please say its just the baby blues

[Dee1985]

i cant stop crying, want no one touching Harley, cant go near a mirror.
the thought of going outside makes me feel sick i just want to stay in doors with my 2 babies (not very healthy for them 2) not get dressed iv washed my hair once since Harley was born!! hes 2 weeks old its filthy and greasy but i feel iv got no energy and every thing seems to much hassel even down to brushing my teeth in the morning. (i do thou lol) but all sems such hard work, im getting good sleep thou as me and kris share the feeds

 

[Jaidy]

Oh Dee, sounds like you may have a little bit of PND hun, feel free to send me an email/pm me. Have you spoken to Kris about how you feel? Just take one step at a time, you have been through a quick labour and things are still new, do whatever you want to do when you want to. Who cares if you have greasy hair???? If you feel you need some more help speak to your GP and see if he/she can help you out, there is loadsa support out there im sure. xxxx Thinking of you babes xxxx

 

[beanie]

It sounds like baby blues to me hun, you have been through alot in the last 2 weeks and your hormones are all over the place. I didn't wash my hair for ages either and was lucky if I got dressed before bedtime. If you fid yourself still feeling like this after another week I would perhaps mention it to the HV. (((Hugs to you hun)))

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i agree with beanie hunni
if u need to tlk i am always here for u

 

It sounds like the baby blues sweetie. You have been through ALOT recently, with the stressful end of your pregnancy with Harley, your premature birth for the second time, your daughter Dior is still young and you now have 2 little ones to run around after. You are bound to feel overwhelmed and bowled over by it all!

When Damien was born I was so knocked for 6 I didn't sort myself out for weeks. No wonder you feel a bit knocked for 6 by it all.

You're doing a fantatsic job, and even if you don't want to venture outside for a while, then I don't blame you. It does help to get some fresh air, but let yourself get into a routine when kris gets back to work, and then sort yourself out. Get yourself into a routine with the kiddies then slowly do a bit more each day. Forget the housework and what isnt essential, do the important bits like making bottles and getting the kids nappies changed, then slowly do a bit more each day till you feel confident with your routine.

We're all here to keep you sane sweetheart. Give me a shout if you need a talk, I know how scary facing a prem is and trying to sort your life out, although maybe not with 2 kiddies.

xxx

 

[Dee1985]

thanks girls , if it wasnt for u lot i dont no who ild talk to.

its stupid but i aint got any TRUE FRIENDS iv just got drinking partners good laugh mates none of which i trust, iv never even met any of u and feel u are true mates

 

I added you to MSN mate - if itr didnt come through you can add me. xx

 

[Dee1985]

cool hun iv added u, chat soon x x

 

[K X]

Hi Dionne,

We haven't chatted much but I just want you to know I'm here if you ever need to chat. I hate myself and my body right now, and Rebecca is 12weeks and it still takes me a lot of effort to get dressed and go out. I don't want people to see me how I am just now, overweight, pale, minging need I go on.

Like you I sit in with Rebecca, play with her all the time, but I feel safe and secure in my own house, that no one can hurt me or judge me. I am due to go back to work next month and I am dreading it. I constantly put people off when they want to come and visit, and my friends heads are so far up their own arses it's unbelievable. All they care about is having the latest Gucci handbag, or going to get their hair/nails done.

What makes it worse is I look in the mirror and know how I used to be, and I know I will never be like that again. All the stretchmarks, love handles the lot. I constantly cry every time my HV comes round, never been to any classes ie mother and baby. I shut myself away from the outside world.

Just want you to know you're not alone, I feel the exact same as you do.

take care xxx

 

[beanie]

If you want to add me, mine is at the bottom. I had bad baby blues which sadly did go into PND , and Kx I was doing the same things and feeling the same way. I was also having extremely bad anxiety attacks at night about bad things happening but I asked my HV and got help. I have got so much better. Kx if you want to add me too please do, don't be alone x

 

[Dee1985]

k x, we sound to alike, the main thing that gets me so upset is how i used to look and how i look now, after having Dior it was just a flabby belly easy to loose and i got a great body after 3 months but i think 2 pregnancies so close have really messed things up im covered in stretch marks i feel discusting my friends are like yours, fake tan fake hair lovely clothes but they look so great, i feel so safe in my house and dont have to worry abou Dior having her screaming fit in public,

my ideal life would be me kris dior harley in our home in my pjs forever lol..

bad anxiety attacks

what do you mean by these beanie?? you got an example sorry for being so nosey but last night i woke and screamed that Harley was laying face down in his cot! till i touched him i realised i was seeing things??

