Breastfeeding mums - would you feel guilty?

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Rosieroo, Jan 16, 2006.

  1. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Be brutally honest now!

    Would you feel bad for doing a formula feed as your night feed to try and allow your boobies to recover and replenish?

    My HV told me today not to even consider giving her a boobie feed at 6pm if she is still being as demanding and to give her a good 4-5oz of formula. I don't want to do this, but am considering giving her a middle of the night feed and maybe a last of the night couple oz top up each night to help me out a bit as I am really struggling. But I feel really guilty about this.

    Plus I have a couple of questions...

    Formula seems thicker than my milk. Does this mean she'll get used to it and start demanding more from me and find my milk even less satisfying?

    My milk doesn't seem to be coming in any more even though I have been feeding on demand for the past few days. Is this it?
     
  2. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Hi rosieroo,

    I am doing exactly that and I do feel bad. Seren has one bottle of formula between the times of 8pm and 10pm as I am finding it so difficult to constantly feed her. My nipples are so sore and I find it really helps to give them a rest (plus it takes the pressure of me for a bit and gives me a break which is a godsend). I have found that Sren sleeps really well at night, whether this is due to the formula I don't know but it means I get a good couple of hours sleep. I am using SMA Gold. Seren will take the bottle and seems to enjoy the formula but does prefer the breast so don't worry about Ella prefering the formula. If you want to you could get OH to feed her the bottle of formula so she doesn't associate you with it, just breast milk but I feed Seren the bottle and have had no probs getting her to feed from me. If you think it'll help do it and don't beat yourself up (even though I do) as you are doing so well breast feeding still especially through mastitis and she will still be getting the benefit of your mik. You may even find that just having the formula means you relax more and this may increase your milk supply as being tense can hinder your let down reflex.. PM me if you want to chat x
     
  3. lulu

    lulu Well-Known Member

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    Hey Mrs,

    Dont you dare feel bad!!! you have been amazing with your breast feeding!

    I am topping up Jack with formula every feed as he doesnt get enough from me (my milk supply isn't good enough) I felt guilty at first but at the end of the day as long as baby is happy thats the main thing.

    When Im a little sore I try and feed with stored breast milk or formula. At the end of the day its better to give your nipples some recovery time and continue breast feeding than getting that sore you have to stop. Plus, what beanie says is true, maybe it will help you relax more, hence helping you produce more milk!!!

    Oh and Jack doesnt have a problem not wanting the boob, infact it sometimes looks like he gets more excited than he did before!!!
     
  4. Guest

    Damien used to drink my milk (expressed) and also formula when my supply started to dry up or when he needed a top up. Formula milk looks thicker I think becasue it is made from a powder and is almost like a milkshake type thing when made up. Damien fed the same whether he had EBM or formula so LO should be fine too I should imagine.

    I hope your milk isnt drying up hun. It's bloody frustrating :evil:

    And don't feel guilty!! You're not supposed to be supermum, and if you need to give her a bottle instead don't worry. She needs a rested and happy mummy to keep her happy :D

    xx
     
  5. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Rosieroo... that's such a hard question to answer. But to be very honest - I would feel crap about it, because I had done it in the past with one of my kids and he ended up bottlefed! It was a frustrating time and an identical experience to yours.
    Having said that - once he was given formula he stopped being so demanding, but in return, suffered horrendous constipation. I felt like such a crap mother and vowed never to throw the towel in again! Easier said than done though - I think I also wanted more guidance from my HV who in return just shook her shoulders. I also wanted someone to tell me what the right thing was to do, but no one could of course and that's probably why i doubted my decison.
    I think the only thing that will work is if you decide what's right for YOU!! We'll all have our opinions, but it'll never quite answer you question. You already know the answer and you'll have to work around that. So, if you decide to top Ella up with formula at 6pm - do it with a positive outlook and leave the doubting behind. That'll make it easier to stick to just the one top up and you certainly won't feel guilty.

