did u do/say any thing embarrassing in labour?

[Dee1985]

PMSL you lot are all to funny

take it the midwifes are used to it then.

 

[Rooander]

With Josh I remember telling the midwife
Me " Im going to poo"
MW " No dear its the babys head coming down"
ME " No seriously Im going to poo"
MW "And Im telling you its the baby"

Sure enough I pooed, I was so embarrassed that i cried and said
" See I told you i wanted to poo"

The worse thing was, when she went to clear it up my waters broke right as she was beneath me. Needless to say I think she needed a change!!!!!

I cringe every time i remember that.

With Ruby it was so quick being in the hospital 19mins b4 she appeared, that the only thing remotely funny was that the gas & air mouthpiece was firmly in my mouth, with one massive push it fell out my mouth only for my hubby to quicly shove it back in. Bless him

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[beanie]

Have just rmembered the bath debacle. I was happy on my bed with gas and air when the midwife decided I would be better in the bath. I disagreed as I couldn't take my gas and air with me. In the end I was plonked in the bath and reverted to being a 5 year old

Me: I don't want to be in the bath
OH: Give it a bit longer it,ll help you
Me: No I don't want to be in the bath, I want to get out (sobbing by this stage)
OH: Get your belly under the water it'll help.
Me: No I really want to get out. I don't want a bath
OH: You wanted a water birth
Me: I don't want a bath, I feel sick (proper wailing at this point)
oh: i'LL JUST GET THE MIDWIFE
mE: i'M GOING TO BE SICK
oh: jUST GET OUT AND GO TO THE LOO
mE: iFEEL REALLY SICK (THREW UP IN BATH) i'VE BEEN SICK, i'VE BEEN SICK IN THE BATH. i TOLD YOU i DIDN'T WANT ONE.

Poor guy had to shower me off. Sorry about the caps, I didn't check til I had typed it all.

 

[Dee1985]

lol i was sobbing like a lil baby in labour too. proper sobbing likes not pooring out my nose not being able to breath not getting my words out trying to say i want my mum.

and u cant make me push, and the midwife saying i need to have a feel Dionne and me crying closing my legs saying "no i wanted the epidural and you said no so im saying no"

and on the last push when Harley was born i shouted fuuuuuuuuuu******k
through the whole push... i gringe at that too i really wish i didnt swear

 

[hearts81]

lol these are all great!!!

I was a complete embarrassment the whole way through my labour. I sat and cried in a corner like a baby for hours because the MW's wouldn't phone my OH til morning.

Then when they did phone him i was full of morphine so when he came in and started talking to the MW i screamed blue murder at the both of them for flirting with each other while i was laying in pain. I fell out with them both and never talked to them til after baby was born

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

LOL these are way too funny made me lautgh i needed that!
I never did anything embarrassing, thank god.
Katrina

 

[tracyM]

During labour with Daniel, I was adamant it wasn't a baby, I just needed a big poo. I laid there while they stitched me up and kept saying 'it's a baby'.

I had a morphine drip on a clicky thing after Callum. It stops you having too much, but I kept asking if they could just give me the damn thing to drink, but they kept telling me i was still nil by mouth. Ten minutes later - 'can I drink it yet'

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

"i've changed my mind I dont want this baby, i'm not ready yet lets go back home I want a home birth lol"

i did that i actually got up and went to walk out lol!

while they was monitering B heatbeat i kept saying i need the loo i need the loo lol and MW just sed no u dont its the baby and i was like i need the f''''ing loo if u dont let me go i swear ... lol and shhe sed fine go on then and my waters broke while i was on the loo, but i didnt realise it was my waters thought it was the baby lol so i shouted for my mum to come and she called the MW who pushed the panic button (me still on the loo lol) which totslly freaked me out so wen the doc came it took em 5 mins to pursuade me to get of the loo then (i was still leaking and i was convinced summit was wrong with my baby s nobody was saying anything but u need to get on the bed, i kept saying save the baby not me and after it all the miidwife was like u had to get back to the bed coz the head was nearly out lol

hello my name is sarah and im a spolit brat lol

 

[Em78]

my dh was so shocked as i normally have a potty mouth and i didnt swear once in labour!

i didnt scream, was really calm and just grunted with effort! he though he was in for a rough ride bles him!

the only funny thing was when they came to do my epidural, the guy told me to hold still blah blah felt the scratch etc then he said there we go its in now you can relax. and i was going on about how that was so much better etc. the midwife burst out laughing and the aneasthitist(sp) said well there is no anesthtic in there yet just the tube! talk about a placebo!

i was so sure it felt better i guess its just cos i calmed down cos i knew the pain would be over soon. then once it really took effect i knew about it! best invention ever

x

 

[Tan]

I remember with my son being in the birthing pool and needing a wee. The MW said not to worry and to just do it in the pool but I just couldn't do it. She then made me get out and walk to the toilet at the other end of the corridor. I was not in the slightest bit amused by this and was saying to my DH
"f*cking b*itch making me walk. I hate her and wish i'd had the other MW"
Then I realised she was walking behind me!

