did u do/say any thing embarrassing in labour?

[nicki]

I kept saying the probably usual things like -

'I can't do it' & when the m/w told me I could, I yelled back ' i can't do it , if I could the baby would be here by now' (i'd only just started pushing at this stage.

M/W was saying to me 'he's nearly here, keep pushing, come on, he's nearly here' My response was ' You keep saying he's nearly here, where the bloody hell is he then?'

When Jamie got stuck, yet again I was shouting that I couldn't do it & that they should help me & just suck him out for me.

I also kept telling them all (during the pushing stage this is) that 'I just need to sleep, let me go to sleep,i'll just have a little snooze then carry on'

When I finally pushed Jamie out I let out a huge breath & said ' How the hell does anyone have two kids? i'm never doing that again, you're having the next one Dave'

This is a really funny thread. I'd love to be a midwife, they must have so many stories of mad women giving birth!!

 

[kellysomer]

where do i start.....

'i cant do this....'
'make it stop'
'make it go away'
'i'm gonna poo'
i'm gonna pee'
'i dont wanna do this'
i cant do this, you can, i cant, you can, i bloody cant, you can, just try a bit harder for me, I AM BLOODY TRYING...'
'why is nothing happening (after 24 hours), it is shes coming, SHES NOT'
PUSH, no, push for me now, no, push NO I WANT TO SLEEP, CAN I SLEEP NOW (er no babys head is nearly there!)

BUT the midwives say silly things too, like when they were trying to get the placenta out and two of them were pulling, and one said 'just relax' WHAT YEAH RIGHT!!!

LOL dionne this thread is brill!

 

[bagpuss]

This thread is one of Dionne's best!! It is so funny!! It has also made me feel a little more relaxed about the whole idea of giving birth.Keep them coming girls,they really are brill!!!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I have no stories of embarassing moments but like a fewothers i enjoyed it, i was talking and smiling during labour and when they were pushingmeout ofmy delivery room to where they do the C-Sections i saw some friends andmy family sitting outside i sat up smiled and waved and they bursted out laughing.
When they saw me after Kiara was born they said you wouldnt know you were having a baby after doing that , they still bug me about it.
Katrina

 

[michelle82]

they kept asking me if i needed to go to the toilet once my contractions had started which i thought yeah i do actually thinking they would let me walk to the loo with my drip! WRONG! in they wheel the bloody camode(SP?) great! so off the bed i get she says i'll leave you to it, ben is still in the room, i started farting! had to make him leave i have never openly farted in front of him done sneaky ones and blamed it on the cats!

i also remember trying to fight contractions because i didnt want to push when they tried to turn his head.

the gas and air gave me dry lips (on the mouth!!) and the MW was asking if i had any lip balm!! i was in bloody labour couldnt care less if my lips were dry.

 

[Kim]

I didn't do or say anthing embarrassing during labour - how boring am I!!

But when I got a blood clot 'down there' after the birth (which was more painfull than the birth believe you me) I did beg the midwife to kill me

Good job she didn't!!

 

[futuremum]

Well in between my pushes, they made me get up to go to the loo and while i was trying to pee but could not i shouted " I am in Little Britain" "Do you know Little Britain? I am Little Britain"

then the MW laughed and I shouted " how dare you laughing while I am suffering, why are you laughing at me, you have no right!!!" and started kicking the equipment.

And this one i must have said a hundred times " I want a C section, I can't push him out" Oh, i also told my will to my OH because I was sure I was going to die lol

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i love the lil britian bit lol

 

[futuremum]

I thought i was that bloke palying the only gay in the village, apart from the stretch mark, our bellies were quite similar lol

 

[lisa31]

I just sat up and shouted "Yeah WHATEVER"

LOL this thread is making me laugh soooo much.

Dionne I was very similar to you by the end I was crying and i know I was acting like a spoilt baby - but it hurt and I wanted to go home! I remember saying "I dont want to" in a real spoilt brat childish way)w hen they were telling me to push. Sooo embarrsing now

 

[Vicky]

the only embrassing thing that i can remember is saying when i was ready to push i shouted out (mind you i was out of it) i need to poo, then i shouted i think i need to push then a big fat mw came in and said your mw is not here at the moment you will have to try and not push, i went i'm pushing.

Apparently i said something else but o/h can't remember what i said. But my mum said that doesn't matter now.

This thread is so funny

 

[jo jo]

well i promised my mom i would not swear. The midwife said if we turned the hospital radio up full blast we would be able to hear it through the ear phones as it was silent in there and would help me relax. My contractions got really bad and mid way through a contraction i notices it was playing classical music with violins and screeching sounds it was awful. I waited for my contraction to finish, took the gas and air out of my mouth and screamed WHAT THE F*** IS THIS!!!! oops My other OH has never got up so fast and the lok on my moms face was a classic.....