    I'm probably talking too much now, but no doubt my scenario yesterday will make you smile......
    My husband started a new job in the city and we'll now only see him at weekends. Yesterday was my first day alone with 3 kids. Well, no one got lunch - I managed plain pasta at 4.30pm. Nobody got to bed until 10.30pm and I had half a muffin and a glass of water for my dinner. I got a sore tummy because I never managed to get to the loo. I'm glued to the bed, feeding this greedy little beasty. The only thing i can still do is
    find salvation on this forum...... baby on one boobie.... laptop on the opposite side!!!!
    Feeding around the clock at the mo.... how on earth will i get kids to school tomorrow? It's the start of a new school year here and school bell rings at 7.30am!!! Bloody early start - that's the time i just get to sleep!!!
    Nevermind hey, in a couple of years i would have mastered it - hopefully!!!!

    Hang in there Rosieroo - you're doing a great job!!! Be kind to yourself and think what'll make you and baby Ella the happiest!
    Good luck
    Emilia xx
     
  6. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    I might feel a little guilty if I did this, but if it were best for my baby I woould do it.

    I would worry though that my supply would start to dry up as the baby would be feeding less from me, and every time you give a bottle your body thinks your baby doesn't need so much milk. Maybe express a bit to counteract this?

    As for consistency...formula is ALOT thinker than breatmilk, that is totally normal.
     
  7. minikins

    minikins Well-Known Member

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    I totally agree, you are breastfeeding and that is an acomplishment in itself, so feel proud of yourself.

    Formula is richer I have heard but of course it does not adapt over time like breast milk.

    You are giving your baby the best start already and I don't think it will harm it's upbringing if you formula one feed. And if it gives you a break then you will feel happier and more refreshed for the next feed, which is better for you and your little one.

    xxx
     
  8. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    Incidently, what forumla do you guys use?

    I've heard Aptimil is the best as it has lots of the same stuff as breastmilk. Is it more expensive?
     
  9. Guest

    BOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO. i tried to breast feed but they put me on antibiotics and it dried my milk up within a week. so had to go onto formula. dont feel guilty, some things are just out of our control and main this is baby is happy and healthy.

    Alana is very happy and healthy (except a small amount of excema)
     
  10. lulu

    lulu Well-Known Member

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    I started using cow and gate premium but it gave Jack too much wind so I am now using cow and gate 'omneo comfort' for easier digestion. The H/V recommended it!

    Aptamil is organic I think!
     
  11. Guest

    I use Aptamil - the hospital and HV recommend it (especially for prems) as it had the same pre-biotics as breast milk so is at the moment the closest thing your gonna get to breast milk. It is about £7 (depending where you buy it) for a 900g tub. Don't know if that's more expensive than other formula's, but a coule of wuid to know he's getting more nutrients keeps me happy.

    Omneo comfort is apparently a good one too, they recommend that for babies who are windy/colikcy or have reflux that isnt cured by other meds/solutions.

    Don't think Aptamil is organic - to be honest I've never actually looked!! :lol:
     
  12. Guest

    Aptamil isn't organic, but it is/has:

    :arrow: prebiotics
    :arrow: Nucleotides
    :arrow: LCP's (AA & DHA)
    :arrow: Beta-carotene & selenium
    :arrow: Enriched with iron
    :arrow: Gluten free
    :arrow: Low sodium
    :arrow: Halal approved

    does that help? dont know what some of it means admittedly but you might!
     
  13. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I want to change to aptimal, Seren is currently on sma. How should I go about changing? She was on aptimal in hospital but due to it being a bank holiday when we got home the only formula we could buy was sma. She is fine on sma but I would like to change or should I not bother?
     
  14. Guest

    If she is happy then maybe leave her but it wouldnt hurt to change.

    I would try her on Aptamil it for one day and see if there is any change to her feeding (more sick, sleep change, etc) and if she is happy then keep her on it for a week to see if the is any change then. If she is still happy then carry on. If she dosnt get on with it - I guess it's just a few quid spent trying.

