Opinions needed, I feel such a fool :(

[Hunnie]

Ill admit straight away that I honestly feel like the biggest brat ever and I feel so ashamed of myself

Basically my problem is based around mine and OHs housing situation and the stress and we are going through with buying our first home together.

We have both been looking at houses for a while and are currently going through the process of buying a particular house (but aren't in deep enough that we cant get out of it all still). I absolutely adored the house when we first saw it as it suited both me and OH as it provided him with parking for his car as well as a double garage to play in whilst I got the cute country cottage type of house that I have a real soft spot for. The problem with most houses in our area that are of the price bracket we can afford is that very few provide off street or adequate parking so it is a real important factor for us.

The problem has now arisen in the back of my mind that we are making the biggest mistake ever buying this house and that we need to get out while we can and take our time in finding something that is more suitable as essentially we can afford to rent for a few months once the baby is here until we find the house for us.

I think the only way of explaining to you all why Im feeling like this is through pro's and cons.

PRO'S
The house is in the country side and it is very quiet.
There is adequate parking for both mine and his cars.
The house inside is cosy.
The house is cheap to heat and run because of its size.
Furniture is supplied with the house.
The double garage means my car will get fixed a lot sooner if its poorly.

CON'S
There is a massive electricity pylon behind the garage and another in the field about 40m away.
The area is quiet but a bit too quiet and we only have one next door neighbour and then nobody for a good mile or so and I would be on my own a lot with the baby because OH works really unsociable hours and isnt home a lot.
The house only has a lounge and a kitchen downstairs.
One of the bedrooms is big enough for the baby's cot but in the long term it isn't big enough for an older child.
The land to the side of the house isnt owned by the house and is instead the next door neighbours and he wont sell or might possibly sell but at a hefty price. He has also made it clear he will object to any building consents.
We agreed a deal with the owner to pay £10,000 more for the house than what it was valued at.
I worry that we would struggle to sell the house again and would then be stuck with it or end up loosing money on it.


Overall I feel such a fool because I just feel that I forced OH into agreeing with me and putting up with all the sellers crap because I worried that we wouldn't find anything else suitable, instead of going about all this in a much more sensible way and taking our time . I also think the fact that we are paying more money for the house than its worth is just absolutely stupid, especially as there are bigger houses for sale for that amount of money and I think we will soon outgrow the size of the house .

Am I right to be worrying about it all do you think?

 

[babybo]

Aww hunny you need to talk to oh. Lay your cards down and ask him to do the same?
I think your worrying for good reasons but I also think you are also panicking?
Hun you need to talk to oh. Do it now incase you regret it xxxx

 

[Hunnie]

Ive spoken to him about it all and I just feel like he's going along with what Im saying just to keep me happy, rather than tell me exactly what he thinks of it all. He said to me he was just a bit disappointed in me as we've had so much hassle with this house and he was quite happy to throw the towel in months ago but he carried on because he knew I wanted it so much and now he feels quite happy living there where as I really don't .

I worry more about being on my own as its on the top of a hill on an open moor and because we don't have a garden and the house isnt big enough we wouldn't be able to have a dog to make me feel a bit safer as Ive always had a doberman or rottweiller at home that make me feel a little bit more secure (even if the Doberman is useless lol).
I know with most other houses and of course the baby that a dog wouldn't be the greatest idea to have but if I was a bit closer to my parents and people we know I would feel a lot safer and comfortable I think.

I also dont know if Im acting like this because Ive found a few other houses that would actually be a lot more suitable for us that provide us with both a garden, more room and parking. Ive booked some viewings for Wednesday anyway :/.

 

[hellywelly]

I think you need to be very sure about this and if it doesn't feel right then don't do it. Take your OH to the other viewings on Wed, hopefully he will agree that they are much more suitable, and then it won't seem so bad to pull out of the other one!!! The Cons seem fairly large and in all honesty, by the tone of your thread, I think you've already talked yourself out of it. We bought an old house and have been through untold heartache ripping it apart and putting it back together, but even during the most awful times, we knew it was the one for us, and that the location and space were spot on. Good luck! xxx

 

[Bee7]

Bless you hun, it's such a huge decision and i can imagine it's very very stressful. To be perfectly honest i think you need to be 100% sure about a property before you commit to buy. You can't just rush into something and settle for something that's not suitable. The house itself sounds lovely but the location would put me off a little bit. Being home alone with a baby is probably going to feel isolating in itself, so do you really want to be 'cut off' to the point where you're a mile or so from other people? That's just my opinion though.

