm. I get her out of bed and feed her even though she doesn't open her eyes - it's very cute! She feeds every 4 hours (more or less, it's on demand) so we used to have to gamble each night on whether we would have to get up once or twice depending on when her last feed is. But if I offer her milk at 11 that means she's only up once in the night (3.30 - 4am) and next time she's up it's morning.

We've now started to have a pattern before this too. A bit after 7pm we put on her sleepsuit, feed her, change her nappy and if she is ready, put her to bed. If she's not ready we'll have cuddles or walk around until she is (she's a very sleepy baby so as long as she is awake from about 5 she will be tired. Tonight it was 8.30 before she was down as I took her for a long walk and we didn't get back until 7.30. Other nights she might be down by 7.30. If we don't notice the time it used to be much later but now she gets really grumpy and reminds us! Whe we started we did all this at the first nappy change after 7pm so it could be any time between 7 and 11. She wants to go to sleep sometime between 7 and 8.30 now which is her setting the time.

This is enough routine for us. If you want a routine start one little by little. If you don't have one don't let anyone pressure you into something that may just cause you stress. You could lie to your mum!

 

[Sherlock]

By about 10 weeks breastfed babies can go at least 6 hours overnight without a feed.

We don't have a routine per se. I do however make sure Galen has time on his own in the day, most mornings from 9-10am in his basket downstairs with the mobile playing or some such. Quiet time. And again in the afternoon. He has no problem me leaving him to it and is quite content. He also goes to sleep on his own now and has done so for 3 weeks. We can put him in his basket or cot wide awake and within 15 minutes or so he is sound asleep. That has been a real breakthrough rather than having to wait for him to fall asleep in my arms or after a feed etc.

As for the rest, he feeds and sleeps as he needs.

 

[purple13]

By about 10 weeks breastfed babies can go at least 6 hours overnight without a feed.

'can' being the operative word 'will' or 'do' being mere pipe dreams in this house

connor's just started sleeping from nine-ish til two-ish. he then feeds every two hours until the alarm goes off at half six. we either get up or keeping the feeding/sleeping thing going for as long as we fancy.

i feed on demand throughout the day without any semblance of routine, but connor also fits in to whatever i want to do (be it swimming, rhyme time, tidying, shopping etc) - i just feed him as and when he needs it.

we let connor fall into his own bedtime routine, which he started about 3 weeks ago. before then, he'd sleep whenever he wanted.

it really is whatever works for you. i tried to put connor into a routine at around 6-8 weeks old but it didn't work for either of us. i persevered for about a week and it just made both of us cross without having any impact on his sleeping or eating patterns as far as eating goes, his demand changes according to how hot it is, growth spurts, feeling miserable from teething etc, so i haven't tried to enforce anything there.

i just enjoy what we have. if what you do works for you, then don't listen to anyone else and don't worry

 

[Becky]

At such an early stage I wouldn't be worrying about routine!

At most we would say that after a certain time at night Lucy would stay upstairs and that we would try and bath her around the same time every day. But other than that I really wouldn't bother. Babies tend to find their own routine after a while and then you can work around that.

A lot of people think they're helping you by suggesting what to do but if you don't have any problems then why change it. The time when routine is important will come and till then I'd relax!

 

[loz]

Your bab sounds just like Emma. Emma changes week by week! She is currently waking once in the night about 3am and then asleep until 7am. She will normally have a nap from about 8 - 9, then 11.30 for an hour if I'm lucky and then in the afternoon for about half an hour (that's a good day). She really doesnt like going to bed until 11pm. She will only sleep in the evening if it's on someone, and then it is a nightmare to get her to sleep in her basket.

Some days she wont nap for more than 15 mins at a time, but she is very alert and wants to see what's going on all the time, and fights going to sleep.

I find that if I'm at home all day it's fine, if I go out, it all goes wrong!!

I wouldnt worry too much about routines, although I have found the advice not to put her to sleep straight after a feed useful (baby whisperer).

A couple of weeks ago, she was waking twice in the night, so things seem to change all the time!!

 

[LisaJ1986]

The only real set thing we have is if Angel isn't in her moses basket by 10pm, whether she's tired or not, she'll kick up. She either wants to sleep or play with her mobile. She varies night feeds from 3am-5am, then generally up at 6ish and sleep in my bed til i get up at 7am. Then she'll have a nap around 9. The rest is really down to her. Some days she'll be awake all day, others she'll be asleep all day. Again breastfed. So she'll either go every half an hour before a feed, or every couple of hours. I know i have no real routine, but at the mo i'm happy. I get to go to bed at 10pm and get a good 5 hours sleep, 6 if i'm lucky.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Yeah, loose routine that we work around now, was sooooooo anal about it all a few months ago. Being relaxed about it for my two has definitely worked in my favour - but i dont breastfeed.

I have friends that bf and have their babies in a routine and others that dont. If your happy and shes happy why rush things, unless you really want her in a routine.

