Ready to quit

[Becky1]

Sound like you're doing the right thing in expressing to give your boobs a break. I can promise you it does get easier but if it's not right for you both then it's not right.

I think at 3 weeks I was at my lowest and finding it the hardest. I decided to get to 4 weeks and have what me and oh called the 4 week review! I was all set to introduce formula, 4 weeks arrived and it had suddenly got a lot easier.

Good luck hun xxx

 

[tetra]

You did better than me hon, I hit a wall at 2 weeks. Alexander latches well but my boobs are SO sensitive, the toe curling pain just became unbearable. I've had 2 days off for my nipples to recover, I've been expressing every bit that I can and topping him up if necessary. And covering myself in lansinoh at every opportunity. It's done wonders, went back to BF today, gritted my teeth and it was nowhere near as bad. Maybe worth a try?

You're doing great, like I said, better than me haha! x

 

[naomip]

aw hun, you're doing so well. Don't beat yourself up if you have to go onyo formula. The most important thing is that you and baby are happy and healthy. My pain seems to be getting better. I've found that its less painful if I sit on a proper chair than trying to feed on the sofa or in bed. Must be something about my posture. X

 

[Maud]

Gosh this is hard. Even with OH doing the night feeds I've had hardly any sleep (and it was weird being apart from my girl). Pumping takes ages and Isabelle has caught up with me already which is a bit of a worry as we never had supply issues on the breast (except when I tried to feed off just one) Then there's the washing and sterilising and I couldn't sleep while she was awake with OH.

And OH just decided to change her nappy before going for his shower as he forgot to do it at the last feed so now she's griselling in the other room and I have no milk for her yet

 

[Potternutter]

Hey Hun, first of all don't beat yourself up! Whether it's formula or breast milk your baby won't care as long as it's being fed! There is no need to feel so pressured- I know you must be disappointed but in the long run it doesn't matter. I was bottle fed as my mums supply ran out and I do alright 😉

If you want to keep trying- defo start expressing and giving occasional bottle- it will give your nipples a well needed break, plus gets baby used to a bottle early giving you freedom later. My LO has a bottle every other day since 2 weeks just to get her used to it- she switches from bottle to breast easier, dad loves feeding her, and I get the occasional lie in whilst he does a morning feed- win,win,win!

Lansinoh is the best nipple cream- doesn't make you greasy. Definitely worth investing!

If you haven't already got one a nursing pillow may help. Also try different positions- I found lying on my side on the bed is the position she latches on easiest.

As your nipples are damaged at the min it will hurt no matter what you do- however check baby is latched on properly- full cheeks, bottom lip folded down, ears wiggling as she sucks) and if not slip your little finger between you and her and pop her off! Don't let her carry on if you know it's not right.

But most important- baby picks up on you- if you are stressed and upset baby does pick up on this! I learnt this when trying to BF in public first few times- I was so worried about covering myself up etc- LO went mad, wouldn't latch, arms flailing etc which isn't like her at all. Now if I'm stressed and she's having trouble- take her off, soothe her, take a deep breath and talk to her in calming tones to soothe both of you, I.e "oh dear me sweetie let's try again" in the calmest voice possible- sounds mad but it works!!

If it's important to you it's worth persisting. Remember- all the things above will help but they are not magic cures- if changing position doesn't work first time, still try it again! It defo takes a bit of practice, but being calm and patient is the key xxxx

 

[Maud]

Feeling really despondent as I'm not expressing enough to feed her. Ended up with her on the breast at least 8 times yesterday on top of pumping at least every 3 hours and by the end of the day I was just fed up again. Dreading the moment I have to resort to giving her the bottle of emergency formula to satisfy her

 

[BBaby]

It really is hard and those first few weeks it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So many people told me it would get easier and I just couldn't see how.

I had trouble getting lo to latch at the beginning and had to hand express for 3 days, then when she did latch she kept falling asleep (she was jaundice until about 6 weeks), I began pumping and managed to get boobs massively engorged, I spent so many days crying over feeding. One time my oh went out with friends and came back and I was on the sofa trying to feed her crying as the pain was so bad my nipples felt like they were on fire. I genuinely found it more painful than when I gave birth!

For me giving up want an option as I'm too damn stubborn and the fact I found it so tough made me more determined to persevere .... Now at 13 weeks it's a walk in the park! I can now lie in bed with lo next me and she finds it herself and latches straight on (while I semi sleep) it's great 😃

All I would say is if you can find the strength carry on .... You really will be glad you did in the end (feeding my lo in the bath is the most magical thing ever!) but of you can't really don't beat yourself up, you've done an amazing job getting this far 😘 xxx

 

[Kay Kay]

Maud I was in a very similar position to you. At 2 weeks I decided to move to formula (expressed for another week as told not to stop cold turkey). You sound utterly miserable so please cut yourself some slack and stop beating yourself up. I was sad to move to ff but also glad because it meant I started enjoying my baby as I should! And my nips healed up well. I understand how confusing it is but you've got to do what's best for you and your own sanity as ultimately that's what's best for baby xx

 

[Maud]

Quick update. Despite enormous amounts of crying, I amstill breastfeeding. Got over my fear of putting her on my most damaged nipple. Feeding still involves intense screaming by baby, much frustration trying to get her on, agonising pain during latch and general discomfort feeding followed by ragged nipples. But I am taking it one feed at a time and trying to grit my teeth and persevere.