On the other hand, you're bound to have doubts about making such a big decision and are your just fretting and panicking over something that could be fine? Only you can decide, i'd go with your gut feeling. Don't feel silly or ashamed for backing out if that's what you want to do, it's completely your right.

My OH and i both still live with our parents in an attempt to save as much as possible before baby arrives so we'll have the unenviable task of finding somewhere to live when i'm about 7 months pregnant. Ideally i'd like to stay close to my family but since we'll only be renting it's not so much of a big commitment if i can't find a property i love straight away.

Good luck hun, hope it all works out for you xxx

 

[beckyboo1]

You def need to be 100% sure before you go through with it and by the sounds of it you aren't.
We'vebeen thru a similar thing earlier this year. We found a house we thought we wanted put offers on, spent a few weeks going through with it all but on the end I knew it wasn't for us. We went to look at another one and ended buying it and are so happy.

Go with your head when buying a house it's a big step to take and not one you can get out of easily. Not e where you are but paying over the asking price seems odd considering the economy etc xx

 

[babybo]

You need to be 100% when buying a house hunny. It's a huge decision and you don't want any regrets?
X

 

[Hunnie]

Go with your head when buying a house it's a big step to take and not one you can get out of easily. Not e where you are but paying over the asking price seems odd considering the economy etc xx

Its all down to my fault! The sellers originally told us that the house had been valued at a lot more money so we managed to find a way of getting the money, to then find that they hadn't actually had it valued and when they did finally get the valuation done it was at a lot less than they expected so they didn't want to sell. OH decided to meet them half way and offer them that little bit more money as a way of convincing the sale more than anything as again my fault because I worried we would never find anywhere else !!!!! (I regret it so much!!). I really don't trust the seller at all either tbh. Im just going to see how Wednesday goes but I think we will be pulling out of the sale on that particular house regardless of how these houses go this week. Id much rather wait now I think!!

 

[Bri]

Girrrrl just consider that quietness to be peace, and enjoy your new house.

 

[beckyboo1]

Aarrgghhh pull out now and I bet you'll feel so relieved. I know you will maybe for now and the next couple of years you need to get somewhere with a few more people around you ESP with a LO on the way. There is a house out there that is right for you just look at the ones on wed with an open honest mind xx

 

[stacey_lea86]

Buying a house is a HUGE commitment. So if you're not 100% then don't go through with it. You'll only regret it when you see other houses you could of had instead in the future.

Good luck - hope all goes well for you!

xxx

 

[Hunnie]

Thank you everyone . Well the morning after and I feel even more of an idiot for reacting about it all like I have done. I'm just gonna see how Wednesday goes and go from there I think :/ x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Buying a house completely overtakes any 'umming and ahhhing' you may have done in the past. If your going to spend 100's of thousands of pounds on something, make it something that YOU REALLY WANT!!!

Selling a house is bloody difficult at the moment, this economy is screwed it really is.

Why buy a house when you wont be able to have even one older child in it? That doesnt make any sense to me at all... If it were 10 years ago, and you were going to buy it, do it up a bit and sell it again then fair play. But NO ONE is buying houses anymore! No one!

especially not for 10k over the valuation!

our house was valued at 179 and we are struggling to sell it for 169... its in a great area

back out NOW and find something you are really comfortable with and will be comfortable with for some time x

 

[suzzi]

i think your doing the right thing waiting till wednesday, a few things i would be thinking about would be.
are your relations close or can they get to you easy
if you need food/medicine is there somewhere close by
how far are you from schools/drs/shops etc
why did the seller think the house was worth more? why are they moving?

if you really are isolated you will struggle, ive been their but thank goodness only rented so was able to move out, it made me so miserable i was ill.

if you have any resovations dont do it.

