How do you know when you are ready?

[Yorkshirelass]

Hi everyone, I'm new and just wanted to ask everyone how they knew they were ready to start trying. I'm nearly 37 and I'm beginning to think that I'm never going to be ready to make the decision about whether to have a family or not, so it may sound daft but how did you all decide? I don't have that maternal drive that some people get but obviously don't want to leave the decision too late. The only thing I know is that I've started to feel really jealous when I find out friends/family members are pregnant though I have many fears about being pregnant myself. One of my worries is that I'm quite skinny so would I be strong enough to carry a baby? Also I worry about silly things like morning sickness at work (bearing in mind my boss has many children and is some kind of superwoman who had a few days maternity leave after each one and that was it!)

Your thoughts would be great thanks!

 

[Minxy]

I don't think you're ever ready! You can overthink things too much, but the jealousy thing is a good sign. Remember you don't decide to start a family and find a newborn on the doorstep, you get nine loooong months to adjust. And adjust you do.

Work is tough. All I can say from that point is I don't fret over sick days now as much as I used to. Parenthood changes life perspectives and you won't give a stuff about your boss!!

And don't worry about the skinny thing. We have some teeny mums on the forum who've done just fine.

Good Luck! (and welcome )

 

[Yorkshirelass]

Thanks Minxy!
I think my major problem is that I'm a bit of a worrier (about everything!!).
Anyway, I've just come off the pill, partly because I think it's making me irritable, so by the time everything has settled back to normal with the old hormones -perhaps I will be a bit more ready. I think I'll come back on here to air some more worries though so be warned!!

 

[mrs_metal]

We decided to start trying just before I turned 37, I basically discussed it with Hubby and pointed out it's now or never! I definitely wasn't ready (probably still not) but I do want one. You'll be fine and as Minxy says you get 9 months to get used to the idea

 

[EllieBelle]

I wasnt ready until recently, had a great career, wanted to spend time with DH on our own, enjoyed our luxury holidays away etc.....mainly selfish reasons to be honest.

Then one day I literally woke up and wanted to be a mum......and now I am more than ready (good job really as he is due in Jan ). Im now 34 and DH is 40, I have had a great career, and now looking forward to becoming a stay at home mum for the next couple of years.

Personally I think if you have to ask the above question, you are not quite ready yet!

 

[HollyHobby]

37 too! it must be the age where you start feeling like youre getting on! Now or never kind of thing!!
I don't know how you know youre ready, I think it's just something that goes through your head one day, and then the next and before you know it youre on a forum discussing your mucis and ovaries with perfect strangers

 

[VickiH]

I think the idea grew on me! Until recently I wasn't sure and although people said to me I'd adjust over the nine months, I didn't want to get myself pregnant, have a baby and realise I'd made a mistake! I always figured it was best to regret not having children rather than regret having them!

So... I think you just know when you're ready because daft fears aside it's what you want more than anything else life can give you!

 

[CoreysMummy]

Was something I got thrown into...! I dont think anyone can be 100% ready... but hey ho!

Dont worry about the skinny thing. I was 7st 7lb before pregnancy with a bmi of 16. I put on nearly 3 stone when pregnant, practically ALL in the bump. I carried the heavy porker just fine Dont worry!

 

[Yorkshirelass]

The trouble is, if I accidentally got pregnant, I would probably be really scared but excited and happy but because I always think big decisions through carefully I just feel like I'm never going to decide. I mean you can never really know what it's like to be a mother 'till you have experienced it right? And like VickiH I feel like I don't want to regret having kids, aaarghh! Sorry everyone, I know most of you are trying to have them so this post must seem a bit frivolous, I just wish I had some strong maternal urges as it would make it much easier to decide! Part of the problem is that I'm not often around babies/children so maybe I do have maternal instincts but just don't know about them yet!

 

[VickiH]

Well then you could try being around children more and see how you go! Make friends with some local mums or volunteer somewhere.

Or try dog sitting for somebody for a week. I know it sounds daft and it's not the same but you'll be able to see how you go with taking on the responsibility of having to make allowances in your schedule for walks and feeding, and not being able to go out for hours at a time to do your own thing. A puppy to watch 24/7 is even better fun - Good practice for when baby starts walking and wanting to explore everything in sight!