Please please please help me

[Alfiesmummy]

I really am at my wits end. All Alfie is doing is screaming all day. Since he learnt how to stand/sit up himself he has become the most unhappy upset little man ever and its because he isnt getting his sleep.

He refuses to nap in the day and when he does its for about 5 minutes. He is getting fed enough and he has a bottle before each nap but now for example he is screaming his head off in his cot.

I have tried everything and i am going out of my mind. the thing is i KNOW its because he is tired and its the same at bedtime, he is exhausted yet sits up/stands up then and cries and cries and cries and he is waking through out the night too and doing it ... last night 3 hours he was awake crying and i just dont know what to do. I keep thinking let him cry it out but he doesnt stop crying.

He is huge i cannot carry him all day and if i bought him down and let him play he would be really wingey all day and moany and grizzly and bad tempered.

He wont sleep in his buggy either! so going out is impossible as he would cry in his pram.

what shoukld i do? am i doing the right thing letting him cry it out? or not i just dont know, because he isnt hungry he hasnt got any nappy rash his bum is clean he has no reason to be this upset except for tiredness and perhaps his teeth but since that tooth cut his symptoms have not been so bad!


im a mummy on the edge here girls really would appreciate some advice.

 

[Minxy]

Stanley (you know Alfie's twinny ) has started this recently as well, and I think it's seperation anxiety. He wants me to hold him (standing, or swingin him, or sitting on my lap) ALL day and is screaming if I so much as put him down to get a drink

Leaving him to cry it out is up to you hun, but it might be better if he was on the bed WITH you, as being alone might be part of the reason he's crying? Stanley seems almost scared to nap as if I'm going to disappear even though I'm always there when he wakes.

Think this is a pretty normal (but very frustrating) part of the last part of year one.

 

[Alfiesmummy]

lol our boys are very similar arent they.

Alfie is my entire world and if he was happy to stay awake all day i would have no problems letting him as he really is a lovely little boy (even if i do say so myself) hes very mild tempered ... got a mouth on him though haha but so happy and smiley but he just isnt happy to be awake though hes absoloutely exhausted.

I think you are right though Minxy every time i leave the room he goes on a mad shuffle as if his life depends on it to get to me.

I was cleaning earlier and he was just so upset i stopped everything put everything down and cuddled up with him on the sofa and watched shrek with him and he was just sat there swinging his legs smiling at the m usic he loved it. But when he is tiored there is no consoling him, hes always been difficult going off to sleep well except for at bedtime when normally he zonks. But now he is doing so much he doesnt want to think he is missing a thing.

HUe is asleep now, he fell asleep just as i was finishing posting last message, and he will i can guarentee wake up charming and happy and i seriously do think its a case of trying to see just exactly how far he can push me before he admits defeat and my brain is telling me to ride it out for a few days as every day he will cry slightly less for bed/naps ... but my heart tells me to pick him up and soothe him!

I dont know I just want to cry!

 

[happy-chick]

 

[rach]

hun i cant offer any advice but sending you lots of hugs and hoping he settles soon for you xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dee1985]

cant offer any advice im afriad
its just his age he is getting frustrated he wants to do so much but cant do it like walk etc or say things but cant tell you.

i have days like this too, when both Harley and Dior are in bad moods and winge all day.

it will pass xxx

 

[Urchin]

Put him to bed at the first signs of tiredness, it sounds to me like he might be too grumpy and miserable and over tired to sleep.
the first time he rubs his eyes or yawns, get him up to bed. Hold him quietly next to the cot for a while and shhhhh in his ear, then lay him down.
Will he hold his own bottle? Brody lies in his cot and holds a bottle, drinks about 6oz then nods off.

 

[Alfiesmummy]

he does Urchin but then after he finishes it he chucks it and up he gets. I will try that i think he is trying to see how much he can get away with too as he is very smart and persistant.

Thankyou so much for your answers I have really had a bad day but hes ppodling about now god love him being good as gold. Its amazing how 1 second he is amazing so pleasant and happy and full of laughter and smiles and the next he has turned into the spawn of satan i cant really blame anyone but mself he is so much like me its untrue!

