She deleted me because of my pregnancy

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Someone I know and got on well with had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago.
She went to her scan and got told there was no heartbeat and so she had to go for a D & C. We were bump buddies at first, always posting on each others Facebook asking how each other and bump were, It was nice.

A few days later she made a status about how she hates someone for bragging about their pregnancy on Facebook. Then a few days later someone who hates my guts commented on her wall saying, "Don't worry about her, I had a feeling you were talking about her in your status the other day. Her baby will be in care in no time, all she does is sleep all day, think about herself and go to bed in the early hours of the morning, delete the sick cow!".

The girl I know then commented saying, "I know, and I'm not having a baby to get more benefits and a house. She's a twat and so is her boyfriend".

I thought they were talking about me because:

1. When I was friends with Girl B (the girl that hates my guts), I did sleep all day and go to bed really late (but for several months now I haven't done that).

2. Girl A (the girl that has deleted me) used to go out with my boyfriend for a few months until he dumped her for another girl, so I can understand why she would think he was a twat and why I was a twat for going out with him.

3. Because Girl B hates me and it sounded like she was bitching and hoping I would see it (trust me, we were best friends for years, I know how she plays games).

Soooo....I asked Girl A's sister who she was talking about in her status. She told me that it was about some girl that Girl A knows online. Okay.. so why did Girl B make out like she knew the person Girl A was talking about?

Anyway, I hadn't heard any more bitching for a while until earlier when I made a status about how I can't wait until I see my baby again. Girl A's sister commented on it saying, "I think it's a boy". Girl A then commented on it saying, "Ahah both!".. No idea what that means?
The conversation then went like this..
Girl A's sister: "You still up?"
Girl A, "Yeah: Pissed off!"
Girl A's sister: "Text/phone me".
Girl A: "Cbfa, Just want MY baby to be alive! I'm deleting some people off here as well, do my head in!".

..She then deleted me.

I sympathised and gave her support when she lost her baby. I even told her to ignore the people that were annoying her (which sounds stupid now because I believe she was talking about me at the time). I haven't purposely bragged about my pregnancy or my happiness, I'm simply just enjoying my pregnancy. But I'm still terrified of losing him/her, I won't get rid of that fear until I see him/her alive and well.

I don't know what I'm achieving by writing this, I just feel quite angered and upset.
It's not my fault she had a miscarriage, plus I gave her my support. I personally don't think she's let her feelings out about the miscarriage but I think she needs to :/

Advice/Opinions?

 

[Drummers_wife]

Sounds like a nasty piece of work best left alone anyways x

So jus don't worry about it "friends" like that u don't need hunny x true friends would never say or act like that

 

[GregorysGirl]

Hey,

Sounds a tricky one but....
1) Are you really bothered if Girl A is not aa true friend?
2) If she waas only ur 'bump bud' then do u have friendship outside thay?
3) I had a miscarraige 2 mnths ago and felt really oofended when my pregnant friends posted things about their pregnancy as I thoufht it was insensitive. I certanly wolnt have.
But ya have to realsie that the world doesn't stop cos u lost ya baby (girl A obviousy isn't mature enough to see that), andif these ppl aare your treue friends you will deal with it.
I personally jusy went off FB for a while and once I felt a little better went bk.
Its an awful time for a woman and the last tng girl A will have needed is to see ur happy statuses.
There is no right or wrong really, however don't beat urself up, ur friendship obv waasnt strong enough and the most important tng is ur baby.
Hope this helps.
If I was u, I'd forget about it

Xxxxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Girl A is obviously upset cos she lost her baby but why is that your fault?!! Tbh I wouldn't let it bother you. Of course your gonna talk about your pregnancy, your excited! x x

 

[Maria1977]

I know it's easy to say but don't worry about these girls and what they're saying. I had to leave my last job (that I LOVED) because of two girls that mad my life miserable but I have more important things to worry about now.. my baby... and you have your baby to focus on too xxxxxx

 

[isobel84]

She is really hurt and envy you for your pregnancy and that's absolutly understandeble.
It's not your fault but just ignore. Maybe she deleted you cuz she don't want to see your fb statuses, it must be sotough on her. No reason to be.nasty but maybe its the only way for her todeal with it. Xx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Thanks for the replies girls.
I got a nasty message off her this morning asking me why I was slagging her off and that she's not jealous because she's got her 8 month old. I re-read all my posts on the subject last night and I did not once say she was jealous nor did I slag her off.

She then messaged me again nicely saying sorry and that she wasn't talking about me.
She also messaged my boyfriend saying she wasn't talking about me.

Her sister has left me five messages saying pretty much the same thing.
I don't really want to reply at the moment. Apparently she's wishing me and my boyfriend a happy pregnancy and she said "If you want anything you know where I am".

I personally think she's just trying to defend herself because she is technically part of OH's family now (her sister is engaged with and has a baby with my OH's brother). We're a close family so I think she's just trying not to get into all of our bad books...

