Although our labour would happily fit in the 'traumatic' category, I got over the physical side of it pretty quickly. I remember saying to OH if I can handle that I can handle anything!! Everything that could have gone wrong did but I sort of just accepted it as we were both safe and that was all that mattered. I recovered really well physically as well which I think helped. The emotional side was so much different though and very unexpected. I just felt like such a fragile flower which really isn't me at all. I blamed the fact that as I'm a nurse we generally make very poor patients but since speaking to loads of others who stayed on the same postnatal ward, not one of them had anything positive to say about it. I think I basically sobbed my heart out behind the curtains from the minute my husband left until he got back the next morning. Then multiple times while he was with me until we finally left that evening. Considering I was only there to monitor further bleeding, I'd have been better off being discharged and going back in if I'd needed to.
We have managed to continue breastfeeding which was incredibly difficult with all the problems we had. I truly believe if I'd spent even one more night on the ward, we wouldn't be though. I was so determined to do it as it was the only thing left on my birth plan that I could actually still achieve. As the labour really didn't go to plan, I still felt like delivery suite acknowledged that and I did appreciate that they made an effort to help me have what I could even if it wasn't much by this point! By the time I was on postnatal, it was like none of that mattered any more. I really think I'd have struggled to cope with us not breastfeeding if I'd had to give up as I really felt like it was all we had left.
It's funny you should mention about your OH coping. Mine struggled much more than both of us expected in the early weeks. To start with, I think he found my physical recovery really daunting as I was so much more dependent than both of us expected. We don't have local family to call on so he was just so genuinely worried about how I'd cope. Add the exhaustion and the fact that establishing breastfeeding was just so so hard, we were both emotional wrecks by the time he finished paternity leave. I think he still misses our old life more than I do (mainly because it was easier!) but I think I see the positive changes more quickly as it's me that's with LO all day and noticing the difference in how I feel compared to a month ago. Of course we get very little quality time as a couple and have slept separately a lot of the time in favour of more sleep and maintaining our sanity!! We are focusing on the small things though. Like the other week we went out for pizza and managed to eat it in a restaurant before little man had had enough!! That felt like a victory!! We know it will get better.
I've given up my car while I'm on mat leave as it saves money and gets me fitter for free!! I tend to prefer walking to places and to be honest other than the extra time needed to walk, I don't think it's any harder than going somewhere in the car. Only benefit of the car is being able to go further.
Honestly though, get to some groups as just being around others who are going through what your going through just helps so much. A lot are drop in but I've block booked a few organised classes. They are more expensive but I figured I was less likely to come up with an excuse not to go and also it tends to be the same group of mums in the block so you have a better chance of getting to know each other.
I still have the odd wobble but generally I've found that the crazy emotions have passed but I definitely think it's linked with my confidence growing and just accepting the good days with the bad.