People asking you if you're ttc & update

[CatBana]

...is it just me or is it not an incredibly personal question to ask? Nurse 26's thread got me thinking about all the times people have asked me if I'm going to have another one (dd is 5). And it's always people who have 2 or more kids themselves. There's a few mums that have asked me 'don't you want another one??' as if I'm purposely being cruel to my daughter for making her an only child (which is actually something I feel really guilty about) or don't enjoy motherhood enough to do it again. The thing is, I was brought up to not ask personal questions and it never fails to take me by surprise when people ask, it's the fact they're not close to me, yet still ask. I only have a few close friends and when they ask I tell them I'd love another one but leave it there and they have the good sense and courtesy not to pry further. The other week having small talk with a taxi driver he told me one wasn't enough I should be having more!!! I wanted to say 'actually mr. taxi man, fertilisation is easier said than done'!! I think it's because I'm 27 they presume if I'm not pregnant it's out of choice when really we've been ttc for 17 months. My husband says I should just lie, don't give anyone info about myself, but next time I might snap 'it's easier said than done for some people.' At least they might think twice next time they ask someone, they might spare a thought that the person isn't finding it as easy as they did.

Sorry this post is negative but I'd love to hear if someone else is going through this too.
I'm still having issues but had a bit of good news, I told my gp 2 months ago we weren't pregnant yet and she arranged 21 day bloods and semen analysis for us. Both came back normal! Which was a relief, of course there could be something else wrong, but I've got a gynae appointment for next month to mark the 18th month of trying and I guess we'll find out more then. I'm hoping the reason we're not pregnant yet is because we don't bd enough. Anyway must try to stay positive and use that feminine strength that only us women have xoxoxo

 

[Tracey M]

I get it all the time - my son is 4 now.... I knew I wanted another almost immediately but wanted to have a 3 year gap. Now it will be a 5 year gap. I stayed in WWT cos I was overweight and needed to sort out my business first (self employed) so needed to time things right. Maybe I should not have been so wary on my weight and work cos now I'm 38 and my biological clock is ticking....

Good luck TTC honey I'm sure it will happen for you. Have you tried tracking your OV time with OPK's ? maybe that way you can make sure you bd at the right time....

 

[LouiseB]

I think you just have to put it into perspective and try to look at what the other peoples intentions are when they ask questions about ttc.

If you try to look at things from another point of view it is actually nice of them, rather than intrusive.

They must think you are a good mother already and could cope very well with another if they are trying to encourage you to have more...

They must want to be part of the excitement that you would experience, which i'm sure you'd be grateful of when you are actually pregnant.

I also wonder if you would be so offended if you had only just started trying

It's hard and it does take over our lives and it is difficult to apprecite things for what they are intended to be - everything feels like an insult or something that is being rubbed in our faces, but that is our problem - not anything they have done.

I hate ttc to, but when you give up even trying to be happy - you're in for a world of pain.

 

[Nurse 26]

Although we have only been ttc since september really, we got married 2 years ago and it seemed like the minute that we got back from our honeymoon people were asking us when we were going to start a family!

It didnt bother me too much as we were not trying the first 2 years of being married i just shrugged it off, now my friends are asking me all the time (nearly all my friends are married and have at least 1 child) none of them know about my mmc and i;m sure if they did they wouldnt be asking like this.

My family and OH's family know about MMC so they don't ask but i know they are all talking to each other (OH's family are TOTAL gossips).

 

[Esperanza84]

I know how you're feeling. Since we got married (in March) everyone is asking. I too feel it's a very personal question to ask, but I just think that the people asking don't realize what we're going through. It was probably easier for them to conceive than for us. I we start IVF than I will probably tell people, but until then I will just say; "No, we don't want any kids yet. Need to finish our house and education first" (as I always say).

 

[kirlou]

we moved last month and all i keep hearing is 'new home, new baby' annoying but would love it to be true!

 

[Bead]

I know how you feel... it amazes me that there are people who KNOW we've been trying for so long and not managing to conceive, and yet still keep asking!
I don't really mind talking to people about it, but would rather DH and I initiate the conversation with people that we're happy discussing it with.
Xx

 

[Pickledonions]

I always get asked and after 14 months it gets very tedious. A couple of times I have felt like shouting a rude swear word at ppl. My grandad asked today too......I think he thought I already was...must be putting on some festive plumpness

 

[Esperanza84]

A friend of mine asked why I wasn't going to drink at the party on Saturday:S It's like it's not aloud going to a party without getting wasted...than you MUST me pregant or something:S This drinking culture is driving me mad:S!

 

[Esperanza84]

A friend of mine asked why I wasn't going to drink at the party on Saturday:S It's like it's not aloud going to a party without getting wasted...than you MUST me pregant or something:S This drinking culture is driving me mad:S!

* allowed (not aloud)

 

[positivity :)]

its annoying isn't it. i was out with freinds recently who are both younger than me and have children. we bumped into someone we all know and she asked after my friends kids and then of course said 'and do you have any yet'! i was really annoyed with myself because i actually felt EMBARRESSD that i don't, not only for myself but i knew my friends kind of felt embarrassed too!! horrible! xx

 

[charliesmissing]

I'm always being asked that, not helping that i'm surrounded by my friends who are being smug parents

 

[dita_parlo]

Ever since we got married people have been asking us when we're having a baby. As if we got married just to have a baby. They've learnt to stop asking now, ha which is funny seeing as we're only just starting to try now!