settling baby - help needed badly! *successful update!*

[Jen & Her Men]

James is 10 days old and Im having real problems getting him to settle without me.
I had a traumatic birth - 30 hr labour and an emergency c section so the first few days I was absolutely exhausted and we co-slept because Im BF and because it settled him whereas putting him in his crib didnt.

He has now got used to this and refuses to go in his crib - he just cries and cries. I leave him for 15 mins to see if he settles but he doesnt and as soon as I pick him up he stops crying.

He was sleeping ok in the day in his moses basket but now he has even started rejecting that so today I have found that all I have done is hold him and feed him (he is feeding constantly at the mo) and Im worried that he is never going to settle without being in my arms.

Has anyone got any advice on how I can get him to go down without me cuddling him?
If I put him in when he is sleeping he wakes up within 5 mins and starts crying again.....

 

[xrachx]

try putting one of your t shirts in the crib with him or a pillowcase usually works well, i did this with glenn when he was first born just to give him a bit of reassurance when i put him upstairs to sleep, good luck hun and i hope he settles soon.x

 

[Redshoes]

I've no advice although I do think because of the birth, he too will still be a bit fragile and so will probably be like that a while, unless you take some 'extreme' routine route, which at 10days may not be the right approach. Sorry I can't help, can you not pull the cot right up to your bed, lay with him a good 30mins while he sleeps, then leave, he may stay settled that way.
Isaac wouldn't sleep in a cot/crib until 5months old so I've tried many 'strategies' co-sleeping worked for us, but in the meantime just try and sleep when you can. eat well, and stay as relaxed as possible to help him relax. Also, I think maybe 15mins is a bit long to leave him, he's still so tiny and not as sure of things yet, but that's just MY opinion, but if you maybe went back in as soon as he cried, he'd feel more secure than being let to cry, its worth a try, very best wishes, hope you both find a routine that works for you real soon

 

[Squiglet]

lil miss has real issues with this. she wasn't so bad at first but after the took her into SCBU she started becoming really clingy...and refuses to be put down... much to the discomfort in my shoulders. We have problems getting her into her crib... we just keep putting her down...letting her cry for 10 mins (mainly to exhaust herself) then go in with her... Last night though, I put my pillow next to her and put my hand on her chest and she went straight off... once she was asleep I took the pillow away...but she stayed asleep...obviously once she woke up for a feed a few hours later, I co slept with her. Its just easier when bfing a baby with an older one still needing care.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

thanks guys
tbh I prefer co-sleeping cos it feels safer to me - I hate the idea of him being alone in the crib without me and when he is in there in the day i check him all the time!
Its just the combination of him never wanting to be put down AND the fact he needs constant feeding that is getting me down I think.
He is a big baby and needs A LOT of milk to fill him up so I feel Im constantly feeding him or cuddling him to get him to sleep.
We have decided to give him a top up formula feed of an evening to give me (and my nipples) a bit of a break! So will see how that goes and fingers crossed it will make James a bit more satisfied and me a little more human!!

 

[maybebaby]

Have you tried swaddling? Austin wouldn't sleep on his own when he was first born so my mum showed me how to swaddle him & he went in his moses basket happy for practically the first time.

Also it's not really recommended but I put a pillow in the basket for Austin to sleep on, it's much softer & he loved it. He just likes to be cosy (like his mummy).

If you're happy co-sleeping however, go for it! As long as you follow the guidelines (clicky) it can work really well.

Hope that helps (and congratulations on your little man)

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I used a pillow too but it didnt help with imogen but did with DS, I found the only was to get imogen off was to go to bed when she did and pull the besket really close to my bed and just maintain hand contact and then I started using a gro bag and that helped loads as I think she felt more secure.
But she was most happy in her cot and when she was older I used controlled crying and have no problems now

I hpe he starts settling for you soon but hes so young though and its part and parcel of having a newborn andits just them trying to work things out and it must be scary for them after 9 mths of hearing your heartbreat and yo0ur voice and being snuggled in warmth to coming out into thw world and being put in a room to sleep on his own till mums go to bed.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Well last night after crying my eyes out with pain when James latched on, Alan went to Asda and got some formula. We gave him that at 12am.
He literally started snoring straight after and I was able to put him in his Crib (which is in our room next to the bed) and he stayed in there til 3am!!
I then gave him another formula feed at 3am and he slept til 6am in our bed (more cos i was missing him and wanted a cuddle!) and when he woke I tried to give him some formula but he didnt want it but still seemed to be searching for my boob. I gave him a dummy and it worked! he went straight back to sleep and slept til 9am. I then gave him a breast feed and he slept again through til 12.30!

So its been a good night! Not only have we all had a decent nights sleep and given my nipples a rest but by giving him formula I have realised that some of the time I was giving him my boob he didnt want it to feed but for comfort so its helped loads in that way cos now I can just give him a dummy instead! Yey!
So we are gonna continue giving him a night time formula feed as it seems to fill him up better and also means I can have a break occasionally and DH can feed him instead.

 

[Kimbo]

Well last night after crying my eyes out with pain when James latched on, Alan went to Asda and got some formula. We gave him that at 12am.
He literally started snoring straight after and I was able to put him in his Crib (which is in our room next to the bed) and he stayed in there til 3am!!
I then gave him another formula feed at 3am and he slept til 6am in our bed (more cos i was missing him and wanted a cuddle!) and when he woke I tried to give him some formula but he didnt want it but still seemed to be searching for my boob. I gave him a dummy and it worked! he went straight back to sleep and slept til 9am. I then gave him a breast feed and he slept again through til 12.30!

So its been a good night! Not only have we all had a decent nights sleep and given my nipples a rest but by giving him formula I have realised that some of the time I was giving him my boob he didnt want it to feed but for comfort so its helped loads in that way cos now I can just give him a dummy instead! Yey!
So we are gonna continue giving him a night time formula feed as it seems to fill him up better and also means I can have a break occasionally and DH can feed him instead.

yaaay thats brill, bet u feel loads better

 

[rachie29]

we do exactly the same... glad you got some sleep!!

 

[happy-chick]

Result Brill chick bet u feel better today!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Nice one!!!