OHs/mums with you in labour - real help or additional embarrassment?

[HeppiBean]

I've never been through it before myself... But my OH and MIL will both be present at the birth OH cause it's his lil girl and all that jazz and MIL for the maternal, been through it before sort of support... I would have had my mum there instead of OH's but I'm not in contact with my familt so....

At the end of the day... I really can't see myself caring who's there at the time ha ha xx

 

[i.love]

When I was in labour the MW kept getting OH to stand down there to help hold my feet - i was like nooooo - stay up here, he just stood there with his mouth open...I was saying stop looking ect. She kept saying to him, look at this look at that, and i remember feeling mortified, coz I couldn't see for myself what was going on.

OMG!! I think it's very insensitive - it's not for her to decide what he should see, it should be entirely up to the parents! I'm sure she can hold the feet herself somehow.

thanks for telling me - I'll make sure to tell my husband not to go there whatever she says!!

 

[i.love]

Heppi, how are you doing? I haven't been very active here recently - are you back with you OH? xx

 

[HeppiBean]

Heppi, how are you doing? I haven't been very active here recently - are you back with you OH? xx

Not too bad ta actually a lot better than I have been

And kind of lol... Not 00% sure where I stand but would still never stop him being there for the birth either way xx

 

[knopk@]

I think its insensitive to say to your OH to look at things when you dont want him to, my OH wont even cut the cord(and i would rather a professional did it), no way he is allowed at business end

 

[littlemiss83]

omg heppi didn't realise you'd split with your man....hope you ok



i.love - tell your OH he best just stay away from down there. loool its so hard to be taken seriously when in labour too. In a wierd way I kinda wish I could have seen what OH seen so I know what it looked like but at the same time i'm glad I didn't (as I probs wouldn't be pg with no2) loool

 

[HeppiBean]

yehh im ok ta hun. was a couple of weeks ago now x

 

[littlemiss83]

yehh im ok ta hun. was a couple of weeks ago now x

Sorry to hear that, hope yous can work it out.

I take it your still living together?

 

[HeppiBean]

yehh we are and hes decided i dont have to leave and he was being an arse that day but im not sure what to do cause if hes done it once whats stopping him doing it again... but were working on it xx

 

[i.love]

littlemiss, I already did I told him that if he's told to go down there, he should just say "NO"! Hopefully he'll remember that

 

[Princess81]

MIL and myself have agreed that the only way she will be at the birth is if it's a total emergency and there is no one else who could possibly be there with me

 

[Rachey]

I thought I would have been mortified having OH seeing everything, and everyone says "you won't care who sees what" I didn't believe it, I had told OH to stay up at my head lol but honestly it's so true! You really won't care atall!

When Matthew was on his way out there was OH, two midwives, a student midwife and another midwife who was about to come on shift - I was leaning over the back of the bed so had my fat arse sticking out on show to all of them to make things worse I think I might have had a very small accident OH hasn't mentioned it and I'm too scared to ask.. I'd rather he didn't tell me I think

But like others have said, I don't think I would have coped without having OH there! When I lost control of my breathing he helped me to get back on top of it and when I was pushing I squeezed his hand as hard as I possibly could haha, sounds daft but it made the pain not feel so bad lol! I would have hated to have done it without him.. it's also been good to be able to talk about it all and it's nice to have someone tell you that you did well xxx

 

[i.love]

Rachey I'm sure it's right - thinking of what my husband sees will be the last thing on my mind while I'm in labour, but I'm just worried that I will find it all very embarrasing later. Next day I would be wondering - did I do that or not? Did he see that? Does he still remember/think about it?...

but it's great to know that your OH was helpful. I'll also ask mine to come with me and will just hope for the best I guess

 

[cosmicgirl]

i.love maybe keep him up the head end until baby is coming out? So he's there as support and still sees baby born but maybe not anything else? x

 

[teampc]

I'm having my oh and my mum come with me
Hubby has said he doesn't want to move away from my head lol so that's fine with me, I just know I want him there to get me through it all


Mil wants to come......but there is precisely no way in the world that that woman is coming any where near me in labour, I don't even want her to come to the hospital lol

 

[i.love]

cosmicgirl dunno... I'm not sure he needs to see it at all - when I saw some videos, I thought it just looks scary! I still have the picture in my head. What if he'll be having nighmares after that?

if I was a bloke, I don't think I would want to see it either... Maybe I'll change my mind about the whole thing closer to the D-day though.

 

[Constantstar]

I just had my partner with me during my labour and I'm glad that was the case it would have been too much with mine, his or both parents on with us x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Is he especially squeemish? If not, I'm sure he'll be fine hun x

 

[i.love]

cosmicgirl I don't think so... maybe it's just me x

 

[xxbeckyxx]

I couldn't have done labour without OH and my mum, they got me through it! My OH is a bit soft (translate to 'pathetic' when I'm in labour lol), but sympathetic (which is kinda nice when you're in pain), and my mum's old-school harsh, which was VERY useful. At some points I was like 'can't breathe, can't breathe!' and she's just like 'Becky, if you can talk then you can breathe, stop being silly'. Lol!
As for the embarrassment factor, you honestly don't care at that point. Both OH and mum saw Lizzie's head coming out etc and I really wasn't thinking about them at that point iykwim! When midwives do their checks they still cover you up and keep your dignity until the last moment