Really stressed out..

[LennaG]

Im super stressed out. So Im 21+6.

However, for the past 10 weeks I've been dealing with a dilemma.
OK so..I had been sleeping with my ex boyfriend all of March. On the first of April (1-3rd) I slept with another guy, as being manipulated and emotionally forced to by my ex. Anyways, I took a first response and clear blue April 5th-7th and they were positive. I went to the clinic on the 8th of April and the test was very faint, but confirmed positive. They set me up for an ultrasound on May 3rd, which they measured me at 7weeks2days at a clinic...with a due date of Dec 18th.

Fast forward a few weeks, I went to my first OB appointment on June 8th. She asked me when my last period was, and I didn't remember, as I have irregular periods that can be off by a week or so. She ordered a dating scan the same day and I went, where I was measured at 13weeks1day..which is 5 days earlier then the last scan...with a due date of Dec 13th.

Anyways, so Im very young 19..recently moved back home after things went south with the ex. My family and everyone thinks the baby belongs to my ex. However, considering the guy I slept with April 1-3rd...Im just stressing out about who the father is. Thing is..the guy I slept with April 1-3rd was african american, while my ex is white. SO Im at the point where I don't know what to do. It's going to be very embarrassing if I have the baby and it turns out darker than me. While I am NOT racist at all, I just feel like it would be very embarrassing..considering the fact that everyone thinks its my ex's, which I've been telling myself it is because getting a positive test only 5 days after sex with the other guy is unheard of that early. This pregnancy has been so hard on me and my family already...and this has just been stressing me out from the beginning. Paternity tests aren't really an option, considering I don't want an invasive one and the two guys don't even live in the same state.



I dont need any negative comments. This is really hard on me and I know I made mistakes.

 

[LennaG]

If anyone has some input that would be great...really just want this to be my ex's baby like the U/S dates would suggest

 

[Flo1]

I think you should tell someone, you shouldn't deal with this alone. It may be difficult, but it will be more difficult if you give birth to a dark baby when no one around you knows... Anyone in your family you can trust or a good friend. I'd go for a family member, as they can help you bring the news to other family if it should turn out to be the other guy's child. Believe me, it won't be easy and hopefully not necessary, but you don't want to deal with this when you have a newborn in your arms...
I'm sorry you have to go through this and hope you have a nice pregnancy without to many discomfort. Good you have your family to support you.

 

[LennaG]

I think you should tell someone, you shouldn't deal with this alone. It may be difficult, but it will be more difficult if you give birth to a dark baby when no one around you knows... Anyone in your family you can trust or a good friend. I'd go for a family member, as they can help you bring the news to other family if it should turn out to be the other guy's child. Believe me, it won't be easy and hopefully not necessary, but you don't want to deal with this when you have a newborn in your arms...
I'm sorry you have to go through this and hope you have a nice pregnancy without to many discomfort. Good you have your family to support you.

Thanks for your input. I've thought about telling someone, but I really don't want to. Im really hoping it's my ex's baby. My family is already not very happy with the fact that I am pregnant so it's hard..

 

[BlondeP]

It seems to me it will be highly unlikely it's the other guys baby... I don't know anyone who has tested positive so early. Dating scans can sometimes put you forward or back as baby might be big or small (I know our exact conception dates etc but we have been placed nearly a week behind them from the scan) obviously only way to know for sure is when baby comes out and having a dna test if you think it's needed. But likewise as above, don't bottle this up, confide in a close relative xxxxx

 

[LennaG]

It seems to me it will be highly unlikely it's the other guys baby... I don't know anyone who has tested positive so early. Dating scans can sometimes put you forward or back as baby might be big or small (I know our exact conception dates etc but we have been placed nearly a week behind them from the scan) obviously only way to know for sure is when baby comes out and having a dna test if you think it's needed. But likewise as above, don't bottle this up, confide in a close relative xxxxx

Im really hoping it's my exs. Im not sure which scan I should go by tho, the one that put me at 7+2 or 13+1. My dating ultrasound put me at 13+1 (21+6 now) with a due date of Dec 13th and thats what my doctor is going by. I couldnt go by my LMP as I can't remember when it was, although most likely sometime within the first 2 weeks of march. Either scan puts conception around March 22-27th, so that would be my exs. Its just SO stressful to think about. This hasn't been an easy pregnancy for me, although everything is healthy with my baby girl, the emotional stresses have been so tough. Its really getting me down some days. Some days I'm happy thinking "Oh its for sure my ex's, theres nothing to worry about" and then the next day Im like "But what if it's not my ex's.." its just always in the back of my mind. I know the best way to resolve all this is DNA testing, but thats not an option as I have no contact with either men and they both live in a different state. Its just very stressful, which is why I'm asking for reassurance and input to try and ease my mind. I know stress is bad for the baby and Im trying my best! Im so young too, only 19 and will be a single mommy!
I know I should confide in someone, but I feel as if I can't. Im already so embarrassed to have gotten pregnant and things with my family are not good right now. It's not a good time.