 

[Hunnie]

i think your doing the right thing waiting till wednesday, a few things i would be thinking about would be.
are your relations close or can they get to you easy
if you need food/medicine is there somewhere close by
how far are you from schools/drs/shops etc
why did the seller think the house was worth more? why are they moving?

if you really are isolated you will struggle, ive been their but thank goodness only rented so was able to move out, it made me so miserable i was ill.

if you have any resovations dont do it.

Ill answer all your questions as I think it will help me to think about everything tomorrow when I go looking.

The original house is 10 miles away from my mums and about 7 miles from his mums. The closest shops are at the bottom of the hill which takes 10 minutes or so to get to but its only a small shop or a shop at the petrol station. Shops in the town aren't brilliant but its close to the butchers and his work, there's a primary school about 5 mins away but it isn't the greatest and is a bit isolated. The seller thought their house was worth more in the first place because he owed nearly just as much on the house as what it was worth so he basically didn't want to sell and although he is emigrating he was just going to sell the house whilst he was in his new home overseas. At the time I thought we wouldn't find anything that would suit either of us and just went into it all like a bull in a china shop.

I've definitely learnt my lesson with it I think and Im going to be so much more careful when it comes to looking this time!

Tomorrow Im definitely going to ask why both sellers are selling. The first house we are looking at is isn't either of ours favourites and we both aren't overly fussed with it but Im going to use it as a comparing session with the one we both prefer already and try and go into both with an open mind. Both of the houses we are looking at tomorrow are closer to shops and our friends and relatives. My mums going with me tomorrow as well and she's usually very good at having an open mind and I think a different opinion will help.

OH has definitely come round to the idea of not buying the original house and his mum has strengthened it by agreeing with me that she doesn't trust the guy who is selling it.

Ill let you know how it goes tomorrow thank you again ladies. xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

when you have a look round, try and 'feel' the house as well as see it... can you see yourself living there? washing up at that sink? If you start looking at it as if its already yours, you will get a sense of all the things you need to change about it lol

Our temp house was a dump, the floor smelt bad and the kitchen was dirty but i knew from looking at it that it could be mine... which makes all the difference

 

[beckyboo1]

Hope all goes well today hunnie and like big bump said try to imagine yourself there. The house we bought was really quite old fashioned but I knew we could make it ours with a bit of tlc.... And replacement of some stuff (hence why we've had no kitchen for 8 weeks!!!!)

I do think you've got to trust/like the sellers as you'll be involved with them for a while potentially. Once you've found what is truly the house you wAnt no one will remember anything about the one you've put an offer on on now.

Let us know how you get on, and you can't beat having your mum with you for honest advice xxxx

 

[Hunnie]

Well we went to the first house which is listed as offers in excess of 100,000 but after asking the estate agent the woman is looking for about 120,000 which is completely fair enough as it was a really nice house in a desired location so I used the time looking at the house to use as a comparison to the one that we could afford. It was a really beautiful house but I have to admit even if we could afford it I just didn't feel that comfortable in it and couldn't imagine it as our own.

Went and viewed the second house that is listed at 99,950 and went in with a really open mind. The house didn't look as nice in the flesh as it did on the pictures but it has been on the market for nearly a year now so obviously has had some wear and tear through general use. There is some work that needs to be done on it such as the damp needs addressing down in the cellar but other than that I really liked the house and felt happy within it and like I could make it my own and somewhere for us to happily live . Going to book another viewing for it hopefully on Friday and take OH and builder friend along so he can assess the damp and give us an opinion on the overall condition. I think depending on what Builder friend says we will consider putting in an offer but at one a lot less than what they are wanting as Ive decided we may as well be a bit cheeky in this climate and all they can say is no.

OH has found another house that I think we are going to go and have a look at. Down points are that it is VERY close to his mothers (grrrr) but it looks a sound enough house

 

[beckyboo1]

Sounds like you had a good days viewing then. Glad you managed to go in with an open mind and see that there are plenty of properties put there.
It's def ok to go on with a cheeky offer esp if it's been on the Market a year. They can only say no and then you can increase your offer! I'm so pleased for you and hope you feel a bit better about things now xx keep us updated

 

[Hunnie]

Off to view the terraced house again this afternoon with OH and then onto a house he has picked out on a little avenue. Shall see how it all goes