 

[beanie]

Mine were that something was going to happen to Seren. One example was if I was giving her a bath I would think "what if I drop her" then I could picture her lying under the water, and couldn't get the image out my head. This would stay with me all night and I hated bathing her. I would also think that people walking past me were going to snatch her from her pram. When there was that news story about that man who killed hios baby by putting the against the fire I kept seeing Seren being hurt like that by a man. Since I have been on the anti depressants it has calmed down a bit but I still find it tough. I can't believe I have admitted to all this.

 

[Dee1985]

really?? there is a park by us and there is a tiny lil wooden bridge with a river underneth, last night i lay in bed and thought what if dior and harley both fell in who would i save?? it was horrible..
glad you admited that.. hun, and glad you have been felling much better, i hope this passes with me just not helping that me and kris have just fell out and iv told him to get out.. urghh men... we never argue aswel

 

[beanie]

me and OH don't usually argue but in the early weeks we rowed nealry every day. You are both tired and its tough. It will pass. Thanks for your words, I do feel stupid and have edited my post as I am embarrassed. See how you go, like I said before take it one day at a time and remember we are always here. PM me anytime hun, take care xx

 

[lauramumof2]

Hi Dionne,
It sounds like baby blues you poor wee thing. Its such a stressfull time. 1 year olds are hard enough work without a newborn on top if that so dont expect too much from yourself. Take everything one day at a time and dont compare your self to other mums. Thats one bad thing about m&b groups, you look at the other mums, especially the ones that look a bit glam and think, how do they do it. Some days im lucky if i can remember to put make up on and my hair has never spent so much time in a hastily put together pony tail. I might just shave it off and thats one less thing to do

Speak to you soon

Laura

 

[Kim]

I have those horrible thoughts too. They were really really bad for the first few weeks but now they aren't as bad. I'm always thinking, what if? then imagining it happening, then feel guilty because if anything ever did happen I would feel like it was my fault

 

[michelle82]

Oh hun think the baby blues have hit you I never really got it that bad but was still fed up sounds daft but try and get dressed put a bit of slap on and go for a little walk it can make you feel loads better and more human again!

 

[Dee1985]

as soon as i get a double buggy i start getting out more i hope, but at the mo im house bound untill we get one!!!

i should have thought about these things when having 2 babies so close

 

[Manda]

Sorry you're feeling so down, i'm up and down all the time theres that much going on at the mo tho it keeps me going but like you the effort to leave the house is too much hopefully it'll get better when we get back to uk, the stretch marks will fade you can hardly see mine now and if it makes you feel any better i aint got fake hair or fake tan but i have a gorgeous daughter who i wouldn't swap for fake hair and tan

Have you got any mates with kids?

 

[Dee1985]

Hi manda, no i havnt got any mates with kids, i seemed to go the opposit way in life, they all still live at home, different bloke every week out getting drunk every weekend, i done that from the age of 15, (looked old for my age) by the time i met kris when i was 17 i wanted to grow up.. fast we got a flat together i had Dior then Harley, im now 21 and love the way my life is i love having children its amazing..

just need real mummy chats some times, the forums great but some one to go out with the kiddys with would be even better.

its jusy one of them days yesterdy i went shoppin for a new outfit its my mates 21st on sat i couldnt get any thing.. was feeling down and ugly went home and was lookin forward to snuggel up with kris and babies on tne sofa but i seen his forum, urghhh we had a row and its my first day alone with dior and Harley so its all to much at the mo, im in bed now lol
dior having her nap, harley just had a feed, im going to get some kip and hopefully feel better..

god look how long my post is, i could moan for england