 

[Urchin]

have you got a black out blind?
have you tried reading him a story?
make sur when you put him down you linger iin the room for a few moments.

Sorry you are probably trying all this stuff just trying to think of other options.
Does he have a teddy or anything in his cot?

 

[Alfiesmummy]

OMG i cant believe it.

well he woke up at half past 2 last night (2.28 to be precise lol) and i went in after 5 mins cause he was just moaning to start with i left it untiull he cried wondering whether that could be the reason why, that i was going in and disturbing him fully! well no 5 minutes later he was screaching for britain so i came downstairs and thought no, i know he doesnt NEEd milk so ill make him some juice.

went up gave him some medicine for his teeth and whilst i had him he was happy as larry wanted to be off exploring his room.

So i thought right you little tyke back to bed. kissed him goodnight popped him in bed where all hell broke loose, and i left him there, i sat next to his cot stroking his head where he promptly threw a tantrum and threw my hand away "i dont want your chuffin hand mommy i want picking up dammit!" haha so i stayed sat there staring forwards. After about 5 mins of him screeching i leant in and offered the juice ... nope didnt want that pushed it away kept crying. so i waited another five minutes and still no, then another and another and another, after about 25 minutes he accpeted the juice but then promptly spat it out in protest to scream again

I knew he wanted picking up because when i had done first off he stopped immediately so i KNOW the little nmonster is playing me. so i sat there and i sat there and then at about 3 o clock he acepted the juice, drank it in his cot, i stayed there untill he finished it and he was still crying so i got him another juice he drank about 2 oz of that and went off to sleep at about 3.30 so even though it was still an hour it was an improvement on the night before.

This morning he woke up with a rather heavy nappy lol from all that juice bless him,

anyways Urchin as you said when he did his first yawn i went up with him lay him in his cot with his bottle and left the room, i knew when hed finished it cause i heard him playing and laughing i thought he must not be tired but stopped myself going in. He winged for 10 minutes no crying no screaming no high pitched squeels that go through me like lightning, nope just some mild protesting and he lay himself down and went off to sleep. He is at this precise moment snoring his little head off.

I didnt once feel myself ready to crack up last night either, i didnt once feel the urge to burst out crying i kept thinking he will stop soon because he will end up wearing himself out, and i kept thinking about how much i had wanted him and how much i loved him and there was no need to get upset, just remember this is how it was when he was a baby and go back to basics. I got back into bed at half 3 relaxed with a smile on my face ... i think that made a difference too.

sorry for long post girls im just feeling very tuned with alfie today and i think it may take a few nights even a few weeks but i think that i could be on the right tracks.

Thanks for all your help and advice ladies you really are all priceless

 

[valentine]

Hey Steph,

So pleased that your night went well - it definitely sounds like you are on the right track and I am so chuffed for you.

I'm scared though - I thought it would get easier, not harder! Eeeek!

Valentine xxx

 

[missac]

thats such good news! i cried at the part about remembering how much you wanted him, i think we could all do to think thoughts like that when we are tired and frustrated (damn hormones, i am such a sap!)

 

[Fiona]

well done Alfie and well done Alfie's Mummy

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Last night alfie slept 6.30 - 6.30 this morning, he didnt wake up once and when he went down last night i had no bother from him, he went straight down and straight to sleep.
I woke up to his laughter this morning and went in to his room to be greeted to his big smile (cannot say gummy any more) and him standing up in his cot, the sun is shining bright and the sky is blue and Alfie is currently cruising the furniture, he ate all his breakfast and even a yoghurt and i am just so relieved that after 3 weeks of hell i have my bubbly, sociable, happy, smiling cheeky grinned little man back, and it has reminded me god how wonderfull he is. I thought hed become a grumpy teenager early!

ill be back later ladies i am going to share this lovely day with my son and I will speak to you all tonight, have great days everyone

 

[Urchin]

yay great news, glad to help

 

[foxymum]

awww thats brilliant Steoh, keep up the good work