Need sleep help!!

[Jen & Her Men]

James has always been a good sleeper...that is until recently. I dont know whats up with him but he wont sleep without me.

He will go up to bed about 9pm after falling asleep on me and we put him in his cot but then at around 11/12ish he wakes up and when he realises he isnt with me he screams. Last night Alan slept in with him to try and give me a rest cos im just so exhausted with it. But James just wouldnt settle for him and got himself sooo worked up. He was really screaming so after 5 mins or so I went in and as soon as I took him he settled and went to sleep but if i try and put him in his cot he wakes and cries again

SO I end up sleeping with him in bed with me but i never sleep properly as he is a proper fidget and pulls my hair/skin/mouth/ears etc and kicks me in the belly which clearly isnt ideal in my current state! Then if we do get some sleep he wakes up about 4.30am but doesnt properly wake iykwim and does this fake cry. He definitely isnt really crying but its a similar noise if that makes any sense?! Its sooo frustrating cos the only way i can get him to stop is to wake him fully but then hes awake and wants to play!!

HELP!! Im going insane with tiredness. Alix does have him in the day so i can catch up on a bit of sleep but its never the same as geting a full nights sleep and tbh i dont want to spend my days sleeping and doing nothing else cos it aint much of a life is it?!

Has anyone got any suggestions to get my little tinker to sleep on his own again??

 

[CoreysMummy]

The only thing I could suggest is putting him to bed in his cot, and using a bit of CC. If you know hes fed, watered, dry then theres not alot more you can do except comfort him, but leave him in the cot...

He may be crying because he dosent know where he is, one min hes asleep on mummy, the next hes woken up and is in this cage. mabey if he was in the cot at 9pm, then woke at midnight, he would recognise where he is, and settle back to sleep.

I really hope you get some sleep soon!!

 

[lisa&alex]

tbh... i think ed passed on his shiity sleep to james..



no im just kidding.. when they get to this age.. they realise what they want and they can get your attention by playing up.. you give in to their demands because your so tired. however.

i was told to do CC by my health visitor but i dont like it.. i think its cruel.. but we did somethign else. which re-enforces the baby that the cot is for sleep but you are still there.

over the weekend or when alans off you need to make a pact.. also with alix. that he is going to have a routeen. tea,bath pj's, story bottle and bed at a certain time.. not sure if you fancy pick up put down? they also say for this to work all crutches need to be removed.. bottles dummys comfort blankys etc...

what we did was.. all the above.. then put him in his cot and move so he couldnt see us. be prepared for lots of tears on the 1st night, instead of picking up and putting down i would get alan to do the 1st night as he is really attached to you at the mo.. once james has started crying get alan to sit on the floor next to his cot and pat his back or tummy and says shh shh when he is crying.. if he sits up stands up crawls.. get him to lay him back down and say shh shh. if he gets absolutly histerical alan can pick him up (no eye contact no talking) and put him on his shoulder (try not to bounce either) once james has calmed down get alan to place him back in the cot (dont let him fall asleep on his shoulder) then repeat the sh sh pats. hopefully he will go to sleep.

at this age they need to be able to get themselves off to sleep. because when they wake up and they arnt in the same possition they were in when they went to sleep it frightens them. and wakes them up.

this took us 3 nights.. and it did get better with each night.. the 1st 2 nights i slept in the kids bedroom.. and he woke up about 9 times.. towards the end of the night i managed to just say shh from my bed and he went back. on the 3rd night i slept back in our room.. and he woke twice.. now he is jsut sturing once and getting himself back off and then waking fo a bottle around 6.. so its working really well for us.. im not sure if this will help.. but i know how you feel ive been there (without the pregnant part ) you heard how aweful he was when we stayed over.. that was a normal night for us before pick up put down.. xxxx gl xx

 

[sunnyday]

Does he have his daytime naps in his cot? If not, then it may be a good way to get him used to sleeping in it. Also, perhaps try popping him in his cot for short periods to play, with you there also.

I would also be inclined to try and establish a bedtime routine that ends with him being put in his cot - preferably awake. Again, you could try and introduce this in the day with his naps - being put in his cot awake, with lots of reassurance etc and gradually he will be able to settle himself.

I think other than that your only other options are the CC or similar.

Good luck with it, hope he turns a corner soon. Sleep deprivation is not good!

 

[kelsey]

I agree with sunnyday, I think firstly he needs a bedtime routine.

At the moment he goes to sleep on mummy so when he wakes up its only natural for him to wonder where you are and cry for you as he associates you and your comfort for sleep.

Personally i dont agree with cc or pick up put down as I dont think its productive as when babies of this age cry its because of a reason - they haven't got the ability to think " I know I'll cry for the sake of it to get mums attention" they cry for a reason. Thats why a babies cry is like it is - its designed to get the attention of the mum as quickly as poss. (and boy does it do that lol)

So I would try doing this before starting any sort of cc or pick up put down stuff because with either one they are left to cry and being settled. I think it would be too confusing for him as all he wants is you. (because thats how he's used to going to sleep)

Once he's going to sleep on his own you then know he can settle himself, which is half the battle.

Maybe he has started waking now because he senses something (with you being pregnant), in which case maybe he just wants lots more reassurance.

 

[loz]

I'm going through exactly the same thing with Emms right now. I am having to co-sleep with her just to survive as I am working part-time. There is a sleep clinic in out area so I might go along to it. I'm hoping it is a phase. The HV also told me to try CC but I have tried and Emms just vomits and gets so distressed that I'm not doing that again.

No suggestions just

 

[Full of hope!]

I don't have any advice but just wanted to give you some 's. I know what sleep deprevation is like! I've got PND and when I was really ill with it I was only sleeping an hour a night, it was awful! On top of being pregnant you must be shattered! I hope James starts sleeping better soon, good luck

 

[Jen & Her Men]

thanks guys

Lisa Im gonna try what you did with Ted and see how i get on.

I cant do CC, it was bad enough listening to him cry last night when DH had him and James was crying his eyes out calling Mama never mind when I know he is in a cot on his own. I personally dont agree with it so Im gonna try other things rather than CC.

I have spoken to quite a lot of other mummies with babies James's age and it seems like it could be a bit of a phase so fingers crossed it will only be a short one and we can sort it out through establishing a proper routine which doesnt involve him sleeping on me and persevering for a while. We have a routine involving bathtime, bottle, sleep but the sleep bit is on me so I guess thats the bit we need to change. Its sad though cos I love my baby cuddles! But I desperately need a good nights kip cos I feel so ill with not sleeping and it cant be good for Pumpkin.

Thanks again guys

 

[happy-chick]

Just wanna say that although I dont like CC & after trying it found it was not for me I think some people may be offended by people saying its cruel & dont agree with it... its not cruel if the baby has everything they need & parents are next to cot or outside & I dont think it would be recommended by so many health professionals if it was so bad! I DONT wanna cause an arguement but I just think some people may find whats been said offensive & put them off this method, it works for some & not for others

 

[Sage]

is he teething? ky went like this a week before he cut a tooth. i thought he was coming down with something but the week after a toothy came?