 

[clarey]

We didnt really get any regular routine going until about 3 months and then it was totally led by her, we just started getting her ready for bed after our dinner, bath, pj's, feed etc and gradually she has brought this forward herself, now she starts getting tired around 6 pm, and is generally asleep in bed by 7/7.30 pm, still wakes twice in the night and is up and awake by 7am. She is fairly consistent but I certainly cant take credit for it! Sure your LO will settle naturally into a routine of sorts, I was worrying about it at 6 weeks but I didnt need to, I will be a lot more relaxed next time round!

 

[Red_Fairy]

Ive never 'made' a routine at all.
My girls have - they show me there needs and wants and i go with it. It changes every couple of months, but certin things stay the same (like getting up time/bed time)

Ive found with both my girls that around the 3-4 month stage you realise your in some sort of routine then.

Just let them lead you

 

[Squiglet]

By about 10 weeks breastfed babies can go at least 6 hours overnight without a feed.

can you tell lil miss that please

 

[Sherlock]

By about 10 weeks breastfed babies can go at least 6 hours overnight without a feed.

can you tell lil miss that please

Hehe I know there are a few exceptions but as a rule BF babies are able to go about 6 hours at night without needing to feed by that age. Some don't but many can start to do without that middle of the night feed.

I've started cutting out LO's mid night feed where I can now. If he wakes and is obviously hungry then I of course feed him, but if he is only awake as his nappy is wet (he is really fussy and hates having a wet nappy) I change him and put him back in his cot to see if he will settle again. More often than not he does now If he fusses on then I feed him.

 

[floppit]

We have habits like songs in the morning and a bath at night but no timed routine. Munchkin sometimes sleeps 6 hours, sometimes wakes - either is ok.

 

[Happybunny]

Thanks for everyone's replies. I am feeling much more relaxed after speaking to you lot - we are happy, why worry!!

I borrowed a friends's copy of The Baby Whisperer this week to see if she had any tips. All I can say is OMG!! I am giving the book back! We're doing fine without all of her daft anacronyms!

 

[Redshoes]

The things I do routinely with Isaac are aim for a 7pm bedtime, and make sure he has his Weetabix for breakfast, and a morning/noon nap, that's it and it works for us

 

[MattM]

Before Luke came along, I was convinced that routines were important. But now...

Getting through the day with as few screaming sessions as possible are most important. Having said that, all you need to do is guide them into their own routine. Luke now has his own routine which he taught us! He likes to nap at 11:30am and at 30pm-ish and he likes a bath and then bed at around 8-9 pm. Not every day is the same but he is fairly consistent.

Just look out for the signs and encourage them but don't force them unless you want a fight on your hands every day.

There are far more important things to worry about with babies. Like dropping them. And leaking nappies. Routines will come when they are ready.

When we're out and about, strangers will come up and ask the silliest things. Like "Does he sleep through the night?" is common. They say it and wait for the answer with keen anticipation. It seems to be a key point in your parenting abilities. A benchmark of your worthiness. We usually smile and say 'no, not yet'. To which they pull a sympathetic face. In their eyes, we are failures. We haven't managed to persuade our little baby to forgo the primal urge to feed in favour of a peaceful night.

 

[DebbieM]

When we're out and about, strangers will come up and ask the silliest things. Like "Does he sleep through the night?" is common. They say it and wait for the answer with keen anticipation. It seems to be a key point in your parenting abilities. A benchmark of your worthiness. We usually smile and say 'no, not yet'. To which they pull a sympathetic face. In their eyes, we are failures. We haven't managed to persuade our little baby to forgo the primal urge to feed in favour of a peaceful night.

My reply to the sleeping through the night question is simple:

"Breast fed babies don't tend to sleep through"

Even my breastfeeding co-ordinator thought that was a fab response.

 

[Happybunny]

When we're out and about, strangers will come up and ask the silliest things. Like "Does he sleep through the night?" is common. They say it and wait for the answer with keen anticipation. It seems to be a key point in your parenting abilities. A benchmark of your worthiness. We usually smile and say 'no, not yet'. To which they pull a sympathetic face. In their eyes, we are failures. We haven't managed to persuade our little baby to forgo the primal urge to feed in favour of a peaceful night.

Well observed and beautifully put! You are absolutely right! When I say 'Breast Fed babies usually don't sleep through the night', I get the inevitable response (usually from the out-laws)....'well just give her a bottle before bed'

 

[Sage]

we stick by a routine, mainly for naps and diner time.

he usually has a bottle in the night
wakes up at 6 with daddy and plays with him
8.30ish brekkie
10am bottle
NAP
1pm lunch and pudding
NAP
3pm tea
4.30pm bottle
7pm bath
7.30 bottle
8pm bed

If we're out doing something then ob its harder to stick with it but he doesnt mind as long as he's kept busy. he tends not to have his naps if we're out so can be hard work in the afternoon then when hes tired. if we're at home he demands food and naps at the same time ever day lol he knows when its dinner time!!