Also I've been told by her sister that the girl she was bitching about (the online friend), well the reason she deleted her was because this girl asked Girl A how her bump was after she had the miscarriage.. but that's a common mistake, I didn't know until 2 days after it happened. I think both of them are making excuses up now, I'm not a fool though. xxx

Oh she's also re-added me..

 

[pringle88]

dont feel guilty fot having a happy and healthy pregnancy, i imagine she is going through a really bad time at the moment and seeing your updates and statuses wont help the way she is feeling but that is not your fault in any way and you should not have to not mention your little one, like somebody else said if your not strong enough to see comments about babys then stay off facebook until you are. hope you all get it sorted xx

 

[Amyrose]

just enjoy your pregnancy tiff and leave them to there games. xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Someone has commented the status saying they have lost three babies but love seeing my pregnancy updates.
I know every girl is different but Girl A has re-added me, so if she thinks I'm bragging about my pregnancy and hates it, why is she re-adding me?

Someone else has just commented the status saying I am being cruel..
Some people are bonkers!

 

[tinytoes]

ugh , thats the last thing you need when dealing with your pregnancy and trying to enjoy it , personally I'd say delete and ignore . You should be able to enjoy this time guilt and drama free . x

 

[Maria1977]

She is really hurt and envy you for your pregnancy and that's absolutly understandeble.
It's not your fault but just ignore. Maybe she deleted you cuz she don't want to see your fb statuses, it must be sotough on her. No reason to be.nasty but maybe its the only way for her todeal with it. Xx

WSS^^

It defo must be hard for her to watch a friends pregnancy progress healthily when her baby didn't make it, not that it excuses bad behaviour but it does give a reason behind it and the best thing to do is to just step back and let it play itself out. You defo sound like you are being the bigger better person by just being nice and being yourself, I think that's the right thing to do. Don't let anything come in the way of enjoying your pregnancy xxxxxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Thanks girls, You make me feel like I'm not losing my marbles :/
OH and family are on my side but I still feel like it's two against one.
Girl A's sister keeps commenting on it and I'm not even replying, she's doing it right now saying that someone who hasn't had a miscarriage will not understand how Girl A is feeling..

Well I'm still terrified of losing my baby and I will still be terrified even when I see him/her for the first time alive and well. I might not have lost a baby but that fear is with me.

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

A 43 year old woman on Facebook just shouted at me in Facebook chat.
I don't know her personally but she called me a young selfish and cruel girl and basically said I shouldn't have a child.
Told me I don't know what it's like to lose a child.

I didn't read it all, only the first line because my OH was replying to her on my account. I'm glad he did because otherwise I would have got upset and angry, which is not good for LO. I was also on the phone to my mum at the time when the random chat box popped up with a huge nasty paragraph off this lady.

Funny enough she was the one that wrote on my status twice asking me to delete it and let God handle it.
Doesn't sound like a very mature and religious person when she's shouting at me in chat for something I haven't done or something she knows the full story about.

OH told her that I talk to and comfort people every day about their unfortunate miscarriages, she shut up and then blocked me..

 

[Maria1977]

Urgh, there's always someone willing to stick their oar in and a 43 year old woman should know better.

Don't let them wind you up hun xxxxxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Exactly ^^
This has all be blown out of proportion and I'm made out to be the bad guy?!
That woman was 43 years old and apparently religious. I'm religious and have opinions but I don't dare do what she just did. I'm so glad I didn't read it all, it infuriated my OH and would have made me hit the roof which I do not want to happen.

She only got angry with me because I did not reply to anyone's comments on the status.
I told myself not to reply because I'm leaving it now. I haven't even replied to the private messages.

 

[isobel84]

Why do u bite to it? Just ignore them, don't reply atall if its upsetting you. It will mather what u say to them, it will just get worse n worse.
Show them u are the better person by walk away from the arguments and prove them wrong by vein an brilliant mum to your child xx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

I haven't replied to any them hun and I won't
My OH was talking to her on my account, defending me.

If someone is horrible to me like these people are being, I NEVER sink to their level and reply.
I believe that if someone is being disrespectful to another person, Karma will get them back and God will punish them. I don't want to be punished by angry words I might say when they push me too far, so I don't say anything.

xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

..
The 43 year old woman has just private messaged me saying I'm an unwed girl, making the first mistake of bringing a child into this world. She also said I haven't suffered enough as I should and that God hates ugly and that I'm the ugliest they come and you can't fix ugly.

I deleted the message.

And this is when I quote my favourite bible quote
- Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

I definitely won't let him devour me today! xxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Their talking utter crap Hun! Yes it must be hard for her but why bring you down with her!!
I had a mc a couple of years ago and at the same time my friend was pregnant due a week before me and even though I was going through the worst thing in the world, I was still so pleased for her. Just cos I lost mine didnt mean she should loose her's!!