Later on I needed to wee and was on the bed on my back as I was having probs getting little one out. I couldn't face trying to get to the toilet and after what i'd said earlier, the MW wasn't going to make me go there either! So she put a bed pan underneath me and then all of a sudden I had this massive warm feeling down there and said "that wasn't a wee" and burst into tears! My waters had gone!

(MW also swapped soon after as I think I upset her!)

Tan x

 

[sophie]

funny topic!

I am such a drama queen Oh was dreading labour but i wasnt to bad actually.

One thing that i clearly remember was when i was in early labour i had my mum, MIL, an OH in room with me MIL was goin when it got a bit much, anyway i was leaning over the bed on a bean bag thing havin contractions, when a diff MW walked into check me, anyway she said 'not everyone can be in here u will have to leave' pointin to me, i was like ok then and went to walk out (high on gas an air) lol my mum an MIL were in fits the MW didnt find it so funny, she was a right misery! I also asked if i could go for a fag even though i didnt smoke!
My mum on the other hand was at the bottom of the bed whilst i was pushing shouting 'come on baby' come to nanny' clapping her hands, i was so embarassed. lol bless her!

I have to add though that i am one of them who really enjoyed labour an cant wait to go though it again!
xx

 

[Lindsay]

Sophie that has made me feel soooo much better, someone actually enjoyed labour - I have been and am scared by it all. I so want my LO to be here but am nervous about going through it all.

Xxx

 

[bubble_dreamer]

when a diff MW walked into check me, anyway she said 'not everyone can be in here u will have to leave' pointin to me, i was like ok then and went to walk out (high on gas an air) lol my mum an MIL were in fits the MW didnt find it so funny, she was a right misery!

that one really made me laugh!!! i can just imagine the look on the MW face

 

[Lauz_1601]

Same here I enjoyed labour, I was smiling and laughing inbetween contractions you'd never have thought I was in labour.

I remember the most embarassing thing, looking back now, oh the shame!
My bladder was full so Ella's head wasnt desending, I was determined not to have an catheter so the midwife got me a bed pan, I said I cant wee lay down, so I knelt up (still strapped up to minitors) knelt over the bed pan trying to have a wee! It just wasnt happening, sothe midwife was like ok we will have to catheterise you, I was like "no, no I just need to concentrate its nearly coming out, I can feel it, I just need to concentrate on it a bit more" Well after 10 minutes of "concentrating" on having a wee, not sucesfull and after that embarasment I ended up having a catheter anyway!

and another thing which seems wierd looking back now (at the time you dont care) was sitting naked in a bath full of blood with dave and my mum both in the room, dave sat on a chair, Ella in the cot thing and my mum washing my hair for me like a baby!

This thread is great

 

[sophie]

oh bless.
I know what u mean its the unknown. I was scared but ide go through it all again 2moro if i could!
xx

 

[sophie]

when a diff MW walked into check me, anyway she said 'not everyone can be in here u will have to leave' pointin to me, i was like ok then and went to walk out (high on gas an air) lol my mum an MIL were in fits the MW didnt find it so funny, she was a right misery!

that one really made me laugh!!! i can just imagine the look on the MW face

i mean was it not obvious that i was the one having the baby, i was huge leanin over the bed puffin an panting! the others were just sat down lookin normal! silly woman!

 

[bubble_dreamer]

 

[Keely]

I love this tread it has got me in stitches!! haha haha xxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

keely ull be posting on it soon

 

[K X]

The MW shouted my OH over when she could see the top of Becky's head (OH was spewing up in the sink in the corner of the room) she said "look what a lovely head of black hair the baby is going to have" and I shouted "no it's just my pubes I haven't seen down there in months, I'm sorry I should have shaved it!"

How bloody cringe worthy, funny enough Becky did have a full head of jet black hair!