sex after a miscarriage?


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Nov 5, 2008
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my DH and I had sex for the first time last night since I had an early miscarriage at the beginning of last week.

I thought I was ready but after it was over I was just absolutely hysterical. Dont get me wrong I absolutley adore my DH and it was what we both wanted but I was just shaking and sobbing. I am absolutley terrified of getting pregnant again and having another miscarriage. I dont ever want to have to feel the way I did sitting in that hospital last week.

Did anybody else feel like this?
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
i must admit i let my emotions get in the way of sex the first time we did it after my miscarriage. it wasnt a fear of getting pregnant again though, i cant put my finger on what it was. i think i thought that i was degrading the baby or something, idk i was just thinking about oh what if there's blood afterwards, which wouldnt bother me if it was just period blood it was dwelling on what it was i felt like a necrophile. my head was really messed up though.

i kno for fact in my case i thought i was ready when in fact i wasnt. i did the same thing after giving birth too. i push myself to "prove" something i am stupid!

sounds like youre the same (not the stupid part!) you thought you were ready now you've realised you weren't. my advice is to take it easy, when u think u might be ready again, try it, but if it feels not right then stop straight away. i'm sure ur OH is very understanding and will be again. FWIW i was ok with sex again once the spotting had completely stopped. x x x
oh sweetheart :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I think that's quite natural for you to feel like that after the traumatic time you've been through. You aren't quite ready to try again yet hun, give yourself a little more time to heal. The fear does go away after a while. I was really concerned how I'd react when me and my oh started trying again but thankfully once we'd started it felt right.

Take good care xx :hug:
we were told to wait at least one clear week after the bleeding had stopped before having sex (though that was a m/c at 16 weeks after 2 failed D&Cs, and they were concerned about the risk of infection).

Anyway, I decided to carry on TTC as though nothing had happened, like I could just blank it all out. I was fine the first and second times, but after the third time, I just couldn't go on and told DH that we'd have to have a break for a few weeks. That break has turned into a few months since I got pg again and this has been a threatened m/c so no sex.... I can't say it's been easy, I've had all sorts of emotions - when I saw the BFP, I just completely broke down and cried for 30 minutes. I've no idea what got into me, but I was just shaking, thinking oh sh*t, here we go again... Another 10 weeks of weekly hospital appts, scans, operations and internal examinations till it's all over again...

At other times, I think being pg really did help. Especially when my brother and SIL announced they were expecting - and had conceived the very weekend of my miscarriage. We didn't even know they were TTC as they'd told us they weren't going to till this year. If I hadn't been pg, I really don't know if I could have spoken to them again, it hurt so much (obviously they knew about the D&Cs and yet deliberately decided to start TTC then). At least I had sth to look forward to.

Unfortunately, you need to take risks in order to get the reward. Once you've m/c you're always going to be aware of the risk - but there will come a time when you feel strong enough to take it. It's like having a skiing accident or falling off a bike. You know it may happen again - but on the other hand, it may not. And when you want to ski, or cycle, more than you're afraid of falling, then's the right time to try again.
Thankyou for all your good advice ladies as always :hug:

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