Ready to quit

[Becky1]

Why don't try combination feeding - switch to formula but keep trying at the breastfeeding too? You sound desperately unhappy continuing with bfing. I know lots of people that switched to formula and found that after the initial guilt they soon got over it and life got easier and more enjoyable xxx

 

[Lynds77]

I think this is it now. Had a terrible night. She won't stop screaming and fighting me and I hate it. I hated bottle feeding her expressed milk, but I don't think we have a choice but to move to formula as have been trying to feed her for over an hour now without success. I feel like the worst mum in the world that trying to feed her gets her so upset. I just want what"'s best for her and thought that was breast, but her feeding anxiety cannot be good for her and certainly isn't good for our relationship

Oh hunny I could have written this after I had my wee girl. I tried for 2.5wks, but could never get her latched properly, she always screamed and cried, and every feed had me in tears. I wasnt enjoying her at all and she only ever settled for my husband.
I pumped for a few days then moved to formula.
Almost immediately she seemed happier and although I felt like a complete failure and cried over my failings for weeks, I finally felt like I was bonding with her for the 1st time. I could soothe her with my voice and not just my boobs. I finally felt like her Mummy and not a half working milk machine.

I am going to try again with this baby, but I am trying not to put any pressure on myself. Especially with having a toddler to look after this time.

Good luck with whatever you chose, but it does sound like formula could be the best move for you both. Just dont beat yourself up or think you have failed. Not all of us can breastfeed. Its just the way it is. You have truly tried your best and that means you are a fab mummy! Dont ever think any different x

 

[Kay Kay]

Oh maud please don't feel guilty. You sound like a fantastic mummy who loves her baby to pieces! Please don't beat yourself up, moving to formula will not harm your baby at all and the guilt will soon go. She will have benefited massively from the breast milk you've given her already. Hugs xxxx

 

[Baby Bean]

Don't feel guilty hun, you've tried your best. Now you have to do what is right for you to let you bond with your baby. Breastfeeding is hard, the hardest thing I've ever done so you mustn't feel bad. Remember, your baby needs to eat and formula can't be that bad, millions of children have only that and are fine! You sound like a great mummy xxx

 

[BevG]

i comi fed dd1 boob and formula til she self weaned at just over 1, theres no reason you cant do both at all and formula isnt the devil, you tried and it was hard and you hae to find a balance that works for you. we did 4 formulatop up bottles of 5oz after boob and just boob at night and that worked for us. i have a massive squishy bed pillow on our sofa cos its awkward without it and hurts my back. dont feel bad as even just 1 feed gives antibodies which is the main reason to bf for me so weeks of extra immunity for life are good.

 

[Maud]

Thanks for all the support, it means a lot as I've been feeling so confused and guilty about my feelings.

We're celebrating a mini victory at the moment. After a formula feed and an expressed breast milk feed I decided to give reclined feeding another go. It took her half an hour, but she attached all by herself and, most importantly, she stayed calm! She's since done it twice more so we are going to see how we get on tonight. She is clearly a lot happier being left completely to her own devices. I don't want to get my hopes up,but this is such an improvement I am really hopeful we are turning a corner.

 

[Baby Bean]

Well done! It's probably partly because in your head you've made that decision so you feel there is less pressure on you. Babies pick up on our emotions so easily, not that that makes it any easier to change how we're feeling! X

 

[Maud]

Yes, keeping calm during her screaming and pushing away was very hard and I know she picked up on my stress but it's not something you can just switch off sadly.

 

[T84]

Yay well done maud, you have done so well. I am so much happier after deciding to express and bottle feed, a calmer baby and a calmer mummy. I think once you make a decision that you have a back up plan, your taking the pressure off you and baby, and bf could work better.... And if it doesn't, you have tried so hard and given baby such a good start. There's no shame in going to formula. Hope today continues to be a good one x x

 

[Maud]

Thanks

She just threw a bit of a paddy, but otherwise we've had nice calm feeds all day so far.

 

[Mummybexee]

Well done Hun

 

[HL28]

Well done!!!! It's surprising how much of your emotions they can pick up on and it becomes a vicious cycle. That's amazing xxx

 

[mum2b410]

Just had a bit of a read through hun- u r AMAZING! U r keeping going despite all the troubles! 3 weeks is a growth spurt time when they r always going to b more demanding and fussy anyway! Hopefully getting past that in itself will make things easier! All the suggestions from others have been great and sorry if someone said it and I missed it but did she get checked for tongue tie? I've heard this can cause all sorts of issues!...... I remember crying so much in the first weeks about the feeding and the pain but it did get better! One of the biggest things I was told was to feed him before he got to the point of being hungry so he wasn't screaming and grabbing whilst we were trying to latch! .....I really hope whatever u do u r feeling better about everything v soon! B kind to yourself hun xxx

 

[starryeyes]

Just caught up on this thread and I agree with mum2b410 - you are amazing!! I hope I am as strong and persistent as you when the time comes!!

Well done for getting through such a difficult time!