OH stresses me, parenting >

[nadine]

Little rant for you

i have a 2 year old lil lad an he has a 3 year old little girl (lad lives with me obv but lil girl lives with her mum his ex), but our parenting skills are very very different for example -

my lil lad was playin up getting ready this morning for play group as they do, so i simply said if you dont get ready hun, then im going to turn cbbees of? he didnt listen so of it went and then he came running i got him ready an put it bk on, he then wouldnt come down stairs so to this i said right ill go with out you, so i turn every thing of and went to wards the door to wich he come an got his coat on ect - in my eyes job done no tears im not stressed hes not stressed b4 play group

my partners way would of to be just get him ready an thats with out smaking (we dont do that) but just a stern voice an no messing about attitude - just get him dress/coat on pick him up put him in car etc but as most lil kids do at 2 he would of just kicked off tears / paddy / and an very upset taking just as long plus i would be stressed and he would be stressed b4 play group

on way to work in car my OH starts sayin i need to be more stronger with him or stern, so i said my point saying there is nothing wrong with his ways if it works for him and some time i will use no messing in the right situations but i didnt think that was the right situation to do that in, he couldnt see it an then gose on sayin im going to av my hands full with a baby an a toddler that dont listen, to wich i get annoyed at and also said well ur lil girl who is exact 1 year older then remy still miss behaves an trys it on as all kids at that age do as its part an parcel of learning hahaah

we just leave it an agree to diss agree but its just hard work! and that is with most thing haha just for the record what do u guys think regards the above am i soft an going bonkers or doing things right?? x

 

[jld123]

I agree with you, why cause unnessasary stress and tears when it can be done a simpler way? I expect I have all this to come. Id have been furious with the 'how are you going to cope with a todler and a baby' comment.

You did well to stay level headed and calm ahah x

 

[nadine]

i dont thikn he realises some time what he actually is sayin lol, i said to him in the car you need to think about how things come across as it annoys me an makes me feel like im either doing a crap job or not going to cope and its far from that

i just dont think he is so used to dealing with a very independant woman, an he is just used to ruling the roost hahaa im sure ill smooth him out!

 

[paiges_mum]

im in exactly the same position, u deal with things the way i do and our oh's sound similar, i dont think im bein soft it gets the result im after with minimum fuss whereas hes stricter and everything ends up in the 2 of them bickering and my wee 1 in a huff, and if i try and diffuse the situation then he says im undermining him! ur not alone sweetie and i think ur doin great

 

[nadine]

glad im not alone hahaa, love him to bits but gowd its like avin another child pmsl x

 

[Piglet10]

errrr i wud prob be quite strict with a two year old cos then i think they sorta learn v quickly not to bother messing cos it gets them nowhere so from that point of view i wud do what ur OH does BUT i also think whats right for me isnt right for everyone and if a child is being disciplined and taught right from wrong and not being beat or abused then each to their own i dont think ur way is necessarily that diff from ur oh's only he sounds crosser haha! its not like one believes in smacking and one doesnt xx