 

[LouisecH]

This is hilarious

My waters went 7 weeks early so I was admitted to hospital and put in a ward. I was in labour and strapped to a monitor with my Mum knitting next to me.

Me: (during a really painful contraction)What the hell are you doing?
Mum (leaning over me): Checking the machine to see if you're having a contraction.
Me: Is my face screwed up?
Mum: Yes
Me: Am I screaming?
Mum: Err... yes
Me: THEN DOES THAT TELL YOU ANYTHING??

A bit later when she started again I screamed "For christ's sake just KNIT". Poor woman was so scared she knitted two right legs in the baby trousers she was making.

 

[LouisecH]

Oh it all comes back to me now.

When the midwives decided that maybe I was in labour (I was 8 cms ) they dragged me from under the bed and raced me to the delivery suite in a wheel chair. I was pushing but I didn't know.

Midwife: Right so you're ready to push
Me: No way
Midwife: But you are pushing
Me: Mmmmmggrrrrrarggghhh, no i am not. Don't you think I'd know if I was pushing mmmmggrrrrrarggghhh????

I thought I'd decide to push and then push. I didn't realise that the sensation of my head and feet being pulled in opposite directions was pushing.

Then when Zara's head was coming out I tried to push her back in because I thought I was turning inside out. The midwives had to hold my hands away

All this said I really enjoyed the whole experience and can't wait to do it again.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

god that is funny louise

 

[Strangeness]

I was actually quite calm when I was in labour! I was induced and having constant contractions so they gave me diamorphine, after I had it I could still feel the contractions but was more relaxed! I remember my OH saying to me "Has the pain stopped?" Me: "No!" OH: " So why aren't you moaning like you were before?" Me: "Because I don't care anymore." I was well spaced out

I then had an epidural where I told the bloke to get the hell off of me after he couldn't get the epidural in for the 3rd time! Then I was asked if I wanted a c section as I wasn't progressing so I just said get the baby out of me!

 

[Rosebay]

Lol- hilarious!

My mum was with me as my OH was too squeamish so he and my Dad were pacing around outside for the whole thing. When we got there I had already been in labour for about 9-10 hours and the contractions were getting to the point where I needed some gas and air rather than just the tens machine so I asked for some but the MW said she thought I'd be ok without so while she was out of the room my mum told me to make more noises of pain (I was trying not to panic so I looked more in control than I was I think!) so when the MW came in I made a real whiney noise and she gave me the gas and air- result! Anyway she also then said I could stay (she had been about to send me home but I did not want to go home!) so my Mum went off to tell the guys and when she came back I was leaning over the bed with a huge drunk grin on my face going "this stuff is awesome!". I got a nicer (for nicer read goddess!) of a mw who was older, calmer and utterly brilliant. She seemed to think that my plan of eating bits of kendal mint cake (that hikers use in the mountains) was hilarious. And when I pooed all over the floor and spent the next 10 minutes saying "I don't normally do that you know" again and again she thought that was funny too!

When they eventually put Elliott on my tum I apparently said "what's that? Is that my baby?" to which my mum and the mw said "well it isn't mine" in unison! Also I've just remembered that towards the end when he got a bit stuck and kept coming and then slipping back my mum shouted down there "come on out they've got broadband, cable and three macs"!!

God I was so drunk on that gas and air it was fab! I even refused to put it down when she delivered the placenta so rather than wrestle it away from me she let me keep going bless her! Sadly by the time I had been cleaned up and my oh came in to see us the gas had been turned off as I really wanted my oh to try it! Ha ha next time he'll have to brave a visit into the room with me just so that he can have a go!

+++

 

[BubbleB]

LOL!!! i hope i dont do anything embarrasin this time lol

@seras birth i just lay there sayin "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO" and the mw was like for gods sake braiana just push and in a really spoilt brat way lol i crossed my arms n legs (like u dionne) n yelled "NO!!!!!"

@ bayleys birth i was sat there onthe bed and the mw examined me n sed "well youve got a while yet" so i was walking around the hospital and high on gas and air. apparently i asked the receptionist for the bill and then sat down and said this is crap service im never coming here again! then wandered around again and sat down in some ward somewhere and started pushing lol. mw found me soon thank god and got me back to delivery and told me to push push push and mum was standin at the end of the bed yellin 'come on baby!' and then out came bayley lol

luv braiana x

 

[Urchin]

Wow bubble did they let you walk around with the gas and air? Mine was fixed to the wall

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i love bayleys birth one hun
having gas n air again then?