    That's what I would do if I was changing anyway.

    hth x
     
  15. Rooander

    Rooander Well-Known Member

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    You know girls Im so glad this subject has cropped up. Ive been so tempted to give a formula bottle at the 10pm feed. Not really for the same reasons as you guys but more so hubby can feed her and have that closeness. And also to give my boobies a rest.
    My milk supply is the same this time as it was with my first baby, in otherwords I have enough for twins!!! I feed Ruby on one side and I leak from the other into a bottle and get 2oz out just by dripping into it!!! As you can imagine this becomes a nightmare when trying to feed whilst out.
    So I thought if i try to cut out a nighttime feed maybe they wont produce much and wont wake up in the morning in a pool full of milk!!
    Any suggestions as it is becoming a problem, half the time I think Im going to choke Ruby, she takes one suck and thats it she doesnt need to suck again as it just flows, she coughs and splutters bless her.
    Any suggestions would be greatly recieved.

    Love
    Roo
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  16. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Well yesterday I was so tired as the night before Ella messed around from 8pm til 1am taking breast, expressed milk and in the end 3oz of formula. She still woke up at 3am (put down at 3.45), and then 7am.

    Yesterday I completely fed from the breast on demand until 10pm when she had a SMA Gold formula feed from daddy. I expressed at the same time to get a bit together to help with the night feed. She took 5oz of formula, I produced 3oz of breast milk. We put her down at about 10.45pm, she woke at 1am and was a bit sick but went back to sleep til gone 3am. Then she had the expressed milk and breast and went down until 7.15am.

    I'm hoping that if I keep expressing whilst she's having the formula it will keep my milk going, and if my milk starts coming in more then I will express off and once I've got a good 5-5oz put back then I will start giving her that instead of the formula. It's disheartening, but I definately didn't feel nearly as stressed last night as I have been on previous nights worrying about how much milk I've got and that she's not going to be satisfied. She's still getting all her day and evening feeds from me, and her middle of the night feed is breast milk, but it's just 1 bottle of formula a day to give me a break. She didn't go for a poo though in the night and hasn't this morning which is unusual for her, but I guess that's the formula.

    Thank you for all your advice, it's a really hard decision but I was getting so drained and upset with myself, and her (though it's not her fault).

    I wish I had your milk supplies Rooander!!
     
  17. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    Rosieroo,
    I really admire your perseverance with this. I am in 2 minds about trying the breast with baby 2.
     
  18. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    I have been exclusively breastfeeding on demand for 3.5 weeks but Rubie never seems satisfied and seems to want to eat constantly. I was getting more and more stressed and she was getting more and more hungry, so tonight I gave her 4oz of formula. I do feel guilty but it was for the best and allowed me to express some milk to give her in the night (my nipples are really really sore).

    If you express milk does that mean there wont be enough to feed your baby? I don't want to run out and have to give her formula all the time just because I want to express some...
     
  19. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Expressing should stimulate your boobs into producing more - last night when DH was giving her formula I expressed at the same time. I would have done the same tonight but I had to give her boob not long ago as some friends came round and really buggered up our routine as they stayed til 9.30pm (how friggin ignorant is that!). So she pretty much drained my boobs but was so upset at having to wait for it and because she was passed around whilst hungry that she took my milk and has just taken a good couple oz of formula and is still taking more.

    I'm really pissed off as I managed to get together just under 5oz of expressed milk today (which was bloody hard work and involved leaving her on one nipple for ages so I could express a bit off the other!) that I was planning for her to have instead of formula as her last of the night feed, but I've had to save that for her middle of the night feed as I have nothing left to express now for then. Feel really cheated that I worked all day at trying to get some sort of boob routine going and it's all been messed up because they were so ignorant and wouldn't piss off at a decent hour. She hasn't even had bathtime.
    GRRRRRRR!
     
  20. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    We had night like yours on monday. Folk came round for a swim, stayed for a cuppa and left after 9. I was getting so edgy as I'm on my own during the week and need to rest/sleep when pos.
    They're nice people, but still!! i decided...NEVER AGAIN1 I'll be upfront and let folk know that evening visits not pos at the mo!
    Puts me in a right fowl mood.... :x
    Emilia xx
     

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