 

[Clairethehair]

Maud you're doing brilliantly hun. I hit a solid wall around the same time and I turned to a bf supporter friend of mine over Facebook messages and she was brilliant. If you feel comfortable message me and we can talk more. I'm still bf at 10 months xx

 

[CamFi]

Nobody's mentioned the back-ache. Have you got a feeding pillow? my back was agony the first couple of weeks as I'm tall and even with normal pillows was ending up hunching a bit every time I fed. Getting the pillow really helped in terms of posture for my back, and positioning for baby so she latched easier. I also had a midwife show me how to use a muslin to control those 'helpful' hands. Good luck if you do go back to breastfeeding and well done or trying, please don't feel bad if you do have to go to formula in the end, it's really not a problem in developed countries where the water is clean.

 

[Maud]

Thanks for suggestions. I have so many pillows/cushions but I still always end up hunched over to get the latch. Sometimes I can relax back afterwards, but I really struggle with the reclined positions my HV and bf counsellor recommended.

I was all ready to quit when OH got home last night. But have managed to feed her without her screaming the house down the last few feeds. Still taking an age to get her on - just took 40 mins!

 

[T84]

Your doing so well hon! Please don't beat yourself up. I expressed after every feed when I was having trouble latching baby on and built up a 10oz stockpile. One day last week I hit a wall and decided to express only and I can honestly say I'm so much happier. The trick if your not getting enough, is to pump more frequently one day and the next you will see the benefit of it. I literally spent a whole day chained to my pump every 2 hours but now I'm every 3-4 hours and I'm getting 4-5oz a time!! Yes it's hard work also, but not something I've cried about whereas with bf we were both getting so upset. I miss the feeling sometimes but not enough to go through the stress again. Also great cos daddy can help! x x

 

[nic2013]

Really feel for you It can be so hard. With baby no. 1 I actually ran away from her screaming after a night of horribly painful feeding... but I persevered and fed her for 2 years and I'm so glad. So if you can, I really recommend getting all the help you can to get through this. You can always switch later if it's still not your thing.
Btw I just had number 2 2 weeks ago and it's loads easier this time... it will get better I'm sure

The suggestion with wrapping for those scratchy hands sounds good - works for me
All the best

 

[Lynds77]

Just re the expressing. Make sure you express during the night. When I stopped bfing and went to pumping I stopped pumping through the night as by the time I gave her a bottle then pumped I would be up for over an hr so got fed up. My supply dwindled very quickly when I was only pumping in the day x

 

[BBaby]

I had the exact same thing with backache and my neck was killing! Once you both get the hang of it and lo latches quickly you can use a feeding pillow ..... I don't even hold lo now, I simply lay her on pillow she finds nipple and latches and I have two hands free to read magazines and no neck ache xx

 

[Maud]

I think this is it now. Had a terrible night. She won't stop screaming and fighting me and I hate it. I hated bottle feeding her expressed milk, but I don't think we have a choice but to move to formula as have been trying to feed her for over an hour now without success. I feel like the worst mum in the world that trying to feed her gets her so upset. I just want what"'s best for her and thought that was breast, but her feeding anxiety cannot be good for her and certainly isn't good for our relationship

 

[AmeliaM27]

I think this is it now. Had a terrible night. She won't stop screaming and fighting me and I hate it. I hated bottle feeding her expressed milk, but I don't think we have a choice but to move to formula as have been trying to feed her for over an hour now without success. I feel like the worst mum in the world that trying to feed her gets her so upset. I just want what"'s best for her and thought that was breast, but her feeding anxiety cannot be good for her and certainly isn't good for our relationship

I think you're right to think about moving to formula, if you're both getting so upset with breastfeeding it won't be doing either of you any good. We have this built in need to breastfeed which makes us feel very guilty for stopping, that's natural and will happen whether you stop now or in a years time. I guess many years ago when bf was the only option that in built need was very important as there were no alternatives. But seriously everyone I know who has switched over (due to issues like yours) has felt extremely guilty when they make the decision but a few days later have said it's the best thing they've done. You've given it way more of a go than most would have xxx

 

[Maud]

OH is feeding her and I'm sat in tears

 

[AmeliaM27]

OH is feeding her and I'm sat in tears

just keep remembering that every decision you're making is for what's best and right for your LO, the guilt will fade very quickly and you'll be able to start enjoying her so much more xx