 

[MrsB2105]

I think the chances of it being the other guys are very slim, however you still need to talk to someone. You should never have been manipulated into sex with anyone.
If you have moved back home I assume it's with your parents? Talk to your mum - not your dad as he will go kill your ex - they need to know what you have been through so they can give you the right support. Or if you have a sister, tell them and then tell your mum together. You will probably feel like a weight is off your shoulders when you have told them.
I hope your ex is leaving you well alone, and if he comes harassing you then get the police involved.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through this experience, and that you feel like you needed to keep it to yourself.
I hope you get some support soon x

 

[MrsB2105]

It seems to me it will be highly unlikely it's the other guys baby... I don't know anyone who has tested positive so early. Dating scans can sometimes put you forward or back as baby might be big or small (I know our exact conception dates etc but we have been placed nearly a week behind them from the scan) obviously only way to know for sure is when baby comes out and having a dna test if you think it's needed. But likewise as above, don't bottle this up, confide in a close relative xxxxx

Im really hoping it's my exs. Im not sure which scan I should go by tho, the one that put me at 7+2 or 13+1. My dating ultrasound put me at 13+1 (21+6 now) with a due date of Dec 13th and thats what my doctor is going by. I couldnt go by my LMP as I can't remember when it was, although most likely sometime within the first 2 weeks of march. Either scan puts conception around March 22-27th, so that would be my exs. Its just SO stressful to think about. This hasn't been an easy pregnancy for me, although everything is healthy with my baby girl, the emotional stresses have been so tough. Its really getting me down some days. Some days I'm happy thinking "Oh its for sure my ex's, theres nothing to worry about" and then the next day Im like "But what if it's not my ex's.." its just always in the back of my mind. I know the best way to resolve all this is DNA testing, but thats not an option as I have no contact with either men and they both live in a different state. Its just very stressful, which is why I'm asking for reassurance and input to try and ease my mind. I know stress is bad for the baby and Im trying my best! Im so young too, only 19 and will be a single mommy!
I know I should confide in someone, but I feel as if I can't. Im already so embarrassed to have gotten pregnant and things with my family are not good right now. It's not a good time.

The dating scan is more accurate than an early scan so go with the 13+1 x

 

[LennaG]

So its my exs baby?

 

[MrsB2105]

More than likely going from your calculations yes, and to get the BFP that close to having sex with the other guy suggests you was already pregnant with your ex, unfortunately you won't actually know until you give birth x

 

[LennaG]

More than likely going from your calculations yes, and to get the BFP that close to having sex with the other guy suggests you was already pregnant with your ex, unfortunately you won't actually know until you give birth x

Thank you. This has been really stressful on me. I know I should talk to someone, but I don't feel ready to. I know when the baby comes, it will be pretty obvious who's the baby is. I just really hope its my ex's and saves me so much grief...I just can't stop thinking about it. Some days Im like "Oh it has to be my ex's" and then other days I'm like "But what if its the other guys? Is it possible? I got the positive so fast tho if it it was.." and then Im up all night. Ugh.

 

[MrsB2105]

As difficult as it is try not to stress too much, last thing you need is to make yourself ill x

 

[LennaG]

I just don't know what to think anymore..

 

[MrsB2105]

Just go with it, enjoy the fact that you are growing a little human inside, when you feel ready then talk to someone ... Probably the sooner the better but do it in your time. You are going to be a mummy soon and when that happens you probably won't worry about who the dad is, especially considering they won't be in your babies life anyway. Your baby will be your life and soul ... So focus on all of the positives in your situation and everyone on here is so friendly, we all try and help where we can x

 

[LennaG]

Thank you...I just really hope it's my ex's

 

[MrsB2105]

Going off the dates it should be x

 

[Lil miss lee]

If u check the when did I conceive calculator going by ur due date it says u concieved March 18-25 hope that helps xx

 

[LennaG]

I just don't know when I could have conceived...I can't base it on my LMP because I don't remember when it was.

 

[Sparklegirl]

It typically takes 7-10 days for the implatation to happen and even then you wont get a BFP right away following the implantation so I really dont think that it will be the other mans baby. To get a positive on the date you did I would strongly say that it is your ex's baby the dates suggest it would be his

As others have said, talk to someone about the manipulation even if its an online counsellor who will help young people, they are out there and you need someone to talk to in confidence. Are you in contact or still with the ex?

 

[LennaG]

No he is no longer in my life